Things Not To Say On A First Date

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silver_tears
What NOT to Say on a First Date ...

by Liam McEneaney

8. I used to have a real bad bedwetting problem ... but the last couple of weeks I've gotten it under control.


7. I know we just met and this might seem a little sudden ... but could I borrow two thousand dollars?

6. Go ahead and Super Size - I found spare change in the sofa today.

5. Something tells me that you're very special ... but with medication I can usually ignore it.

4. I don't see my ex-girlfriend that much ... thanks to the U.S. Department of Justice.


3. Do you want to play doctor? That'll be five hundred dollars.

2. Wait till my wife hears about this!


and last but not least...

1. I had a good time tonight. I'd love to see you again in six to eight months with good behavior!

h0ck3yh0rr0r
silver tears you have alot of things to say today smile lol

silver_tears
im a little hyper again http://www.killermovies.com/forums/images/moresmilies/Jumpy.gif

badkittykitty
I went on a blind date from hell once,we went to dinner then he drove me to his ex's so I can meet his twins when I told him to take me home because this was getting to serious for me he cried,it was awful!

silver_tears
confused eek

badkittykitty
..I never went on a blind date again..*shudders*

LanceWindu
...So you wanna get this date started or just go straight to the bed?

badkittykitty
hey if you were billy zane that would work on me wink stick out tongue

LanceWindu
*take the girl home*

And this is my complete collection of My Little Pony Figures...

badkittykitty
okay if you said that even as billy zane Im walking

Celsius
blink

silver_tears
have u met my extended family yet messed

silver_tears
There are LOTS of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...

"I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired."

"I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you."

"I used to come here all the time with my ex."

"Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour."

"I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look."

"And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest."

"I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask."

"It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am."

"I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

silver_tears
here are some signs of a bad date..........

Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date
her mother.

...You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little
league with her.

...She has a thicker moustache than you.

...When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions.

...You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.

...Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system.

...You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin.

...At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.

...She beats up some guy for making fun of your hair cut.

...You wake up the next morning with a wicked hang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno.

...At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.

...She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet satan.

...She constantly complains that her cat won't stop laughing at her.

...She informs you that you can't go out again because her spirit guide doesn't like you.

...She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you.

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