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OKay, make yourselves at home. I'm gonna be gone for two weeks.

Ush, you take care of decoration, the life support systems should work fine and don't eat all the space slug before I'm back.

There could be more oxygen in the air, but otherwhise it looks good here.

Ooh! make myself at home huh?

**Starts ro unpack skeletons and bats and couldrons**

Can I help you with that, Edna?

(Unpacks two cases, one of Jedi, one of Imperial gear)

*Peeks inside* see's skeletons and bats *runs in other direction*

*lugs in crate of booze bottles from old place*

finti passes drinks and milkshakes around. hangs up a sign "milk from sane norwegian cows"

No milkshake for me thanx.
Where are the skeletons Edna?

Oooh wow! you've got the original Space Invaders game here, look at that monster - it's taking up that whole corner! Bagsy first.

Is that a genuit Ice Creature from Hoth?
WOW!!!

'Asteroids' should be arriving soon, followed by 'Joust'

Advice to everyone- leave Edna's stuff alone! You're not covered by the insurance.

That skeleton bit me!!!!
Couldn't you say it earlyer Ush!

Uh-oh...

Edna, is there a problem if Derek bites someone?

Ouch! That must hurt Yersott. You should of upgraded your insurance to cover skeleton bites, I, fortunately, am covered by Mutual of Couriscant and have skeleton bite coverage at no extra charge. Edna, you need to keep your skeletons on a leash

OH MY GOD!!!
I pushed him away and his head fell to the ground. Don't tell Edna, I'll try to glue it back on

Don't mention the bat...

You BROKE Derek!

Oh my God...

I know, I know!!!
Now where is the glue??? Ush, with wath do you put your fake teeth in your mouth ????

Look.. just leave it alone...

(Gathers up Derek and his head and takes it to Edna's cases)

I'LL fix this myself

(Lights lightsabre)

Now, stay AWAY from Edna's stuff! I'll stand guard here.

You know you've found a great drinking hang-out when theres skeleton heads rolling on the floor

Hmm... maybe I could use the Force to hold it on whenever Edna is around...

Rather thoughy isn't he? or is it something else?

*ducks away from the lightsabre*

Derek is a menace to society, he should be put to sleep, again.

Ok just got a message from Edna saying there would be 'hell to pay if anything gets broken...'

Ok, Derek, talk to me. How does your head fit on?

And get BACK, people!

Would she notice if we put a bottle of beer in the place of his head? Or we could keep Edna drunk so she wouldn't notice

She's not very happy with you, Yerssot...

We'd best l;eave her to fix it. And you will face your destiny...

Till that, I'll be drinking all the booze so it doesn't look that bad for me

Well, good luck...

Hey, how is everybody? (As jedi212 walks in he trips on Derek and falls on his face.)

BWAAAAAAA!!!

RIGHT!

(GAthers all of Edna's stuff and tkes it into her office)

And ANYONE who follows me in here is REALLY asking for it! It;s not safe with her stuff!

(Gulps, and enters)

Where is Edna anyway? I could entertain her while you are busy...

I think that I'm going to have to make a run for it, right? Can I take Edna with me?

I didn ;t know you wanted to be a frog so much...

I have an affinity for green. (BTW I'm outta here for tonight. interesting talk )

Sigh... why do men risk Edna's wrath... what do you think, Derek?

*Starts unpacking bags. Pulls out book.*

101 Ways to Cook Derek

101 ways to cook a skeleton? That's an imaginative cook...

Yeah, well it's gonna need salt...

I love ribs *Fires up the grill*

Hey!! I am not responsible for eating him!! Although I would like to taste what you're cooking Ratcat

Ok, we have some peppers. some chilli, some Jack Daniels, some wonderful home-made stock.

LET'S START COOKIN'

Hey! NO-ONE is going near Derek!

*Swedish Chef Voice.*

Ursty, bursthy, burshty.

Furst we take da peeeppers!

