Flirting

I am the first to admit that I am a flirt. It is just the way I get comfortable with the opposite sex. However, I recently talked to a female I met here in Texas and she flirts really, REALLY excessively. I understand why she does it, but to that extream? I mean, there is a fine line between flirty and slutty, and she is dancing on it.

Anyways... enough of that. Why do some people flirt so much? Why do some people do things that drive others so mad that they cannot differenciate between playful flirting and actual feelings of... love, lust, etc.?

Lets talk about flirting.

because no one knows anything else.

Originally posted by cking
because no one knows anything else.

Wha...?

I am not a flirt and proud of it

I would admit I flirt to much...with the opposite sex (very fun to do too)

And I am gay

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
I am not a flirt and proud of it

Are you sure about that

I enjoy a good flirt, but I am more playful. However I have found some people who don't realise they are flirting, they are just really, really extroverted, expressive people. Which is unfortunate as it can reflect badly on them.

Of course there are others who know they are doing it, and are over the top.

Originally posted by Royal Knight
Are you sure about that

yes

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
yes



everyone flirts one time or another

not me

Originally posted by Royal Knight


everyone flirts one time or another

Everyone

Originally posted by Morning_Glory
not me

You liar.

i flirt

Everyone does.

I flirt and dont even realize I am flirting. I cannot help it

no i know that i dont

i dont even speak... Im mute.. so i cant flirt

yes you can ; YOPU TOTALLY CAN !

The Eyes Flirt !

no

Its true.

OK ; MG Doesnt flirt.

Personally I get more chance to flirt at work rather than when im out.

Originally posted by GCG
Personally I get more chance to flirt at work rather than when im out.

I know what you mean. When I was working as an accountant, I would go to drop of the daily deposit and would meet girls at a bank. And there was this girl that started there about a month before I left, and we would flirt all the time.

I flirt with girls mostly at parties.

Me to her: .....bla bla bla are those real

She To Me: EXCUSE ME ?! I dont think thats any of Your business !

Me to Her: ..uh. Perhaps you misunderstood ; I was refering to your nails.

Originally posted by GCG
Me to her: .....bla bla bla are those real

She To Me: EXCUSE ME ?! I dont think thats any of Your business !

Me to Her: ..uh. Perhaps you misunderstood ; I was refering to your nails.



Classic

lol.. even when i am talkin to one of my guy friends i flirt.. its just in my nature i guess.. but if i am hangin out with a guy no matter who is with us i flirt.. lol.. some times i dont mean to.. but most guys seem to enjoy it

it all depends on the mood and situation for me. I can be a horrendous flirt in the right company, but on the same score I hate it when people keep trying to flirt with me when I've made it clear I'm not interested. That just friks me off big time...

I flirt, and I know I do. But some people flirt to the extream that makes you think "how can you do that?"

ditto

I can almost guarantee that the same is said about me though.

Originally posted by GCG
OK ; MG Doesnt flirt.

Personally I get more chance to flirt at work rather than when im out.

...you got your way.

I ALWAYS get my way when flirting.

the problems come when you flirt on too many occasions and end up hurting people. I mean some people might take it as just a flirt but at times it gets too serious.

i flirt with every guy. and most of the guys i hang out with r i go out with know that its just in my nature and they dont mind as long as i dont lay it on too thick.. lmao

Originally posted by GCG
I ALWAYS get my way when flirting.

the problems come when you flirt on too many occasions and end up hurting people. I mean some people might take it as just a flirt but at times it gets too serious.

and some people, namely me, sometimes cannot tell if a girl is flirting or not

well you can scienctificly prove if you truly are a flirt or if someone else is.If you like somebody your eyes automaticly dialate rapidly.This doesn't always mean your in love though.Natural flirts have rapidly dialating pupils. Sorry for spelling its' late.

I did not know that

I flirt alot, but only on the flirting line, nothing excessive, nothing overtly suggestive. It's fun, and I do it because I'm at ease with the opposite sex.

Originally posted by Smallville
I did not know that

Yeah it's weird.Theirs also another scientific way to prove if somone likes you.Upon seeing you their eyebrows lift for like a fifth of a second.If you can catch that your in!I look up a bunch of stuff on fliriting and love a while back.It's interesting.They say another way (which is realy scientificly proven),is that if a person likes you while walking by they'll look down.

yeah thats true.

also noticed the playing with the hair. Body language can tell a lot of a person.

lol i play with my hair when i am flirtin

comes naturally to me
i can fliry of i want and dont if not

Do you want me to tell you the person in this world with the most command of a friendly relationship (for a guy)?

An attractive, married woman who flirts heavily but has 0.00% intentions of carrying anything further than that. A.K.A. her life when you don't see her is completely involved with her family. Happens every now and then at the workplace.

