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1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America...do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

lol, ive read some of t hose before, good stuff.

The title made me think of that country song, now its stuck in my head.. *spasms on the floor, foaming at the mouth*

I made a crappy song gets stuck in your head!!!

yay! *claps*

ITS FUNNY CUZ ITS TRUE!!! BAH HA HA HA

Good one. Got any more?

Not at the moment Celsius.

Yeah I've wondered why there's braille on drive up ATM's and I haven't noticed the Hot Dog and Bun thing until I saw one of the Father of the Bride movies, can't remember if it was 1 or 2.

i hate to say it, but i hate america.

what?! you hate america how this place rocks

I gots family in Los Angeles, They try ta Con me into coming over for a Holiday.

America Scares Meh...

sorry, but i cant stand how we are always globehopping sticking our noses where it doesnt belong...example: vietnam.

Maybe I can get you to come out here for a vacation.

You can stay with me.

Dudes, I could make up more of those jokes if I wanted to. America is great. A great place to live and a great place to make fun of. Especially if you live in California like me.

Go ahead and come up with more TH.

Yeah, but RJ, that's those guys. That's not us. You are a jedi for example. I am a news camera man. We together can laugh and love our great nation.

ok...i dont hate it, i just dont understand the need to flex our muscles constantly.

I'm glad I'm not in politics in any way.

okay I am leaving this alone *leaves*

America is the only place where you can watch a pizza delivery training video: They'll teach you how to drive safe. They'll teach you how to handle your money, maintain your car, customer service satisfaction . . .

But what they won't teach you is how to dodge a Marina crack whore whose riding a bike down Broadway at 11am on a Friday night.

yeah, i hate crackwhores.

Especially when they have mustaches and constantly scratch the genital warts.

America is the only place where you can buy meat in any ten mile radius.

America is the only place where you can get laid by a priest.

america is the only place where kids shoot up their high schools.

That happens in other places RJ.

i knew that.

Only in america can you live in Texas.

* Hides under Windy's blanket from the big scary America *

Ok then, I will just have to come live with you.

Okie dokie n.n

are we talking about north america, south america or central america?

Whatever, Nivvy. At least in America we don't have Orcs and evil Rings that bind elves and dwarves and stuff. At least we don't have Sauron. Psh. Big scary New Zealand can keep it's Mordor.

I think were talking about the movie, "once upon a time in america."

I'd like to live in Mordor, as long as I have Niv with me.

orcs? please...gimmee an ak47 and ill taking on a whole gang of them!!!!!!

We also have little Blonde Elves, and Swamps full of dead Soldiers. Not to mention lots and lots of Wind, that Conviniently blows locks of blonde hair in our faces.

There aren't any AK47's in Middle Earth. Only rocks and sticks and stuff.

When will I get to come out there?

whatever....a lightsaber would do the trick

None of them either. Just sticks.

ok, fine...give me a torch and i would bend over, let one fly and roast them alive.

When you move in with me !!

me? with you?

:blinks:

She was talking about me RJ.

good....i was hoping so...*wipes perspiration from brow, offers thanks to the gods*

Whoa RJ! You have a way with women. Pimp.

Oh, wait.

Yeah, like Niv would want him...

I think she was talking to RJ.

Umm yeah.

whatever....dont hate me cuz i am beautiful......you the man, th!!!!!!!

* Shakes head * Tsk tsk.... I have no idea Rj and Th....

You two would be good to move in with eachother.

They could make a good party home!

I mean, come on, RJ's got a big saber and all. If I were a chick . . . Doh!!!!http://www.killermovies.com/forums/images/moresmilies/homer.gif

just kidding rj, JUST KIDDING RJ, SETTLE DOWN!!

man...somebody needs a reality break...not you, th.

You guys would throw the best keggers.

I see, He must use the Schwartz....

I could picture LanceWindu and Nivvey's kids, they'd look part Samuel Jackson and part the letter 'N'. Okay, that was lame.

Very

nah, it was funny!!!!! tell us more!!!!!!!

*boos TH off stage*

* Snores loudly from amidst the silence *

th is in rare form tonight...keep it up!!!!!!!

but yes, we would throw the best keggers, hypothetically. . . like say we were roomies, not boyfreinds. Me and RJ would rake in the ladies. We'd bring Backfire over and maybe DeNiro if he promises to shower after his work out. We'd have the pimp pad. Chicks would swarm.

dont forget the kitty...thats like talking about seinfeld without elaine.

