Beardi and Barbers - you know you love it
Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.
queeq
Just see this as the continuation of the Barbershop...
Gundark
Which was actually on-topic from time to time.
queeq
Of course, but due to the enormous success and the failure of this board's technical capacities to comply with our needs, we had to move.
So, about shaving, Gundy....
Gundark
I shave every day.
Breetai
Yes, where, Gundark? Inquiring minds want to know.
I shave my beard down to a goatee every couple weeks. I kinda like how my full beard grows in the interim.
So, shall we continue our ESB Family Reunion discussion now that we can actually see each other's posts?
queeq
Sure, go ahead. But I have an embarassing question, Breetai. I'm under the impression you're TF.N Beardi as well, but I can't remember you by this user name... Did you use another over there, if so, please tell.
Breetai
I am the one known as Darth_Dolza, my friend...
queeq
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, YESSSSSSSSSS.
My illustrious brother, DD. Well, another DD. There's a user called Darth Daft who hasn't poset in a long time, we'd call him DD as well. You might be the new one. Sorry for not recognizing you dude.
Breetai
No problem at all, ol' buddy.
So, I guess we all recognize Vader as the Hibachi King and that Palpy fries his chicken by arc-welding. Anything else?
queeq
Do you think a lightsabre could be use as a BBQ spit? Or would the meat be cut in two? Cos' you could have this great Jedi cook out and everyone could bring their own spits.
Too bad they BBQed Beru, it looked like she could make an excellent salad.
Gundark
Legs and underarms. Can't stand stubble. Drives me nuts. I don't have a goatee to shave, thank the maker. The rest is top secret information, and if I told you I'd have to kill you.
And yes, salads were Beru's specialty. And scrambled eggs of course.
queeq
The rest...?????? Come on, tell us. We won't tell. What shapes do you do?
Breetai
A lightsaber won't work as a spit, I'm afraid. That's an accident waiting to happen:
anonymous Jedi 1 (points to meat on a lightsaber) : Hey, buddy, come try this tasty shishkebob!
anonymous Jedi 2 (leans over meat): Shishkebob, huh? Where's the stick?
anonymous Jedi 1 (slaps his head): Oh. Forgot to turn it on...
ignites saber, which impales both the meat and his friend's head
That's how Palpy started the Purge...
queeq
I thought if you can impale someone, you can use it for a BBQ.
So when is the Jedi cook out? At the end of Episode 2 during the wedding or in Ep3?
Breetai
The Bible says "For a piece of bread, a man will transgress"; the Jedi were apparently succeptible to really good barbeque...
queeq
I'm sure that's where Mace dies. I'm sure he'd go for some chicken.
keokiswahine
Hey, Bree, how are you tonight.
Queeq, our beloved barber shop closed down. *sigh*
New store signs just aren't quite the same.
But I'm glad we're all here together.
Dim
*sighs*
Speaking of hair..I wish mine would hurry up and grow some more..
finti
Drink more beer Dim its good for the hair
cant remember what the bad parts were but it cant be important.
ratcat
UM, I think that only works if you wash you hair with beer. Drinking it just makes you think your hairs OK.
finti
works either way though
queeq
Beer - the medicine of the 21st century, due to great success in the previous centuries.
Gundark
Well jello will make you hair grow too. I mean JELLY for you brits.
keokiswahine
If you eat the jello/jelly. Gelatin is protein and protein will aid in hair growth. But extra B complex vitamins should do it, too.
finti
As it is in beer
Breetai
I never thought of beer as hair tonic before...
Gundark
I've had it in my hair already.
My lawyer has advised me not to comment on this any further.
Breetai
I don't think I wanna know the story behind that one...
Gundark
oh, it was just a silly little party queeq and I had in the closet....
Breetai
I guess one thing led to another, huh?
And next thing you knew...
Gundark
.....I was facing Anakin on what was decidedly unstable ground. The heat from the lava was so intense, it seared my beard and the ends of my hair. The rock beneath my feet shook and trembled as did the lightsaber clenched in my fist. Anakin stared at me with wild eyes, eyes filled with hate and rage and deception. The air was unbearably hot and it burned my lungs as I breathed, hard.......