Let me rephrase what I said above.

What it should say is, "you think she has no chance of carrying anything further, but you're not entirely sure...."


-- And it's also assuming you're not a psycho.

youve confused me ..

Nothing wrong with some harmless fun

Originally posted by dave123
Nothing wrong with some harmless fun

i agree ..

Oh god, I know that I flirt a lot...it's just the way that me and my friends are. And it's fun too

lol i flirt alot!.. omg.. my friends were like omg you flirt with every guy you talk to dont ya?.. lmao.. both me and my best friend flirt alot.. but mostly me.

Every once in a while an off-topic thread finds its way into the GDF. The question the thread starter asked was never properly addressed, unless you consider "I flirt! Yay for me!" an answer to "Why do people flirt?"

If you are single I see no problem with flirting.

Now if you are with someone then I do see it as a problem. Unless the other person you are with is also flirting.

Originally posted by vaya_the_elf
Unless the other person you are with is also flirting.

If both of you are flirting and you BOTH are cool with it then okay.

If both of you are flirting and you are "sneaking" in peeks & eye contact then you need to reassess the value of the other person in your relationship. By reassess I mean you need to determine how much physical attraction you have to that person and how much they have to you. You also need to wonder how much each one of you fulfills the other's needs physically.

Whew...

Originally posted by Smallville
I am the first to admit that I am a flirt. It is just the way I get comfortable with the opposite sex. However, I recently talked to a female I met here in Texas and she flirts really, REALLY excessively. I understand why she does it, but to that extream? I mean, there is a fine line between flirty and slutty, and she is dancing on it.

Anyways... enough of that. Why do some people flirt so much? Why do some people do things that drive others so mad that they cannot differenciate between playful flirting and actual feelings of... love, lust, etc.?

Lets talk about flirting. Texas?

Well....it's just the nature of some people..I think it's probably to get the opposite sex to notice them or something.

I agree.Some people have to flirt to get attention.Other people just need to walk into a room and they'll get it regardless.


Some flirting is good.Some fliritining is bad.

Flirting is fun. I like to do it to get more comfortable too.

to flirt, or not to flirt that is the question that plagues us all

Yes, flirting doesn't have to be serious, or with anything really in mind. It can be innocent and fun.

Originally posted by Morlow
Flirting is fun. I like to do it to get more comfortable too.

Congratufukinlations! Any more generic answers, anyone?

So what does your response exactly mean?
By flirting with anyone you feel more comfortable, or only with people you think you're attracted to? Do they have to be strangers?
How does that allow you to feel comfortable and have fun?
What if they think you're a desperate fool while you're flirting with them - did that ever cross your mind?

So you just, say, go to a party, start flirting with all the guests so you can feel more comfortable with them and also have fun at the same time? I'll bet your buddies love that! Oh, and welcome to KMC!

Originally posted by Smallville
I am the first to admit that I am a flirt. It is just the way I get comfortable with the opposite sex. However, I recently talked to a female I met here in Texas and she flirts really, REALLY excessively. I understand why she does it, but to that extream? I mean, there is a fine line between flirty and slutty, and she is dancing on it.

Anyways... enough of that. Why do some people flirt so much? Why do some people do things that drive others so mad that they cannot differenciate between playful flirting and actual feelings of... love, lust, etc.?

Lets talk about flirting.
I'm a major flirt... but I can be cause I'm single again

Originally posted by Smallville
I am the first to admit that I am a flirt. It is just the way I get comfortable with the opposite sex. However, I recently talked to a female I met here in Texas and she flirts really, REALLY excessively. I understand why she does it, but to that extream? I mean, there is a fine line between flirty and slutty, and she is dancing on it.

Anyways... enough of that. Why do some people flirt so much? Why do some people do things that drive others so mad that they cannot differenciate between playful flirting and actual feelings of... love, lust, etc.?



i sometimes have this problem. not as extreme as you described, but i've been told to cool it down a bit.

i guess the real reason i flirt is because i love attention and i'm an attentionholic. but anyone who really knows me, knows its all in the spirit of fun and it means nothing beyond me joking and goofing around. i do it with my friends all the time and they know i'm totally and utterly devoted to someone else.

If a girl looks at you and plays with her hair does that mean she wants to ''bone'' you?

indeed~! hhhahaah

anyways, i flirt, espicially eyes flirt (im a guy) apparently i have "pretty eyes" errr....

anyways, i use that, the good ol stare into her eyes while talking, it always works.

actually i did it last night at a party...lol

Well I do that sometimes too

Originally posted by kmcdude
If a girl looks at you and plays with her hair does that mean she wants to ''bone'' you?

