The Most Exciting Event of the Year!

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Ushgarak
Tomorrow is the Eurovision Song Contest! Woo-hoo! Could life BE any more exciting?

(This will mean nothing to our American friends, of course).

Well, now this crazy fun house of quality music is imminent, we can hardly ignore it here can wee?

The UK leads it's high-quality charge for victory with No Dream Impossible... well, it can't be much worse than the last couple of years, but it's beginning to look like ever since we annhilated all with Love Light Shining we can't be bothered any more...

I see Finti's people are giving us On My Own while Queeq's fellow countrymen are hitting us with OUT on my own... either my lisitngs magazine is wrong or there is a serious imagination problem here.

Results here as they come in, courtesy of me! My life is SO full!

razman
Bring back Gina Gee! laughing out loud

Ushgarak
Now, yuo see, that one sounded VAGUELY like a Eurovision song, unlike what we've been doing lately. Third place, not bad.

Gundark
Well keep us posted, Ush.

ratcat
Oh yes, please do... Can you detect the sarcasm hgere?

Ushgarak
Did you detect mine?

JediOasis
I've heard of that contest, Noel Gallagher claimed "All around the world" would win that by "oh, I don't know, 30 points." big grin

finti
Yeah as he would know, he dont even know what day it is. laughing out loud The swedes have a real Abba clone but the eurovison song contest is a gathering of bad songs, real bad ones.

Edna_witch
Thank god my dad has comendeered the teleivsion for tonight and I wont have to be subjected to a Eurovision hell! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

Ushgarak
Don't worry, I will be giving news here, as it happens!

Edna_witch
But my mother will be on the computer no doubt so I am safe!

Ushgarak
What's that? You want me to e-mail all the results to you so you don't miss a thing? Done!

Edna_witch
You dare and I will block you! I mean it!

Ushgarak
Who could possibly resist the golden allure of Eurovision?

Right, I'm out of here. See you later.

Edna_witch
I can resisit ir just like I do every year! go on then get out of here!

razman
I'm sure he'll be back by the time they annouce the winner...

Edna_witch
Undoubtedly but I will be long gone!

Ushgarak
You cannot escape your destiny, Edna... you're a singer. I predict you will enter Eurovision one year...

Edna_witch
I can confidently say that that will never be happening. I'm a bad singer but Im not THAT bad! I will not go so low as to enter the Eurovision song contest! That would be social suicide!

Ushgarak
Samantha Janus managed to survive entering. And her song was AMAZINGLY bad, even for Eurovision.

"Half the world is hungry,
and half the wrld is fat..."

(Sound of audience vomiting)

And now she does sit-coms and films and stuff.

Edna_witch
http://www.foetusx.homestead.com/files/doublepuke.gif

And that just proves my point! It ruined her singing career!

Ushgarak
But it springboarded her showbiz career!

Edna_witch
But i dont want a showbiz career! Besides, one out of several hundred competetors is not a good statistic!

Ushgarak
In denial? Never mind, the truth will out...

Let's see how this year's brave young girl does for the UK... quite WHY she entered is beyond most of us, I feel.

Ushgarak
Well, it's started... courtesy of our Danish friends... I'm actually a little more busy than I though I would be, but I'll try to check back with important updates!

Ushgarak
'Pert, but not a winner' says our dear commentator Terry Wogan about the Dutch entry...

Ushgarak
Ok, the Latvian entry has confused the heck out of me...

Ushgarak
Well,just to make our life worse they inflcited the bloody Barbie girl song on us as well...

Phone lines are closed! Results soon!

Ushgarak
Well, at this point the countries represented on this board are doing TERRIBLY. The Netherlands just got off the mark with a grateful five points, the UK has been languishing on two points from the start, and Norway hasn't scored yet.

Meanwhile, Estonia of all places leads with 42 points. Denmark is just behind with 41, then it's France with 33

Ushgarak
Well, it;s not been a good night. The UK and Netherlands have at least registered, the poor Norwegians don't appear to be picking up much. The vcitory run is a two-horse race bewteen Estonia and Denmark (who would pull off a rare defence of the title... but it looks like Estonia will have it)

FOr a moment, it looks like we would have the amusing situation of Ireland striking out, but they have now scored. Iceland look like this years wooden spoon winners.

Ushgarak
Are the Swedes STILL in Abba mode?

You know the Frdnch refused to take part one year for the ridiculous reason that they thought the whole thing was a monument to poor-quality music? Odd people. That or geniuses... but they came back next year, so go figure.

Ushgarak
Asn predicted, Estonia won and Iceland come last with just one point.

Estonia? What the heck... they'll have to HOLD it there next year now... oh dear...

Edna_witch
Oh my god! You sad sad SAD individual! Its bad enough that you watch it religiously but to give running commentry is just far beyond the rhealms of obsession! So sad!

Edna_witch
Ush I always miss the ironic nature of everything! Remember? I'malways making myself look stupid because I dont see people's jokes! Thats what makes me me! So what did I miss this time? Please! Enlighten me!

Ushgarak
Look at the subtext of what I was saying at the start. It is clear that I hate the bloody thing as much as anyone. The whole thing was an amusement.