Den dud Schtock, und now de Derek.

Ursty, bursthy, burshty.

Get away from that skeleton, you Swedish butcher!

butcher the swedes in stead

A-HA! I have a psychotic Norseman on my side now!

BTW, Finti, I guess Queeq will want some appropriate music here by the time he gets back. Well, it's 80's arcade machines, so how about 80's music?

How about Michael Jackson: Beat It.

For the eggs in the Derek Ommelette?

That's the most revolting idea I have heard in a while...

If you guys don't hurry, Derek's going to start to turn..

turn into what? dimmy??? soup bones?????

And now I found the superglue!
Is it too late?

Yeah, I think it's a little too late for the super glue Yersott, besides, it would probably clash with RC's skeleton sauce You know what goes great with skeleton?, bat wings!...I know I saw that bat flying around here somewhere

Ush, put your lightsabre away and search that bat!

As the Bat is actually a Hutt, you would be well advised to stay well clear.

And I don't know what you guys are on about. Derek is still safe and sound with me. Still in two pieces, but Edna can handle that...

No skeletons, no bats, is there anything to eat in this place? *grabs menu* Fried Ewok? Yummmmmmmm

No, keo..I meant that he's gone bad..time to throw him out with the sour milk..

Dimmy, then Edna would start her non-stop incantations over her boiling kettle of secret potions.

If Derek is with you Ush, WHICH skeleton am I holding than??

Where did you get that filthy skeleton Yersott? That's not Derek, he's over there with Ush. Put that filthy thing outside and come have some fried Ewok with me. *offeres Yersott fried Ewok toes*

What on earth is going on here? **gasps** DEREK! Right who is responsible for this?

"Karma karma karma cameleon, red gold and green, red gold and greeeeeeen"- Culture Club 80`s enough for ya?

Legally speaking, your responsible. Your vicious unrestrained skeleton attacked poor Yersott! A struggle ensued and the next thing we know Dereks head falls off. It was very scarry, I am still emotionally recovering from witnessing the incident. I believe I deserve some monetary compensation for my pain and suffering

I'm sorry but Derek is too friendly to bt anyone unprevoked! People usually scare him. The only time he really comes out of his shell is when he dances. To be honest I think Derek only bit Yerrsot because he was messing about with him. That must have scared the living daylights out of him! Poor Derek! Now if you don't mind, I must go and fix him! I will be in my office and DO NOT want to be disturbed!

You heard the lady!

(Waits outside office).

Funny how the provoker is always made out to be the victim. Well Yersott I guess theres just no justice in the world, now lets show our disdain by getting dead drunk *grabs pitcher of beer* Woooohooooo

BTW, drinking and playing arcade machines at the same time is NOT encouraged. Unless you put a lot more money in.

No money for arcade machine.....must buy more beer

I guess it's all the same if you spend all your money...

Aren't drinks 1/2 off? This is the grand opening weekend afterall!

Hmm... can't seem to find any instructions by queeq to that effect...

Oh Queeq Smeeq, your in charge now, I could also use some buy one get one free coupons

Let's not be bad mouthing queeq. He'll be more interested in how much many this place makes...

Feel free to ask Gundy to mak you something interesting.

I'm sorry Queeq, it's not me, it's the alcohol talking, sweet delicious alcohol

I`m in charge when queeq is away and I am a businessman prises are twice the normal for the grand opening. Arcades are free though and Texas pacman came in just for you.
"Sweet dreams are made of this who am I to disagree?
I travel the world and the seven seas.
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused."-Eurythmichs

just thought I'd drop in for a drink, nice new digs, I could get comfy here...

Well, luckily I brought my own beer!! So let's get drunk, wait a sec, I'm already drunk!!!!!!! Drinks on me!

Brought your own beer?????? hmmm takes the beer from yerssot,
this is is an establishment not a picnic, gives him a Glen Dagobah ale.