Apparently I'm a huge flirt, becvause if I ever go out with friends, and I make a friend, people always say I want the guy...

yeah I get that too... my friend will be all like "You know you want him" and it's kinda annoyin

Originally posted by botankus
Every once in a while an off-topic thread finds its way into the GDF. The question the thread starter asked was never properly addressed, unless you consider "I flirt! Yay for me!" an answer to "Why do people flirt?"

You mean some people were paying attention to the root of the discussion? That is a dag gone stinkin' miracle!

Anyways... the purpose, if you read my original post, was not to come here and brag about how much you flirt or how many of your friends call you a flirt. It was to talk about why people flirt to the extream of making people think they are interested in you, or what not, and then go from 90 mph to 0 mph in the bat of an eyelash.

Originally posted by Clovie
Texas?

This could have been sent to me in a PM, but hey. Yes, Clovie. I am in Texas now. I have been stationed in Ft. Hood, TX for the duration of approximately 1 year. However, my company is schedualed to deploy to Iraq/Afganistan around August of next year.

I dont like to flirt bc it leads ppl on and if you flirt a lot how will ppl know when you are serious and genuine?

Originally posted by Smallville
You mean some people were paying attention to the root of the discussion? That is a dag gone stinkin' miracle!

That's great and all but it doesn't change the fact that the root of the discussion had nothing to do with your original thread - which was promoting a GDF-type discussion.

Originally posted by Oiram62205
I dont like to flirt bc it leads ppl on and if you flirt a lot how will ppl know when you are serious and genuine?

You just speak in a deep, sexy voice (like mine )

I don't flirt. I find a chick fine, I give her the eye, I swagger over to her, we start to talk, we x-change numbers... booyah! all the girls think I'm sexy, so I got it easy.
And flirty chicks are cool, but it's sometimes kinda hard to tell wether they're being slutty or just trying to be cool.

Originally posted by Lord-of-Dreams
You just speak in a deep, sexy voice (like mine )

I don't flirt. I find a chick fine, I give her the eye, I swagger over to her, we start to talk, we x-change numbers... booyah! all the girls think I'm sexy, so I got it easy.
And flirty chicks are cool, but it's sometimes kinda hard to tell wether they're being slutty or just trying to be cool.
Your pickup line is "the eye"?

Originally posted by silver_tears
I flirt alot, but only on the flirting line, nothing excessive, nothing overtly suggestive. It's fun, and I do it because I'm at ease with the opposite sex.

Gotta agree with the Tears here... it's enjoyable when done in moderation, I find it nice when people react well and it's in my nature to be quite forward and approachable. So yeah, I flirt, but it's not generally with the intention to get laid, more to get a positive reaction

Originally posted by Lord-of-Dreams
You just speak in a deep, sexy voice (like mine )

I don't flirt. I find a chick fine, I give her the eye, I swagger over to her, we start to talk, we x-change numbers... booyah! all the girls think I'm sexy, so I got it easy.
And flirty chicks are cool, but it's sometimes kinda hard to tell wether they're being slutty or just trying to be cool.

why is 'slutty' always one of the first things to pop up when a girl acts remotely sexual?

Yeah, and why does the male version of '5lut' happen to be 'stud'?

Hell if I know but its damn annoying

Originally posted by Smallville
You mean some people were paying attention to the root of the discussion? That is a dag gone stinkin' miracle!


I don't think I've ever actually seen any one write out the phrase "dag gone".

Aren't you from NC? It should have a hyphen, dag-gone it!

LOL. Well, I've certainly heard it several times. I even had a friend that used to say "dang-da-do!" when he heard something that suprised or excited him. But I can't say that I've ever seen it written out in text. I dunno, maybe I didn't hang out with the more literate hicks that kept journals.

Hey now, just 'cause you're a hick doesn't mean you can't spell! I'll bet you more hicks than college professors can spell "Dad-gumit!" correctly.

I'm not even sure if I just did or not, either - thus, partially proving my point.

I usually write Dag-Nabbit ... and I'm British

biology. Humans are animals. All animals are biologically pre-disposed to certain behaviors to allow procreation, the carrying-on of their genes. The male and female roles are very different in just about every species of animal on earth, with few exceptions.

Female : Their role is to find the man with the best genes to mate with to pass on to their offspring. It is a process of finding THE best.....to ensure they have the best offspring possible.

Male: The role of the male of the species is simply to spread his seed.....to mate whenever possible in hopes of passing on his genes. It has nothing to do with finding THE best female to mate with......any will serve his purpose, which is simply to procreate.

I hope that answers your question........



I see alot of girls in this thread posting that they flirt......but it's just playful. Um......showing romantic interest in somebody should not be "playful". If you don't actually want to have a romantic relationship with a man, why do you lead him to believe that you do? Does it make you feel good to know you are leading a man on.....giving him the false pretense that you want to have a romantic relationship with him? That doesn't sound too fun or playful to me...........it actually sounds a bit mean and disrespectful.

Originally posted by Evil Dead
I see alot of girls in this thread posting that they flirt......but it's just playful. Um......showing romantic interest in somebody should not be "playful". If you don't actually want to have a romantic relationship with a man, why do you lead him to believe that you do? Does it make you feel good to know you are leading a man on.....giving him the false pretense that you want to have a romantic relationship with him? That doesn't sound too fun or playful to me...........it actually sounds a bit mean and disrespectful.

It's about power and control.

I guess these girls lead sad, sad lives. Their self esteem is so low that the only way to make themselves feel better is to tease others (males).

Wow, so many ways to branch off of Evil Dead's comment....but I'm going to start this day off right. No bashing of dumb 14-year old girls today. Nope, not today!

Originally posted by Evil Dead
biology. Humans are animals. All animals are biologically pre-disposed to certain behaviors to allow procreation, the carrying-on of their genes. The male and female roles are very different in just about every species of animal on earth, with few exceptions.

Female : Their role is to find the man with the best genes to mate with to pass on to their offspring. It is a process of finding THE best.....to ensure they have the best offspring possible.

Male: The role of the male of the species is simply to spread his seed.....to mate whenever possible in hopes of passing on his genes. It has nothing to do with finding THE best female to mate with......any will serve his purpose, which is simply to procreate.

I hope that answers your question........



I see alot of girls in this thread posting that they flirt......but it's just playful. Um......showing romantic interest in somebody should not be "playful". If you don't actually want to have a romantic relationship with a man, why do you lead him to believe that you do? Does it make you feel good to know you are leading a man on.....giving him the false pretense that you want to have a romantic relationship with him? That doesn't sound too fun or playful to me...........it actually sounds a bit mean and disrespectful.

Thanks for answering my question, but you did it on rather a primal level I just meant why do people use the word 5lut in a derogatory context towards females who put it about, so to speak, when the male is considered a stud, as in, praised for his ability to 'conquer' as many women as he pleases?

And the word flirt, IMO, basically means playfully showing a romantic interest. That's the whole point. It isn't meant to be disrespectful, it's all about the banter, adrenaline rush and reaction. Men do it too.

Originally posted by Syren
Thanks for answering my question, but you did it on rather a primal level I just meant why do people use the word 5lut in a derogatory context towards females who put it about, so to speak, when the male is considered a stud, as in, praised for his ability to 'conquer' as many women as he pleases?

And the word flirt, IMO, basically means playfully showing a romantic interest. That's the whole point. It isn't meant to be disrespectful, it's all about the banter, adrenaline rush and reaction. Men do it too.

To answer your question in the most simple way, it's a double standard.

Thanks

Darn double damn standards disgust

Originally posted by Syren
Thanks

Darn double damn standards disgust yes i agree. it is these double standards that's ruining all the fun.

I know!

I flirt, I enjoy it, I've had no complaints. Period.

me personally, i love the rush of it and to see how far it will go. and if it leads to a romp, then as they say in the north of nowhere land. bring it on bay-bah!!!!

women are looked down upon because they are acting in direct contradiction to our biological impulses.....while men are praised for doing their job well by spreading their seed around as much as possible, it is their job.



no......men don't do it to be "playful". If a man is flirting with you......he does want to **** you. He's not playing....he's not leading you on..........he's trying to get inside your vagina................which by what you say is the exact opposite of women's reasons. Women just do it to play......with no actual intension of giving up the poon.....they just want to tease men to make themselves feel better.

Originally posted by Evil Dead
women are looked down upon because they are acting in direct contradiction to our biological impulses.....while men are praised for doing their job well by spreading their seed around as much as possible, it is their job.


you have a strange sense of things when it obviously comes to women. A contradiction? To what? If a woman wishes to sleep around then who am I to say no to that? And if she's called a "****" for doing so, then let be a badge on honour on her part. I could care less as long as she's responsible about it, e.g. protection from STD's and getting pregnant.

I myself would love it if more women would assert their sexuality like us men...if they want it, then go and get it without repercussions from the morally self-righteous fks spewing their vile venom around.

I don't need to flirt....I just reek of joyfulness..

Originally posted by Naib
spewing their vile venom around.

It's these kind of comments that make me want to jump right into the sack this very moment.

"Hey, babe, how 'bout some vile venom?"

Originally posted by Syren
Thanks for answering my question, but you did it on rather a primal level I just meant why do people use the word 5lut in a derogatory context towards females who put it about, so to speak, when the male is considered a stud, as in, praised for his ability to 'conquer' as many women as he pleases?

