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The following are real school excuses, explaining the reason behind the absence of students. Enjoy! :-)

12. Please excuse my son for being absent yesterday, because there is a river in our house.

11. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

10. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

9. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

8. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

6. Chris will not be in shcool cus he has an acre in his side.

5. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

4. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrheea and his boots leak.

3. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we fouind it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

2. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

and last but not least...

1. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot!

LL

lol

I have one for late for class... too good... never got me a lte marked down.. cause funny. "I am not late, I am just early for the next class" well not THAT funny, but I never got a late for it.

thats cute

the best excuse in da book in my old skewl was"I had to work on the farm" but i've only gone to my new skewl for 4 daze so i don't know. my stupid friend tried to write and excuse and had it down until the teacher read that he had spelt his mom's name wrong

Damn were you bored back when?

Are you bored now?

What's it to you?

I am bored.

I might get a blt for lunch

I bought a breakfast burrito from the 50/50 mexican place and I already have a stomach ache before eating it

wish me luck

50/50 mexican place? haermm

50% chance of being the best thing eer
50% of food poisoning

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the latter

I didn't ask you

When has that ever stopped me?

wow what a rebel

Too tight you are

she's alert she's open minded she's involved

Mangina

I don't know why I bother watching wrestling anymore

neither do I

tonight's been ok

you are gaysexual

eat dick

you eat dick

no you eat dick

i heard dick eating

what have i missed