Breetai
... and Anakin told you that he couldn't deny what he felt; he had to follow the Dark Side. "The pull of Palpatine's fried chicken is to great for me. Why can't you accept that?!?!"
Anakin leapt forward, his lightsaber blazing...
Dim
Hmmm..okay.
Anyway..I've been taking some prenatal vitamins to get my hair to grow..Not that I'm wanting to get pregnant or anything..I just picked them up at the grocery store on accident thinking that they were regualar vitamins. I figured..what the hell.
ratcat
Okaaaayyyyy........
keokiswahine
pre-natal vitamins are the best hair growing vitamins.
queeq
There must be a lot of that subconscious desire thing going on here.
Shoeless Jedi
hmmm....new home....I tell ya, us beardis are a regular band of nomads. We just pick up and go like a buncha champs! Oh, and very cool to see Dolza round there's parts, how ya doin man?!
queeq
It's not really a new home. It's just a continuation of the old one. After some 600 posts a thread in these parts turns funny. That's why we have to start a new thread. That's all.
Shoeless Jedi
I gottcha, but ya still gotta admit we're quite good at hoppin around from thread to thread like it ain't nobody's business!
queeq
Well, around here that's just the curse of being successful. Hope that brings warm feelings for your beard.
Gundark
Dim, did you like get your hair cut short and hate it or are you just on a grow your hair thing ?
queeq
And what kind of conditioner do you use? Shampoo? How often do you wash your hair? And why? And blablabla...
Gundark
queeq darling, stop pretending to be a girl...we can see right through you.
finti
and we can see the bra and g string.
Breetai
Hmm... you think you know a guy, and then something like this happens... queeq, what's up?
Ushgarak
See, conversations like this are why Beardis have a bad rep...
Shoeless Jedi
bad rep? Who says?! I'll murdelize 'em!
Breetai
I liked those outfits that PK and Teniel used to wear...
//waxes nostalgic
keokiswahine
oh, you remember, Bree. Well, another satisfied customer from the cantina.
queeq
*sigh* Subtle sarcasm isn't appreciated anymore...
Yes, those outfits were great. And very economical as well, not much fabric needed.
Breetai
Well, yeah. The old maxim "less is more" is applicable in this case.
Ushgarak
But not with hair, right?
queeq
Only with hair, but not on our women.
keokiswahine
unless a female wookiee
Shoeless Jedi
agreed. I hate my wookiee women shaven
Shoeless Jedi
Really? I thought they only became naked when they took their bandoliers off
keokiswahine
ok, back to our hairy wookiees. *gets out Lady Dim's hair conditioner for next wookiee client, and the hair brushes*
Queeqer, you're better at this than me. Sharpen your hair shears to give Chewie a nice trim so he won't be so raggy looking, please.
Dim
Yes..only more is more with the beardi.
Shoeless Jedi
Careful there Queeq, don't wanna get your limbs pulled off!
So'd u guys know me and Chewie are distantly related? On my mother's side of course (for those unfamiliar with my wookiee lineage).
keokiswahine
*hands Shoe a conditioner spritz bottle and a brush for his fuzzy limbs*
queeq
Then you should do it, Shoe. I kinda like my limbs.
Gundark
(brings in giant hedge clippers) let me at those ewoks.....let me at em!!!!!
keokiswahine
oh, dear, mayhem is running amok again, this time with giant hedge clippers. Shears will do just well, dahling...
Gundark
but giant hedge clippers are....quicker.
queeq
Bald Ewoks? Now there must be a law against that...
Gundark
Oooops ! Took that one's head clean off. Oh well, just one less for Ush to take care of. Hehehe.
Breetai
Yeah. You'll start getting calls from the Health Department. They'll revoke our license and we'll all be out on the street...
Gundark
No worries. I've got the health department in my back pocket. How else do you think I keep my monster lab going ?
queeq
By MAKING their employees?
keokiswahine
the clone mistress, herself.
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. my ewoks.