And the word flirt, IMO, basically means playfully showing a romantic interest. That's the whole point. It isn't meant to be disrespectful, it's all about the banter, adrenaline rush and reaction. Men do it too.

Actually a study showed that people with a high number of sexual partners were considered less intelligent than those with a low number. This was true for both men and women. I wish I could remember the link, but the article was very informative.

The question was about women who flirt with men that they have no attraction to. A playful showing of romantic interest is pretty much lying to the other person if the romantic interest doesn't really exist. Men do flirt, but in the majority of cases, they are somewhat interested.

Originally posted by Evil Dead
no......men don't do it to be "playful". If a man is flirting with you......he does want to **** you. He's not playing....he's not leading you on..........he's trying to get inside your vagina................which by what you say is the exact opposite of women's reasons. Women just do it to play......with no actual intension of giving up the poon.....they just want to tease men to make themselves feel better.

With men it isn't always about sex.

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
Actually a study showed that people with a high number of sexual partners were considered less intelligent than those with a low number. This was true for both men and women. I wish I could remember the link, but the article was very informative.

The question was about women who flirt with men that they have no attraction to. A playful showing of romantic interest is pretty much lying to the other person if the romantic interest doesn't really exist. Men do flirt, but in the majority of cases, they are somewhat interested.



With men it isn't always about sex.

It's always about sex with a male... if they are flirting with a woman there will only ever be one motive; to sleep with her. With women, generally, it is initially to gauge a reaction, to get reassurance that they are physically attractive and perhaps to sleep with the male. But for women there is usually more than one motive. With men, usually only one.

And as for the intelligence level, I am quite happy to take your word for it. But that must make me (and many other women) an exception to the rule. I have slept with many people and I consider myself quite intelligent. I knew exactly what I was doing, I enjoyed it. And none of my grey matter exploded from my ears in the process I would like the link if you manage to find it though, sounds interesting.

Originally posted by Syren
It's always about sex with a male... if they are flirting with a woman there will only ever be one motive; to sleep with her. With women, generally, it is initially to gauge a reaction, to get reassurance that they are physically attractive and perhaps to sleep with the male. But for women there is usually more than one motive. With men, usually only one.

And as for the intelligence level, I am quite happy to take your word for it. But that must make me (and many other women) an exception to the rule. I have slept with many people and I consider myself quite intelligent. I knew exactly what I was doing, I enjoyed it. And none of my grey matter exploded from my ears in the process I would like the link if you manage to find it though, sounds interesting.


It isn't always about sex. I have flirted with many women that I had no intention nor desire of sleeping with. I just enjoyed their company. I flirt with my female friends all the time, but there is no sexual desire from either of us.

Don't misunderstand me. Many sex partners doesn't make a person less intelligent, just generally perceived as less intelligent by others. The study was based on interviews and could definitely be skewed.

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
It isn't always about sex. I have flirted with many women that I had no intention nor desire of sleeping with. I just enjoyed their company. I flirt with my female friends all the time, but there is no sexual desire from either of us.

Don't misunderstand me. Many sex partners doesn't make a person less intelligent, just generally perceived as less intelligent by others. The study was based on interviews and could definitely be skewed.

I see.

So you do agree that flirtatiousness is acceptable? I mean, you said yourself;

"A playful showing of romantic interest is pretty much lying to the other person if the romantic interest doesn't really exist. Men do flirt, but in the majority of cases, they are somewhat interested."

So you admit that you flirt without having a romantic interest? Therefore, flirting with a member of the opposite sex for reasons of fun and enjoyment is perfectly natural?

Originally posted by Syren
I see.

So you do agree that flirtatiousness is acceptable? I mean, you said yourself;

"A playful showing of romantic interest is pretty much lying to the other person if the romantic interest doesn't really exist. Men do flirt, but in the majority of cases, they are somewhat interested."

So you admit that you flirt without having a romantic interest? Therefore, flirting with a member of the opposite sex for reasons of fun and enjoyment is perfectly natural?

I didn't say there was absolutely no romantic interest, just not a sexual one.

Originally posted by Evil Dead
women are looked down upon because they are acting in direct contradiction to our biological impulses.....while men are praised for doing their job well by spreading their seed around as much as possible, it is their job.



no......men don't do it to be "playful". If a man is flirting with you......he does want to **** you. He's not playing....he's not leading you on..........he's trying to get inside your vagina................which by what you say is the exact opposite of women's reasons. Women just do it to play......with no actual intension of giving up the poon.....they just want to tease men to make themselves feel better.

This is what I had a problem with, do you agree or disagree Kenobi?

Originally posted by Syren
This is what I had a problem with, do you agree or disagree Kenobi?

If you want to get into chemicals, I would agree. But intent plays a big part in things.

I completely disagree about the man always wanting to have sex with the woman. That may be Evil's MO, but it's not true of every man.

