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Got a customer coming to town today and I'll have to take him out on the lash tonight. Last time we went out we went round for round all night and I was shteamin' while he was as jober as a sudge. (He's gotta have a good two stone on me and drinks like a fish)

Also my missus is away for the weekend so I've made big plans for some serious sessions.

Now, I'm no genius but I've got a sneaking feeling I'm gonna have to start pacing myself or using some drinking stategy, anyone got any?

Fish dont drink they filtrate.
Drink slow. Eat well before you start drinking, maybe take a nap before you all meet up. Order soda/coffee in between the alcoholic beverages. Or you can do like me, dont give a flying f..k and just get plaster, but then again I`m Norwegian and can take a lot of booze. We got real beer here in Europe

Drink soda or coffee!!!!!!

He's a northener, if I even mention soft drinks I'll never have a purchase order or respect from him again!

then you just have to drink slower,than him. This sounds more like he is into a drinking contest more than a client meeting. if you have to buy the rounds all the time you should have full control, remember to eat well some hours before you start drinking. This way you can take more booze, you are the only one to know your limit take it easy and stay away from the shots!!!!!!
Good luck

Drink some whole milk before you go out boozing. The milkfat coats your stomach and you can carry a bigger load of booze streaming through your stomach. good luck. and please do drive since you'll be drinking.

Ohhh dear god. Got in at half three this morning and got into work for half seven. The only bonus is I'm still drunk so I don't feel ill yet. I stink of beer though, it's always a bad sign when you can smell the alcohol on yourself!

I didn't buy the drinks all night, we went in rounds but petty cash was paying for mine so its not too bad. Got some more work to quote for the fella, so its all worth it in the end, although what good is a higher turnover when you've got liver failure.

11:34 a.m. MOGGY UPDATE

Feeling quite ill now as I'm into the full hangover. Need love or hugs. Must get some slee....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

MOGGY, hang in there. my posty didn't come out right above. It was supposed to say don't drive if you are drinking.

drats hangovers are evil.

Actually buttermilk coats the stomach best. If you can stomach it. Thats what Batman drank when he knew he was going to be poisoned.

Or just drink really fast. Get as drunk as possible as fast as possible until you feel sick and then throw it all back up again. You sober up pretty quick trust me. And then you can get started all over again! And the beauty of throwing it all up is you don't get a hangover. Or maybe that is just me! Bloody kills your throat though! I suggest you don't do it often or the acid from your stomach begins to kill the epithelial cells lining your asophagous. And trust me when I say that is not a good thing!

You make it sound SO beautiful, Edna...

Yeah well I am young and still a relative learner on the alcohol abuse scale but I have learned fast! I thank my dodgy school friends for that!

Well, you know more than I do...

That makes a refreshing change!

Was that some sort of alcohol advert pun?

Hmmm another of my nonamusing statements that turned out funny. I must stop doing that!

You have quite a talent for it.

strange I couldn't crack a joke if i tried!

You tried hard enough with the dead baby jokes.

But they weren't funny. They were just sick! Anyone can be sick! besides they werent my jokes.

Very few jokes that anyone tells are their own, really...

Except my accidental ones!

See? You have a gift you were unaware of...

Yes well i would rather have a normal talent thank you!

You have plenty of talent...

Oh yeah? Name one! And academia doesn't count!

Why not?

But charm, then.

I am not charming!

Then you have a gift for deception. One way or another...

Sneaky! I like it! You win!

Woo-hoo!

yes, Gundy, buttermilk is the best, but because it is such a unique product, wasn't too sure of moggy could handle it.

OK its Saturday morning and time for.... CRACKERJACK! Well no actually its work but hey I finish at one and I'm back down the pub for round two of this big weekender.

Sunday afternoon is a 1st b'day party for my cousins nipper. A little bit of a come down one might think, but lets just say all the men in her fellas family have bulbous red noses!

I'll give one guess at how they all achieve this feat. See you all Monday to tell any amusing stories or jokes.

Have fun; stay safe.

Rudolph has a red nose

yes, finti, how do you think he's got the sense of direction he has, to fly in the sky. I mean, only certain inebriated creatures can fly in the sky.

Mech, may I suggest moderation ?

Yes, Mech, good stewardship of your liver, called balance, not too much, not too little, but just right.

drinkomania!!!! Monika is of to her parents again this weekend so 16:00 on Saturday I am off work and into my first of loads of beers....."99 bottels of beer on the wall"

Finti, please, just don't drink and drive. If you're going to tank one on, please use a taxi or have a friend tote you around. Don't forget to drink your buttermilk first, to protect your tummy insides.

