blakangel
What a woman can say to a naked man:
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird?
The Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
If Men Got Pregnant
1. Maternity leave would last two years.. with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would be obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rate as the nations number one
health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They would not think twins were quite so cute.
9. Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 10 PM.
10. Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.
11. They would have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
12. Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.
13. They would stay in bed for the entire nine months.
14. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as entrees.
15. Women would rule the world.
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird?
The Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
If Men Got Pregnant
1. Maternity leave would last two years.. with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would be obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rate as the nations number one
health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They would not think twins were quite so cute.
9. Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 10 PM.
10. Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags.
11. They would have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
12. Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.
13. They would stay in bed for the entire nine months.
14. Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as entrees.
15. Women would rule the world.
really....