Edna_witch
Subtext Shmubtext! Do I ever look at subtext? NO! Do I even know what subtext is? NO! Big words again! Its all just big words!

Ushgarak
Subtext isn't very big! Marmalade is longer...

Edna_witch
Yes and Mike is an even smaller word with an unbelievably huge ego!

Ushgarak
For using the word 'subtext'? Blimey, you're the one who is going to be a Doctor, and there are plenty of NON-Latin derived long medical words...

razman
Wow, thanks Mike for the A-grade commentary....really made my day!

Ushgarak
I re-define the word 'quality'!

razman
THATS for sure!

Ushgarak
If you enjoyed this commentary, then plenty more are available on other events, like 'Crufts' and the 20001 intercontinental ant racing championships!

razman
I would love to hear your commentary on 'One Man and His Dog'....can't wait!

Ushgarak
And... the dog.... is coming towards the sheep now...

Edna_witch
How about some commentary on "Excuse my while I rip Ush's heart out!"!

Ushgarak
I feel somewhat less motivated for that...

razman
Could be interesting.

Ushgarak
In a certain perverse way, I guess.

Edna_witch
I would certainly be motivated for it right now! Especially if I dont find my damn name!

Ushgarak
Ho ho! They are going to be ages working out wht you mean by THAT...

Edna_witch
Yes well I have found it now and I think that was a real dirty trick you played. Just how long have you known my name?

Ushgarak
About an hour and a half, like I just told you... it was on a PUBLIC profile, it was hardly a dirty trick..

Edna_witch
Damn! I wish I had delted it! Then you would have never found it!

Ushgarak
Well, that IS logical, yeah...

Edna_witch
Yes well dont go snoopingaround there too much! Those people are weird! I would like to keep you normal please! Well as normal as you can possibly be!

Ushgarak
Can you CATCH weirdness? Scary. Rest assured I a. have no interest in hanging around there and b. will not end up REMOTELY like them.

Edna_witch
Good good good!

Ushgarak
Glad that's all sorted...

razman
So Edna...what is your real name?

Ushgarak
Subtle apporach, go for it...

Edna_witch
I ain't sayin! http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/contrib/ruinkai/biggrinyoyoA.gif

razman
Actually I'll think I'll be more subtle by starting a topic on this! big grin

Edna_witch
Oh wonderful! Now look whatyou have started USH! Thank you very much! Openyour topic! You'll get nothing out of me! USH you say a word and you will live to regret it! Thats not a threat! Thats a promise!

Ushgarak
Oh dear...

ratcat
What's the mystery here. We already have her name.

Edna_witch
Wrong you have half a name! In fact you have a third of a name! And you wont be getting the last pice of the puzzle I assure you! USH I'm serious! You sill a word and you are dead!

Ushgarak
Ok! I get it! rest aussred I will not tell ANYONE your surname!

queeq
Too late. evil face

Ushgarak
Kick me while I'm down eh? It won't wash; Eleanor knows I've told no-one.

queeq
OK, technically you haven't TOLD me. evil face

Ushgarak
ANd ACTUALLY I haven't as well.

queeq
Ehm.... no.

Oh, you're no fun anymore.

Ushgarak
Sheep trying to fly, eh?

queeq
Are they? Where?

Ushgarak
A clever sheep...

ratcat
Obsession? I think you were closer with Sad.

Ushgarak
I wasn't actually watching it; just nipped in and posted every so often what I saw on the screen... though in nay case, I can't help thinking you've missed the ironic nature of all this...

queeq
The type with a gun?

Ushgarak
No, that's MUTANT sheep... though what fool sold them guns?

queeq
Dunno. Not me.

Ushgarak
It's the leader of the Pennine Gang!

ratcat
Hey Look! There it goes, no gun though....

http://www.flyingsheep.com/images/flysheepd.gif

Ushgarak
They keep them well hidden

ratcat
Damn clever those sheep...

Ushgarak
There is very little more dangerous than a clever sheep...

ratcat
True.

queeq
Better watch yourself, I saw one sneeking around the place earlier.

ratcat
Yeah, Ush was following it and looking for her 3 friends.....

queeq
Poor Ush was lonely again, eh?

Ushgarak
I deny that...

queeq
Of course. wink

ratcat
We believe you Ush, really we do...

Edna_witch
You know Ush its ok to admit it! everyone has to find there little bit of satisfaction somwhere and if the sheep do it for you then who am I to stop you?

ratcat
Yeah, whatever yanks your chain matey!!! laughing out loud

finti
Flying sheep how about "Pigs on the wing" and just leave it with "Sheeps" then we already have half of the Pink Floyd album "Animals" smokin'

queeq
*starts singing: Ushy had a little lamb.*

finti
and everywhere Ushy went the lamb was sure to go. oh ushy ushy big grin

queeq
No, not anymore. Thanks.

ratcat
Suit yourself. Oooo look, 1000 and well off topic....

razman
We've still got 900 posts to meet THAT target.

OK, since RC is in one of his foul moods...closing topic.

ratcat
Anyone want Mint Sauce!!!

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