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Let's get down to brass taxes here. Who are you people? (Lance, what's up?)

I've got a vodka drink in front of me, and I've got some time to chat. So, talk it up suckers!!!!!

Where did all of you come from?

(hugs To again)

To! Damn its good to see you again chum. I didnt know you stopped drinking...

You haven't met TO, Kes?

To, you haven't met KES???

That is NOT allowed! Meet! Now!

no pressure, eh ush?

None. Except they must or I ban them.

sounds fair.

(hugs Ush)

Nice to meet you Kes. (hugs Kes). Oops, hope I didn't overstep my bounds. I'm just so excited to be back.

Backfire, I didn't stop drinking, you goof. Remember who you're talking to here.

*hugs*

ah, i shoulda known, its been so long, i guess my mind slipped when it came to your love of booze.

Oooh! More hugging please!

(hugs Kes)

(slaps BF's ass)

*squeels*

*Grabs a wet towel* come here ush.....

Kinky.

What's everyone been up to?

Kes, what's your story?

To! Nice to see you again man!

BTRW I finally quit smoking!

she's a spy from IMDB.com, she's trying to destroy the competition of that site. so she became a mod here, and is bringing the site down from the inside *touches nose with index finger two times, a'la homer simpson*

Kes is the lovliest lovely from lovely town, that is her story

(runs from BF)

BTW, try and get Kes in on the ass-slapping game...

*turns to kes with the wet towel* i really shine smacking a girls ass...come here lil miss imdb.

*giggles like a school girl*

I miss you bastards. It's so good here again.

*slaps everyone's ass, then runs away*

it's good to have ya back, you should start coming on more often.

I wondered why Kes kept putting up imdb links in her area...

yeah, i figured it out all by myself, its now an inside joke between me and her

Ok, ass slapping time, Kes! That is your penance.

*smacks kes's ass with the wet towel*

*smacks my own ass with a wet towl*

Wow, did anyone else see that? How did I do that?

Good weighting with the towel.

*dusts off, then fires up the very old ToMacco Slapping Machine*

I saw it

*stares in amazment....* that was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen...

That about sumes it up.



*grabs Bfs ass*

Oooh! Can I have a go!

(slaps Kes's ass)

*jumps* wow....no ones ever dared grabbed my ass....

*sits down, doing nothing*

Its going to be black tomorrow.
*picks towel, rolls it and starts slapping asses*

WOO-HOO! MASS ASS SLAPPAGE!

(gets to work)

Come on lance, join the party *grabs towel from kes and whips her ass with it, then runs over to ush and slaps his ass while he's conversing with someone* TeeHee

Do we HAVE to use towels?

Yeh cos it sounds kinda painful

no

*throws towel out the window and puts on black leather glove*

who wants it first?

I can't join BF, not when it takes me so long for each stupid post on this ****ing computer. Besides all of my posts get passed up anyways.

ah, tis a shame *smacks lance's ass*

*peeks in, sees too much ass slapping, sneaks out*

*grabs TH* Oh no you dont *slaps his ass with my leather glove* Micheal jackson would be proud....

Aww, doesn;t HAVE to be painful, Kes...

We could use paddles with soft cushions attached!

Ouch, oh no, ouch, ouch, no, no, please . .. um, ooooh, yeah, that's kind of nice. Yeah, slap it right there, yah. Yeah baby yeah!!!

Ush> That would be nice

TH>

Someone slap my ass, dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!

*bored*

Hey, let's make a spanking machine! Did you guys ever do that as kids?

(slaps Tomaccos ass)

(gets special cushion paddle)

Bend over for me, kes, m'dear!

Spanks Kenny.

Thank you sir, may I have another?!?!?!

You may indeed!

(further spanks To as Kes gets into position)

*Smacks To*

Run Kes!!!!!!!!

Well, I have to be accurate with this thing!

(spanks Kes)

Uh oh, i dont think ush has spanking in mind...

Now now, BF!

Okay, everyone stand in a line and spread your legs. Now, let's see, Backfire!!! Crawl under our legs and we will all spank your ass as you pass through the tunnel. See, it's the spanking machine!!!

*crawls under everyones legs* i feel so objectified....

*takes ToMacco's advice and starts running*

We already havce the ToMacco Slapping Machine, same thing.

Hi To
Im am Trumpet player extrodianair of these here forums
*finishes speach and runs like hell away from all the spanking*

Ooooh!

(chases Kes into sunset)

*follows with towel swirlling overhead*

*just keeps on running*

(just keeps on chasing)

We got ourselves a-spankin', boys! Call out the posse!

*hollars in native tongue, suddenly a group of other large hairy men begin chasin kes with me and ush*

(banjo music plays in background)

ahh why not
*grabs towel and sprints after the mad spanking crew*

What's up tptmanno1? *slaps ass* HA HA HA!!!!!

*runs like hell*

Where are you going to run to, Kes? The Hobo's house or the spooky roller disco?

Whups out frat boy pattle and yells "Comn to lets go"
and starts speeding towards To.

*keeps running*

Well, THAT doesn't fit the script...

*catches up with To and starts whuping ass furiously*
*Gives up and chases Kes*

Everybody his chasing me. *gets tired jumps in the car and starts DRIVING*

Oooooh!

BF! GET THE PICKUP TRUCK!

*runs to my hick like pick up truck, turns the ignition and drives over to ush and the other ass smacking minions* "get in fellas! she aint getting away"

(banjo music goes up a gear)

(makes whooping noises)

This baby can make 30 miles an hour... scared, Kes?

Ahh screw the pickup truck
*jumps in 1967 mustang fastback and hits the gas on the V8 engine and hauls in persuit*

Then a better get a V12.
*gets in Austin Martin Vanquish*

Ush >

*hits NOS and flyes rite up along side Kes*

Heheh...

Gimme a Bentley. Screw whether I catch her or not, I just want the Bentley.

Oops *cringes* Adapts Austin Martin *sorry baby* and guns the engine.

I'm Lindsay, I registered in June for the Matrix forums and eventually ended up here. And to answer the question where do I come from, well I come from Seattle, Washington

I like your new avatar linds

Thanks BF, I have a matching sig in mind I've just gotta find a way to make it now

u guys are hilarious

Hello

roface