I know that, I was aiming below the belt. In a non sexual manner of course

I don't agree with the primal side of it, I believe society has played a huge part in changing all that.

Intent plays the biggest role, and whether you're flirting with the intention of getting laid or just for your own personal gratification, I honestly think it's up to the individual. Each to their own.

Back to the simple question, yes, I flirt. I mean no harm, but it's enjoyable for both parties. I would never lead someone on for manipulative reasons, or use someone with less confidence as a pawn in my flirtatious games.

If you flirt for fun and someone views flirting as something people do to get laid, it leads to places.

-AC

My boyf just said exactly that...

But as far as I'm concerned, if my primary reason for flirting with anyone is to get a reaction and for self reassurance (on a basic level), why should I have to take responsibility for their perception? It's their prerogative, their point of view... and as long as I know (and my boyf knows) that I would never cross the line, what's so bad about enjoying harmless attention?

Originally posted by Syren
I know that, I was aiming below the belt. In a non sexual manner of course

I don't agree with the primal side of it, I believe society has played a huge part in changing all that.

Intent plays the biggest role, and whether you're flirting with the intention of getting laid or just for your own personal gratification, I honestly think it's up to the individual. Each to their own.

Back to the simple question, yes, I flirt. I mean no harm, but it's enjoyable for both parties. I would never lead someone on for manipulative reasons, or use someone with less confidence as a pawn in my flirtatious games.

I think it's up to the individual as long as there is understanding between both parties. Flirting is fun until one person misconstrues the message being sent. Too often it becomes an issue of control.

Now another question. What makes someone a good flirter?

Flirting is completely harmless. There is a big difference between flirting and telling a person "Hey let's go *beep*". But to be fair, I don't flirt because I'm gonna end up looking like a total idiot. So I just don't do it.

That's a really hard question and again I think it comes down to the individuals invloved. Not just the flirter themselves but the 'flirtee', as it were

Depending on what the person likes, the one who is being flirted with, and also what the flirter is capable of. Also, which environment they are both in, etc...

For me, someone who reads body language well and can assess a situation from various angles. For instance, you woudln't flirt outrageously with someone else's partner... it's just not flirting etiquette.

Well, I suck at flirting. It's very uncomfortable to me, but more than a few female friends have said I'm good at it. The problem is, I don't even realize that I'm doing anything at all.

That's natural confidence, obviously people have different levels. Also, many people are extremely conscious of themselves and literally think each step through in the flirting process. IMO, that takes away half the enjoyment.

Originally posted by Syren
That's natural confidence, obviously people have different levels. Also, many people are extremely conscious of themselves and literally think each step through in the flirting process. IMO, that takes away half the enjoyment.


Hmmmm... I never looked at it like that.

Flirting has to be spontaneous, something you do because you feel a 'chemical' attraction to someone, or an urge to let them know you noticed them. It still doesn't need to be for sexual reasons, maybe even just because you like the look of them and feel like you want to know more...

Well then, how would this chemical reaction work if you were attracted to someone's personality? I understand the chemical reactions based on looks, but the personality attraction seems to be more analytical to me. I guess a good example would internet relationships or blind dates that you've spoken on the phone to before you actually meet in person. I wonder if the flirting in those situations is spontaneous or more conscious.

Yeah, liking the look of someone is usually based on their physical attributes, whether they're aesthetically pleasing etc... but have you never had that moment when you locked eyes with someone and felt the air charge with electricity? You may not have even noticed what they're wearing... you just know they're something else.

Eh. I don't know about that. Usually it's when they speak that I feel the electricity. I can't recall ever just looking at someone and thinking oh my I must get to know her.

I can't flirt. Would girls here give me some advice?(I am men by the way, but I trust women more when they speak about their gender).

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
Eh. I don't know about that. Usually it's when they speak that I feel the electricity. I can't recall ever just looking at someone and thinking oh my I must get to know her.

Yep. And you can't see speech

Do you think people in different countries with different up bringings act or feel in a different way??? I have one very good friend who is English and has a German girlfriend. having worked with him(Paul) I have realised that I have grown up in a society where it's the norm. to be a so called player (for a male) or a sl*t (for a female). I have grown up in and out of relationships with this drilled into the back of my mind. I can't get the idea out of my head that a female or male can 'Flirt' without having that intention of gettin' a FU*K out of it!!!!! Where I have lived and the way I have been brought up I don't think there's anything wrong with being this way!!! If your not in a relationship.. Once you have vowed to be i a relationship then you should chuck all these standards out-tha-window....!!!! Agree!!!!?????