Elaine sucked!!!

of course, BKK would be there all the time with her hot friends. And people would think that all we do is hang out and have sex with these hot chicks like bkk and her friends. But really, were chatting and having intellectual conversations. And then maybe a little nookie, but that's very adult and very professional and well supervised, so it's not like we're breaking any laws. Meanwhile, Lance and Nivvy are eating cake with the kids.

Poor TH and his Dillusional Thoughts......

* Leaves him to it *

No kids, not yet anyways.

kiss my grits!

couldnt we let them have just one beer, th? even though they are barely old enough to vote? or are they?

I'm not saying you do.

Just you could be like Phoebe on Friends.

no th is right,my friends are hot,and want to party with hot guys like th and rj,so its on..

you have to be 18 to enter, so nite nite, kiddies...romper room is 3 doors down, on the left.

I can vote, I just choose not to.

So you basically choose not to vote to hang out with a bunch of hotties and two other cool dudes? Well, I was about to give you a sip. Oh well.

give him some juice and tell him a beddie time story.

And i can't be arsed.

Do I have to read 'goodnight moon' agian?

Damn, what are you saying, arse?

arse means ass.

arsed, is that elvish?

arse=woo whoo!

Like eat my arse?

I know, I've used arse many times to replace as*.

Yes Th

Yeah, so go eat arse.

Okay, you two are cool. You'd make a cute couple.

I knew that.

kiss my arse.

Arse on everything

not on my pizza.

Your arse on me?

mine or hers?

Hold the arse on my pizza, laddy.

Hers

Erm.... Mine.

You like to sit on me don't ya babe?

Plus

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/images/moresmilies/naughty.gif

uh oh....lance....keep it in your pants man..

It is, don't worry.

I'll warn everyone before doing that.

in america, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women

no, I think it's, first you get the job, then you get the khakis, then you get the girl.

well if you have khakis then im yours

I've got oodles of khakis.

then im yours

oooo baby!

teehee

Ooops, your too young. But in a few years you and me will go khaki shopping.

yay i love khakis but the atre ne age restrictions on the net

so, what are you trying to say?

well the are no age restrictions on the net was my point

and . . . so . .?

well you do the workin out

I couldn't.

couldnt wot do the workin

you devil

well i try

bump

Why not...the USA is great

"We're all living in amerika, amerika, ist wunderbar!"
Sorry, Im listening to Rammstein and this is an america thread so. YIPPE

Originally posted by Bardock42
Why not...the USA is great it sounds scary cry

Err...yes well.....Rammstein is scary

But the US is cool...I want to go back there cry

Rammstein kicks ass

Originally posted by Bardock42
Err...yes well.....Rammstein is scary

But the US is cool...I want to go back there cry i've never been there..but i'm not sure if i'd like to

You should...............its good

haha look at that rhyme

anyway wel rammstein....is...well...you know

Originally posted by Clovie
i've never been there..but i'm not sure if i'd like to

Visit us one day, you will find we are really boring over here.

well than you will probably not go there, right?

right..
but i have to pay i think 100$ for an application..:s and if they say agree...

i prefer to buy some clothes or shoes

well yes if you don't want to go there that is of courdse a whole differnt story

Rammstein is....what?
They're the one and only kickass German Pop band.

i wrote something wrong in previous post

anyway..
i mean that i don't know if they let me go or not..


and i'm scared anyway

it is so far away cry

not really...you know whats far away? Beetelguse is far away


Since when is Rammstein a german Pop Band

Originally posted by Bardock42
not really...you know whats far away? Beetelguse is far away


Since when is Rammstein a german Pop Band

Yeah, I thought they were a German Metal Band. Correct me if I'm wrong.

i wouldn't call it POP


beetlejuice beetlejuice BEETLEJUICE

me neither

but I meant the star you know Betelgeuse

what star?

the star.......well its a star you know far away

but i wanna know details...like what is this star called in polish

hmm I dunno...maybe Betelgeuse? its in orion I think

betelgeza i've never heard of it

well I know of it bnecause Ford Prefect is from a planet near there.

who is ford prefect?

A guy from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy