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I thought I'd just take the mick out of soap operas...

this is FICTIONAL, and relates in NO WAY to the ACTUAL events of KMC. If you are annoyed at how you are portrayed, contact Ush, and I'm sure he'll edit for me... *bats eyelashes*


As soon as u wanna join in, you may...



Dumdumdumdumdudmdum....


The annoying theme music fades out to the VoiceOverGuy...


Last Week, on KMC...



Ushgaraks charming manner has finally got him into trouble, as the many girls he flirts with have found out and are ganging up on him...



PHOE
How dare you! *slaps Ush*

LILY
I thought you loved me! *slaps Ush*

YERSSOT
I turn my back for a second... *slaps Ush*


USH
Stop... slapping... me!

I have noticed he is rather flirtatious

write something, diego! its fun!

Well, last week on As the KMC Turns, we had this scandal about those little kitties that are shoved into glass containers for decoration
Stirred up everyone's emotions something fierce

Put my name on that list, they said, that is despicable they said

I said I thought the whole thing was a joke and got creamed for it...it was fun though!

last week....ergh..*hic* ..i don't remember what happened last week

This is funny. Poor Ush...

... I just like being nice to people...

and this is how they pay you back

... it's not even a secret...

they just spit you in the face with it, yeah....you senseless bastards!

... and Phoe is just annoyed that I sold her nude pics to the tabloids...

(I think that's worth a point back to me...)

i thought you a gentleman. gentlemen ALWAYS deny it! You just admited it there

Well, I can't help what the soap opera voiceover reveals! It knows all!

so is the soap opera voice over guy the same as big brother (not the show)

Actually, we COULD do a big brother of KMC...



*giggles evilly, and rushes off to start new thread...*

*phoe is discovered amidst the tattered remains of yerssots chocolate welcome home cake*

USH
*giggles happily*
Now I get to slap someone!!
*slaps Phoe*

PHOE
HEY!
*slaps Ush*

USH
No fair!
*slaps Phoe*

PHOE
HEY!
*slaps Ush*

USH
No fair!
*slaps Phoe*

PHOE
HEY!
*slaps Ush*

USH
No fair!
*slaps Phoe*

PHOE
HEY!
*slaps Ush*

USH
No fair!
*slaps Phoe*

Kinky... I like this bit...

Welcome To Radio Free KMC.

Elm: Today we have a request.
Elm picks up the phone then places it on a speaker.
Elm: Radio Free KMC, you're on.
Requester: I like to hear X Gonna Give It To Ya.
Elm: Hey Phoe should I.

*Phoe has a stressful day at work*

YOBBISH CUSTOMER
You've given me the wrong change, you BEEPING BEEP!!!
*slaps PHOE*

PHOE
*snaps and has a mental breakdown*
SHUTUP
*slaps customer*
That's bad
*slaps self*
no its not!
*slaps customer*
yes it is!
*slaps self*

someone else write something - everything i write is centered around slapping people!

What? Phoe is her own Aunt?

Elm walks in.
Elm: *Slaps Phoe* Dumb Beep.

*walks in...sees all the slapping and turns to go*

Niki where are you going?

*walks in and looks for someone to slap....*

i don't want to get slapped

and this place seems a little violent

I won't slap you.

*slaps Elm* sorry....you were just there......

Thanks.

sorry! *hugs elm* i'll slap myself *slaps me* ow.....

Laughes.

at least i didn't get slapped

*hides behind elm so others can't get me*

Elm kisses her forehead.

is there anyone else about who won;t mind me slapping them?

Yourself.

*slaps me over and over* this.....is....starting.....to......really....hurt.......

O well

*gives cermie chill pill so she'll stop slapping herself*

thank you niki *looks in mirror* well at least i'll never have to use blush again.....

Elm sits on a couch.

*cermie turns on tv*

Elm watches Degrassi: The Next Generation.

*goes to kitchen to cook up some lunch*

catfish anyone?

I'll have some.

catfish?

*bangs and clangs come from kitchen*

farm-raised so it doesn't deplete wild rescources

and organic so no chemicals

Wowyour cookin is great.

okay
i cooked someone else gets to clean up

i WILL.

good cuz i hate doing dishes

Elm did the dishes.

what are we gonna do now

Don't know.

we need more people

PEOPLE!!!!!!

you're right.

*sits around waiting for other people to show*

*Close to Niki.*

*puts head on elms shoulder*

*waiting for people*

*Kisses Niki on the forehead."

*starts long involved conversation with cermie about the many attributes of men who wear eyeliner*

Elm falls asleep

EYELINER!!

Elm jumps
Elm:AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who remembers this...?

I never participated but I remember this

wow a soap opera

"oh Marsha!"