50 actual news paper headings

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.



DeNiro
1. Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says

2. Police begin campaign to run down jay walkers

3. Saftey experts say school bus passengers should be belted

4. Drunk get nine months in violin case

5. Survivor of siamese twins joins parents

6. Farmer bill dies in house

7. Iraqi head seeks arms

8. Is there a ring of debris around unranus?

9. stud tires out

10. Prostitutes appeal to pope.

11. Panada mating fails, Veterinarian takes over

12. Soviet virgin lands short of goal again

13.British left waffles on falklan islands

14. Lung cancer in women mushrooms

15. eye drops off shelf

16. teacher strikes idle kids

17. Regan wins on budget, but more lies ahead

18. Squad helps dog bite victim

19. shot off womans leg helps nicklaus to 66

20. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

21. Plane too close to ground, crash probe told

22. Miners refuse to work after death

23. juveile court to try shooting defendant

24. stolen paintin found by tree

25. Two soviet ships collide, one dies

26. two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter

27. killer sentenced to die for second time in ten years

28. Never withhold herpes infection from loved one

29. Drunken drivers paid $1,000 in 84

30. war dims hope for peace

31. Man beats off jaguar with bear hands.

32. If strike isnt settels quickly it may last a while

33. cold wave linked to temperatures.

34. enfields couple slain, police suspect homicide

35. deer kill 17,000

36.typhoon rips through cemetry, hundreds dead

37. man struck by lighting faces battery charge

38. New study of obesity looks for bigger test group

39 Astronaut takes blame for gas in the spacecraft.

40. kids make nutritious snacks

41. Chef throws his heart into helping feed the needy

42. Arson suspect is held in massachusettes fire

43. British union finds dwarfs in short supply

44. Ban on solictiing dead in trotwood.

45. lansing residents can drop off trees.

46. local high school dropouts cut in half

47. New vaccine may contain rabies

48. man minus ear waives hearing

49. deaf college opens doors to hearing

50. Air head fired



noiw i actully wrote these out so be nice if u dont like them my favorite is number 31 i thought that was histericall

DeNiro
i write all these out and none finds ne of them funny

burlyman
laughing out loudlaughinglaughing out loud

DeNiro
thanks for the simpathy laugh burlyman

burlyman
np happy

DeNiro
stick out tongue

lil bitchiness
lol...its not a symathy laugh...its funny....

''1. Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says'' laughing out loud

burlyman
10. Prostitutes appeal to pope laughing out loudlaughinglaughing out loud

DeNiro
man beats off jaguar with bear hands was my favorite and kids make nutrious snacks

KidRock
hahaha good stuff DeNiro

41. Chef throws his heart into helping feed the needy

DeNiro
u guys should read my joke thread and also the kid joke thread i made and the mottes and shit

thorncrawler
i liked the 'dear kill 17,000'

Matrix_man
whats the URL for the joke thread?

p.s. funny ass quotes, where u get em from?

must_kill_Santa
LOL

DeNiro
i got them from my joke book but the url i dont know it is on the off topic forum and it is calld DeNiro's Jokes and it should be onb the first or second page and also go to the thread on the otf titeld kid jokes that was very funny also

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.