*carefully wraps ewok parts in a bundle and carries out to swoop to return to the forest for burial ceremonies*
queeq
Why bother? Just chuck 'm on the BBQ here. they'll have a ceremonial burial and we'll have a great dinner.
keokiswahine
queeq, burnt fur is not exactly my idea of a scrumtious BBQ.
Ratcat
Well you can skin it first.
queeq
If you like...
queeq
Will you please clean up the mess. Blood puddles are not good for business.
Gundark
Actually I prefer skinless, boneless, while you're at it.
Breetai
There's hundreds of ways to cook Ewok. There's boiled Ewok, fried Ewok, sauteed Ewok...
Edna_witch
Nnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Ushgarak
Face it, Edna, they are vermin.
Edna_witch
No no no no no!
Ushgarak
Look, they eat PEOPLE in honour of their Gods! Things like that have to be hunted for our safety, like lions!
queeq
We shoot them, we eat them. Our gods are stronger. They'll understand.
Gundark
But do they eat each other ?
queeq
We'll eat them first.
Breetai
... filleted Ewok, Ewok stir fry, pickled Ewok...
Gundark
That's the amsterdamned version of yum yum, finti.
I figure Breetai will get to the end of that list by, say, September.
Breetai
Yup, just like the guy in Forrest Gump.
... Ewok over easy, Ewok kabob, roast Ewok, Ewok stew...
queeq
I'm sure the Gremlins said "yam yam" and not "yum yum".
Gundark
Okay....I got it. You following along here, finti ?
keokiswahine
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh; leave my furry babies alone. *picks fleas off baby ewok and sticks them on queeq*
Breetai
... there's broiled Ewok, charred Ewok, Ewoks-in-blankets, Ewok parmigiana...
Gundark
Ewoks-in-blankets, good one !!!
queeq has fleas ??????
Get the heck out of the closet !!!!! (starts putting out flea powder).
finti
yam yam????????
Breetai
Maybe "fleas in your fleece"?
keokiswahine
yes, it's fleas in his fleece. *sprinkles flea powder all over queeqie.
queeq
I have no fleece.
Breetai
Use the Fleece, queeq!
queeq
*switches off scratching computer*
keokiswahine
queeq, your computer has an itch
queeq
Not anymore. I'm allright.
Gundark
(best Vader voice) The fleece is strong with this one.
queeq
I'm going to scratch on manual.
ratcat
This is rather worrisome...
Gundark
I can't wait til we get to the part with the big bang.
queeq
What happens at "bang"!
Gundark
We go back to Yavin for the big party. And I'm gonna give you a medal.
queeq
When we're alone or with all those people watching?
Gundark
With everybody watching. Then they'll all clap at the end.
finti
todays task done then.
and Breetai do you really work for the Skin Trade
Breetai
No, finti, though I do love that song.
queeq
Oh, we'll have an applause. Nice. I deserve it.
finti
"Say Da da da da, tell me yes and lets start a fire"- some no good russian hard rock band
Breetai
What, pray tell, would they be applauding, huh? One would think they'd be otherwise engaged...
Gundark
They would be applauding for......um......the........big bang. Of course.
queeq
*blush* Nobody's ever called me that before...
finti
well big bang, short and awsome but thats it!!
Breetai
*raises eyebrow*
Now there's some wholesome discussion...
Ushgarak
This is another one of those bad reputation Beardi convos, yeah?
Breetai
//whistles innocently
Ushgarak
Only guilty people whistle innocently!
Ushgarak
None!
(Falls into big pit)
queeq
How perceptive, Ush. There is no fooling you, is there?
keokiswahine
Breeeeeeeeee
*into the pit you go with Ush*
queeq
*nudges Keo causing her to fall in as well*
Have fun down there!
keokiswahine
*grabs queeqer's arm, and we both fall in, too*
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
queeq
*queeq's arm was fake - demonic laughter*
Ushgarak
Great, now everyone is on top of me...
Breetai
I'd rather not be, thank you very much...
//Force-leaps out of pit
<< THERE IS MORE FROM THIS THREAD HERE >>
Copyright 1999-2024 KillerMovies.