Originally posted by Syren
Yep. And you can't see speech

Truly, women are most complex organism ever created. LOL

Originally posted by mc_thunda
Do you think people in different countries with different up bringings act or feel in a different way??? I have one very good friend who is English and has a German girlfriend. having worked with him(Paul) I have realised that I have grown up in a society where it's the norm. to be a so called player (for a male) or a sl*t (for a female). I have grown up in and out of relationships with this drilled into the back of my mind. I can't get the idea out of my head that a female or male can 'Flirt' without having that intention of gettin' a FU*K out of it!!!!! Where I have lived and the way I have been brought up I don't think there's anything wrong with being this way!!! If your not in a relationship.. Once you have vowed to be i a relationship then you should chuck all these standards out-tha-window....!!!! Agree!!!!?????

Obviously you believe in living life to the max, but only whilst single.

I do understand what you're saying and part of me agrees with you but you have to admit that the conditions for a relationship have to based on both parties... not just your own. You believe that once you commit to someone you must never again act in a flirtatious or provocative manner, which I can understand... but it depends on the intention behind the flirtatious behaviour. If your partner flirts for the sole reason of getting laid, then they are not someone you should even consider committing yourself to. If, however, your partner is a naturally approachable person who adores the limelight and thrives on attention it shouldn't be down to you to shut them in a box because of your 'prudish' beliefs. You have to make your judgement, as partners, based on the ulterior motive behind the flirtatious behaviour.

lol

Originally posted by Syren
Obviously you believe in living life to the max, but only whilst single.

I do understand what you're saying and part of me agrees with you but you have to admit that the conditions for a relationship have to based on both parties... not just your own. You believe that once you commit to someone you must never again act in a flirtatious or provocative manner, which I can understand... but it depends on the intention behind the flirtatious behaviour. If your partner flirts for the sole reason of getting laid, then they are not someone you should even consider committing yourself to. If, however, your partner is a naturally approachable person who adores the limelight and thrives on attention it shouldn't be down to you to shut them in a box because of your 'prudish' beliefs. You have to make your judgement, as partners, based on the ulterior motive behind the flirtatious behaviour.

I think it, once again depends on intention. Even if the flirtation objective is not to "get laid," but simply to gain the attention of other members of the opposite sex, the relationship may not be that strong. I feel that in a commited relationship, your partner should not need to seek to attraction of others to feel good about themselves.

then that's not flirtatious, that's Friendliness, then thats acceptable...!!! Of course you can be friendly... It all depends on what you define 'Flirtatious' by??? There is a definite line which by no means should be crossed in any circumstances whist in a relationship.

Originally posted by mc_thunda
then that's not flirtatious, that's Friendliness, then thats acceptable...!!! Of course you can be friendly... It all depends on what you define 'Flirtatious' by??? There is a definite line which by no means should be crossed in any circumstances whist in a relationship.

Flirtation is behavior which projects a romantic interest in another party. Your partner should not be behaving in this way toward other males.

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
I think it, once again depends on intention. Even if the flirtation objective is not to "get laid," but simply to gain the attention of other members of the opposite sex, the relationship may not be that strong. I feel that in a commited relationship, your partner should not need to seek to attraction of others to feel good about themselves.

That's true... but if the person wasn't doing it either for the sexual reason, or a reassurance reason, but instead for the fact that they simply love attention, that isn't crossing the mutual line of respect.

Originally posted by Oswald Kenobi
Flirtation is behavior which projects a romantic interest in another party. Your partner should not be behaving in this way toward other males.

I don't believe this... I think flirtation can be defined differently. NOT as a sexual connotation, or as a romantic motive, but simply because the person loves the limelight. This isn't crossing the line!

Originally posted by Syren
That's true... but if the person wasn't doing it either for the sexual reason, or a reassurance reason, but instead for the fact that they simply love attention, that isn't crossing the mutual line of respect.

Well said. I think then it would come down to the level of flirtation. I have had girlfriends flirt with my friends and my friends girlfriends flirt with me. The level of flirtation was very low, and almost as a parody than anything serious. I see nothing wrong with that kind of behavior.

Originally posted by Syren
I don't believe this... I think flirtation can be defined differently. NOT as a sexual connotation, or as a romantic motive, but simply because the person loves the limelight. This isn't crossing the line!

I don't see flirtation as simply grabbing the limelight. There is always a romantic or sexual connotation to it.

Please read: not intention.

I apologize for bringing up an old post, but I havent been on for the better part of this "heated debate."

Originally posted by Syren
It's always about sex with a male... if they are flirting with a woman there will only ever be one motive; to sleep with her. With women, generally, it is initially to gauge a reaction, to get reassurance that they are physically attractive and perhaps to sleep with the male.

