Def Jam's How To Be a Player Review

by Chuck Dowling (chuckd21 AT southeast DOT net)
August 14th, 1997
HOW TO BE A PLAYER
    A film review by Chuck Dowling
    Copyright 1997 Chuck Dowling

How To Be A Player (1997) NO STARS out of ***** - Cast: Bill Bellamy, Bernie
Mac, Gilbert Gottfried. Written by: Mark Brown and Deetria Johnson. Directed
by: Lionel C. Martin. Running Time: 98 minutes.

Wow, a film without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm amazed that
someone thought this was a story that must be told on screen. Many blacks in Hollywood complain that they are not nominated for awards based on their
race. I think first they need to concentrate their energy on themselves, and
stop making movies which makes them look like nothing more than sex-crazed
buffoons. Even I'm offended by it.

Bill Bellamy is a "player" which means he sleeps with a lot of women and
lies to them. What a pleasant main character. One day, his friends decide
that they want to find out how to be a player. Why they decide this "one
day" I have no idea. How many years have they been friends and why all of a
sudden would they want to learn? Anyway, Bellamy agrees to teach, and his
wonderful lesson to his friends consists of letting them ride in his car
while he rides from house to house having sex with women. This is the bulk
of the film folks, guys riding from house to house, one keeps getting out to
have sex, while the others sit in the car.

Since Russell Simmons is producer, and since the official title of the film
is "Def Jam's How To Be A Player", I was ready to be jumping up and down and
stomping my feet and beating the person next to me because of the comedy.
Amazingly, aside from Gilbert Gottfried's 90 seconds of screen time, there
was no comedy in the film for me to express myself in such a manner. Instead
of jokes, there's just an endless stream of profanity and naked breasts (and
naked breasts aren't so bad, but naked breasts alone don't make a good
movie).

Be sure to bring along your ebonics to english dictionary as well. Gilbert Gottfried's character serves as one in his very brief appearance, asking for explanations as to what is being said. They should have brought him along
for the entire film. [R]

--
Chuck Dowling -- <chuckd21@southeast.net>

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