Drink and drive? not in Norway You get, if caught, two years suspension on your license, one months wage in fine(regardles what you earn, the more the biiger the fine) then you get to spend three weeks in jail. So in fact you looses almost two months pay. This is not the reason why I dont drink and drive. You are a treath to other peoples lives if you drink and drive this is not an opption for me.

wow, such strict laws!!! Do they enforce the law there? some places have laws, but are kinda lax in enforcing them.

They look very serious on drinking and driving in Norway and they do enforce the laws. The police are always out on controls during weekends and holidays like easter and christmas.
I dont think the laws are strict enough in Norway though, maybe for drunk drivers.
We had this case were two girls, 10 & 8 years, were raped and murdered by two friends on 20&21. They got convicted to maximum punishment; 21 years in prison with 10 years safety afterwards. Such a shame

What's "10 years safety", finti ?

You are under observation and are not allowed to move freely around the country. If you want to travell to a different city you have to apply so action can be taken for the observation. More like parole I think

Yes it is like parole. Safety just sounds too nice of a word though.

Keep those two alive is to nice

Throw em' in the chair and hit the switch.

cannot post my thoughts in public; I would be banned.

Sorry, massively against the death penalty regardless of cirsumstance.

Yeah, I mean it is such a good idea to keep murderers locked up at the expence of the tax payer.

I know there is the arguement that some people are proven innocent after they have gone to the chair and stuff but if there is no shadow of doubt then I say rack em and zap em!

Watches can of worms spill out all over the place.

I go with that

And I see you've opened the deluxe can at that.

Actually I think the punishment should fit the crime. eye for eye. But that'll never happen. Not until the dawn of the Mad Max age.

Consideration of innocence is not my view. People like my parents fought hard to get the death penalty removed purely on the point that it was wrong, not that convictions might be mistaken (which is still always a possbility). Judicial murder is still murder; we still have no right to say that they cannot live no matter what they have done- EVERYONE has the right to life, even the most hardened and vicious and evil criminal. And much as I don't like the taxpayer having to pay for keeping them locked up I hardly think killing them off to save that is any way to behave.

All the death penalty does is show that we can kill as well. I refuse to go to their level and I am proud that it is virtually extinct in Europe.

RC, I understand it costs $44,000 USD a year to house a regular convict in prison. Twice the amount if a higher security risk, or on death row.

I wish Norway got death penalty back, the crime rate would drop like well drop.

OMG !!!! Edna & Ush are agreeing on something. She truly is magical !!!!!!!!

I also understand, Keo, that the lengthy appelas system and other time spent in court jacks up the cost of an executed prisoner an enormous amount.

Even if it was cheaper, so few ever face the death sentence that any savings made would be the tiniest, tiniest fraction.

As it is, I think (and I seem to remember that most States agree) that the Death penalty costs money.

Most of my info here is based on a BBC documentary from a few months back.

Thanks, Edna.

Well even if they are murderers then I don't believe we have the right to decide when their life should end. If we do, then in effect we are just as bad as the murderers themselves. Nope anti-death penalty, me! Have to agree with Ush on this one.

Right, Ush; our appeals system goes for years and years, and drives the costs higher.

Yes..true to the American way..

Take this example.

A man walks into a store with a 12 gauge, shoots the shopkeeper in the side of the cranium at zero distance with both barrels, killing him instantly. Picks up a packet of cigarettes and walks to the door having been witnessed by 10 upstanding citizens including the mayor and the chief of police. (assume for a minute they are not corrupt.) This is all caught on camera from multiple angles.

He is arrested at the door and taken to jail where he freely admits the crime in front of his lawyer.

Should this man get the chair?

No

What would that solve?

closure.
pays his dues for the life taken.
one less for the taxpayer to support in luxury, while the innocent impoverished homeless starve on the street.

He committed the crime yes so he should be punnished. But we cannot play god and say when he should die. It just isn't right!

You take his life and I dislike you just as much as him. The idea that taking someone's life could solve anything is abhorrent. It won't give true closure; it will only give revenge, which is no basis for justice. Saying a life for a life is dues is just bas bad as murder; his dues is to be removed from society, not to be killed by people thinking they are morally superior! And the financial issue is a complete red herring. Not only would it be more expensive to kill him, not only are the sums of money involved in the tiny fraction of death sentendce negiligible, but to say we should kill him simply to save money is utterly wrong! You pay for prisons; it is one of the costs of justice. You don't discard that route just to make you feel better.

What was that saying again? "We kill to show that killing is wrong"?

YUP

If you kill someone and it`s not self defence you dont earn the right to live. Why should they be locked up in a cell and be a burdon to tax payer. I say fry them, next case please.

I certainly hope you don't get wrongly accused someday and get that sentence you just issued.