official episode 3 script!!!!

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Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

LanceWindu
Moving--Moved

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater
In an asteroid belt surrounding the planet Malastare, Mace Windu is hiding his damaged fighter from the prowling Trade Federation battleship. He fiddles with controls and talks to his Artoo unit.

Windu: "Right, now cut power to the engines by half, and increase the scramblers to double standard."

The Artoo beeps.

Windu: "Hah, I'd like to see those Neimoidian freaks find my ship now. So long as I don't send any signals..."

Anakin's fighter drops out of hyperspace right next to Windu's ship.

Anakin (over comlink): "Hey, Master Windu, what's going on? Why are you hiding under an asteroid."

Windu: "Anakin you stupid *******!"

A barrage of laser fire hammers both ships. Windu accelerates away instantly. Anakin panics, hits controls at random and accidentally rams Windu's ship.

Anakin: "Oops."

Anakin puts his ship into a dive, following Windu down towards the planet. The battleship stands off in orbit, and releases Count Dooku's sail-ship from its docking bay. Dooku follows Anakin.

On the surface, Windu's ship plummets out of the sky, ricochets off a mountain, ploughs through clouds of billowing green vapour, and crashes into a lake of nasty-looking goop. Windu punches open the cockpit and stands on top of the ship, looking around for something to hurt.

Windu: "Fifteen goddamned years on the Jedi Council, and when I get into trouble they send Anakin! I'm gonna fry that Yoda son of a *****!"

Anakin's ship descends through the clouds and makes an ungraceful landing next to Windu, splattering him with muck as it slams into the lake. Anakin climbs out.

Anakin: "Master Windu? What happened?"

Windu: "I'll tell you what happened you freaking moron! I was all fine and set, they couldn't have seen me if they'd trod on me, and then you show up and start yelling all over the com frequencies! Gee, I wonder how they found me, you dumb bastard!"

Anakin: "I was just trying to help-"

Windu: "Hey, why don't you piss off back to Coruscant and screw that girlfriend of yours or something! I'll live longer without your help!"

Anakin: "But, my commitment to the Jedi Order..."

Windu: "What, you think Jedi never get any? Yeah, that's the same bullshit they told me! Hell no! Yoda's got his squeeze on the Council, god help anyone who has to see that happen, I bet half the Knights in the galaxy are using Jedi Mind Tricks to score, and-"

Anakin looks betrayed, then petulant. At that moment, Count Dooku's ship sweeps down gracefully, and Dooku himself does a Jedi-leap from its embarkation ramp down onto Windu's ship. He activates his lightsaber and salutes Windu.

Dooku: "En garde, Master Windu. Your time has come."

Windu primes his lightsaber.

Windu: "Just the man I been looking for! I'm gonna kick your ass so far you won't be able to take a dump without a passport!"

Windu goes berserk at Dooku, slashing and hammering at him. Dooku defends, and is somewhat taken aback.

Dooku: "I expected more from you, Master Windu. Your reputation as a swordsman of nobility-"

Windu: "You gonna talk or fight, *******? I got some serious whoop-ass I've needed to vent all this week, and your ass is first in line!"

Anakin pulls a blaster pistol and aims it at Dooku.

Anakin: "I'll help you Master Windu!"

He fires, missing Dooku by miles and puncturing one of the cargo bays on Windu's fighter, which starts to fill with water. Windu stumbles as the ship begins to sink.

Windu: "God damn it you dumb f-"

Dooku goes on the offensive, fencing-style. Windu scrambles to his feet and defends himself.

Anakin: "Don't worry!"

Anakin shoots again, this time accidentally blasting Windu in the foot, knocking him to the deck. Dooku takes this opportunity to knock his lightsaber into the lake.

Windu: "Stop helping you stupid *******!"

Anakin: "Master, catch!"

Anakin throws his lightsaber to Windu, who is in the middle of scrambling backwards. The lightsaber knocks him on the head, concussing him.

Windu: "Ooh... dumb stupid little... moron..."