This I have to disagree with this. I flirt with females to gauge reactions, to assure females that yes I do find them attractive, and to either assure or reassure them that they can be more comfortable around me. When I flirt, I BARELY make physical contact. I will occasionally touch them, but generally on the small of their back or other not so commonly touched areas. (Please do not take this as a naughty thing.) But, when I flirt, I usually just... act like me I guess. I make the girl laugh, I just make her feel comfortable. Secure, if you will.

I flirt with alot of females, are you prepared to hold that "It's always about the sex" theory up to me? Or any other guy who flirts harmlessly.

Why is it harmless generally with women, but with men it's ALWAYS about the sex? That's a rash, unfounded and pointless generalisation. If women are of the persuasion that casual sex is ok (as they should be, stay safe), then they will always know if a man is someone they'd f*ck or not. So to say they flirt generally to gauge a reaction and see if they find him attractive, that's not the case by far.

I only do that because I'm single at the moment. When I'm in a relationship I never intentionally flirt with other females. Why? Because I personally believe that while the intention isn't always to get laid, flirting is something people do when they have an attraction or want to arouse attraction. Sometimes the way I naturally am could be seen as flirting, but I never interact with another woman as a taken man, with the intention of flirting.

I wouldn't like it if my girl did that, I'm sure she wouldn't like it if I did either.

If it IS just out of natural comfort that you flirt then no actual harm done but some people (like your partner) may not like it. I try to be considerate in relationships.

I can see why Syren thinks it's about limelight, because she flirts and is coincidentally an attention whore (Self-proclaimed and proud. I repeat, self-proclaimed. She calls herself it).

However, when people flirt it's because they want to get a reaction from someone. Not from many people. So I can't really see where the limelight theory comes into it unless you're establishing it out of your own personal flirtacious ways.

-AC

some of you seem to take sexual motives as meaning "only about sex".

Are you telling me that you flirt with fat or ugly girls that you have no desire to date whatsoever?

I made the comparison between men and women flirting. Men flirt with those females he finds attractive, sexually appealing. Ofcourse if given his way this may lead to dating.....which in time will lead to sex. A woman in this post stated that she flirted with men she had no interest in..........which I said was a bit mean and disrespectful. Sure, she flirts with him in hopes that he'll flirt back making her feel desired.......but if she has no interest in him, why make him think you do? She's boosting her own self esteem at the cost of lowering his when she shoots him down because she's not attracted to him.

im like super-flirty, but i dont flirt, and yet i do. im really wierd. i just got DigiMark007 to hug me.....i like hugs and solicite them to everybody. and im a high contact individual. everyone thinks im a 'mo and its really starting to miiff me. what do i do?cry

Ok, unfounded generalisation from the point of view of the male so I apologise... I am not male and therefore base my opinion on experience

I love attention, so for ME it's about the limelight. That's where the idea came from, AC.

Originally posted by Syren
I love attention, so for ME it's about the limelight. That's where the idea came from, AC.

Clearly missed this:

Originally posted by Alpha Centauri
I can see why Syren thinks it's about limelight, because she flirts and is coincidentally an attention whore (Self-proclaimed and proud. I repeat, self-proclaimed. She calls herself it).

Read my posts.

-AC

I think what she refers to as "the limelight" is merely and ego boost..........an esteem booster, to hell with the self esteem of others.

Everyone links attention. Forget attention, how about something of substance? Getting attention by flirting is not much different from falling on your ass in the middle of a crowded club. Everyone sees you, but one only gleans from the experience what that person will. Flirting is an art form. One that doesn't reveal too much, but just enough.

Flirting is also not really for attention from the crowd. If that's what you're seeking by flirting, then you have your priorities all screwed up. That's whatmakes you a whore. Flirting only happens between two individuals. Unless of course, you run into a group of swingers in the bar at your local chain resturant.

I'm a flirt, flirtings' fun.

I love to flirt.

So I noticed.

Yeah, I wanna flirt with someone I've never talked to before, but no one seems worthy right now...

I'd hope you'd figured out that I like to flirt by now

hey sexy

christ......

I think it'd be scary if I hadn't, Lana...

Wow, that was fast! Hey there, ILH. How you doin?

Christ, where?

However, I do have some dignity and while I flirt shamelessly, it's generally only with people I know already.

Yup! Especially with British folk...

Wow, I killed the thread I intended to gather ladies in...

Bored. Hijacking thread.

Trying to flirt is the antithesis to the real art. Do it nonchalantly, or don't do it at all. Mmm, yes. You are fine. I love your shoes. Me? Haha, why yes. I do swim laps. Regularly.

Originally posted by Captain REX
Wow, I killed the thread I intended to gather ladies in...

Bored. Hijacking thread.

*flirts with Rex*

Lana is quite possibly the biggest flirt I've met, one of certainly.

It's always done harmlessly though. Without intention? Who can say......who can say.

-AC