Dooku slices off Windu's head in one clean slash. Anakin takes one look at Dooku, then Force-summons his lightsaber and bolts back into his ship, which takes off and retreats as fast as its engines will go.



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Palpatine's office. A hologram of Dooku appears on the desk.

Dooku: "Master Sidious?"

Palpatine: "Who? Oh, right, that's me... yes, my pupil?"

Dooku: "I have eliminated Mace Windu, Master. And the young Jedi Anakin Skywalker was here."

Palpatine: "Really? Bonus. I trust he was not injured trying to aid Master Windu?"

Dooku: "Not... exactly, no. He took one look and ran for it."

Palpatine: "That's my boy. Return here at once. Soon we will turn Anakin to the dark side, and the Jedi Order will be destroyed!"

Dooku: "Are you sure the dark side wants him, master?"

Palpatine: "Just get your distinguished butt back here."

Dooku (long-suffering sigh): "Yes master."

The hologram disappears. Palpatine turns his chair around and begins throwing suction-cup-darts at a model of Alderaan in the corner of his office.



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Anakin's fighter arrives back at the Jedi Temple. Master Yoda meets him in the docking bay.

Yoda: "With you Master Windu is not?"

Anakin: "Erm... there was some trouble. Have you seen a short bounty hunter called Fett anywhere around? He was supposed to do something for me."

Yoda: "Seen him I have not."

Anakin: "Dammit. Now I'll have to kill Obi-Wan myself-"

Anakin becomes aware that Yoda is glaring at him. He shuts up.

Yoda: "What know you of Master Windu's fate?"

Anakin: "Oh, he was killed by that Dooku guy. You know, the one from Geonosis, with the deep voice?"

Yoda: "Dooku? Bad move for him that is. On list he will go."

Anakin: "What list?"

Yoda: "List of names I have. Dooku's name now on list."

Anakin: "Okay... I guess that's good."

Yoda: "Accomplished Jedi Master Windu was. How did Count Dooku defeat him?"

Anakin: "Um... just lucky, I guess?"

Yoda (JMT hand motion): "Get him killed accidentally, you did?"

Anakin (zombie): "Yes... (wakes up) Dammit! Why does everyone keep doing that to me?"

Yoda: "Incompetent Jedi are you. Qui-Gon's ass would I kick, if here he were."

Anakin: "Oh yeah? Well screw you! I don't need your stupid Jedi stuff anyway! I'm leaving the Temple forever!"

Anakin storms out. Yoda watches him go.

Yoda: "Waited ten years for that, I have."

......

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater

Darth Hater
laughing out loud rolling on floor laughing laughing out loud rolling on floor laughing reading blink reading

Alias Neo
great story big grin reading

SpikeSpiegel
lol that should be the real episode 3

Captain REX
laughing out loud

I'll put a note at the top.

Captain REX
You get some praise in the that note, by the way. Mace Windu acting like Samuel L. Jackson usually does in his films makes me laugh. laughing out loud

Darth Hater
Mace Windu acting like Samuel L. Jackson usually does in his films makes me laugh.


ROFL!!!!!

i thought that was soooo hilarious!!! rolling on floor laughing laughing out loud

Evil Windu
Dumb, that was...

Darth Hater
no sense of humor you have

Captain REX
I thought the Mace Windu parts were the funniest. Everything else seemed kinda dull...

Darth Hater
all of that was hilarious

Captain REX
I love being mod. It appears like you never called me a mo fo... stick out tongue

Darth Hater
haha,man,thanx for ruining my samual jackson impression

Darth Hater
all of that sh** was hilarious mutha f***** laughing out loud laughing out loud

Lucas Sucks!
how can someone waste so many time writing that out... anyways.... it has better lines than E1 and 2 together....

BackFire349
its not wasting time, they are doing what they love.

Darth Hater
how can someone waste so many time writing that out... anyways.... it has better lines than E1 and 2 together....


to answer your question

very easy:

copy and paste

thanx to chris cook who wrote the script

Captain REX
Ah, not your own then...

Still, somebody wrote it. wink

Darth Hater
laughing out loud

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.