Queeq, am I right if I say your name is inspired from Turtledove's Colonization series? And has anyone read that series? I am diving thru it now, great books!

I don;t think it is, no. It's one letter different form the Red Dwarf back-up computer.

We'll have 'Gorf' and 'Defender' arriving soon for the arcade...

Who makes good cocktails here?

Finti handles that sort of thing. Or Gundy at a pinch.

Finti, could you make a dubble shaked red Zlatu for me and that Wampa there in the corner? Thanx

(Thinks that one over)

Wampa in the corner?

Oh sorry, I thought you were a wampa
To make it up, let's drink another!

So long as it is a soft drink...

Where's Gundy? I know Queeq went somewhere for 2 weeks, but I haven't seen Gundy around lately.

K, you be soft

I thought Gundark was on the toilet? He must be drawned by now.

(ceremony tomorrow at 19.00 CEST)

and whats wrong with my drinks???

Did you also have drinks??? BRING THEM ON!!!! (the more for me the less for you )

gives yerssot a milkshake from sane Norwegian cows of course, no Belgian blue here

yerssot, I am neither a) on the toilet, b) in the toilet, c) drowned, (or drawned), or d) a male person.

We have just returned from vacation at Cape Hatteras, apparently, it seems, in time to avoid being eaten.

Thanks for missing me, keo..... http://www.duhspot.com/users/smiley/s/otn/happy/icecream.gif

Ah, queeq finally got around to opening this place....pour me a tall one, finti.http://www.data-techniques.net/cwm/otn/happy/cheers.gif

"I hurried back to the swiming pool seeking PINA COLADA" -10CC
Tall one comming up Gundy, and a milkshake from snae Norwegian cows of course.

If you're not on the toilet and Ush isn't there either... who the h*ll is there than?
Maybe Derek is loos again! Bring in the salt!

hey Ush do you need a barman? you know I've been trained...I can do it as part time work...

**Edna opens her office door to find Ush standing outside**

Ush! I thought we had an agreement that you wouldn't do this before! I DO NOT need protecting. And neither does Derek. Now move out of my way. I need a stiff drink!

**Edna pushes Ush to the side in her rage and throws herself at the bar demanding some service**

GET ME A DRINK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here my dear, A double vodka, care for a mixer? ice?

*Ducks to avoid asteroid pellets kicked up in Edna's wake*

She's so cute when she's angry. Let's all drink to Edna !!!!http://www.ukobservers.net/cwm/otn/party/beerchug.gif

Double vodka? Can't you do any better than that? Fil it up to the top would you?

oh you know I can do better than that..


Ok try this...

We'll go for the blue mind:

8 Blue Curraco, 2 Vodkas, 1 VAnilla Sidekicks, 1 MEtz

Then to follow that up how about the green death

3 Vodkas, 3 BAcardi, 3 Malibu 3 Bacardi, 2 Blue Curraco, 1 Red Devil

Have fun...

I'll take a plain old blue milk smoothie, please.

Great to have you back, Gundy; missed you. Glad you avoided the sharks moving up the coast or whatever, it seems.

Give me also a blue milk please, and give me something else

certainly, sticking random umbrellas in and several fruits into the other, here have a Keshyyk sundown..

Can I have something with umbrellas and fruits???

Not bad.
Thanx Zer!!! Drink one on me!

Gives Dim a gay man and an umbrella oh and a Glen Gagobah ale and a milkshake from sane Norwegian cows of course.

Glen Gagobah ale? Is that the one that doesn't taste quite as good as a Glen Dagobah ale??

here Dim , a drink springs forth covered in umbrellas fruits and sparkelrs a faint mist rising from it...

Enjoy...oh yeah hows my saber doing?...

I dont know Ratcat, tasted alright to me, its got a sharp citrus' after taste...

It wasn't yellow was it?

Nah it becomes Glen gagobah ale after 15 Glen Dagobah ale`s

Phew! I thought you'd drunk Dims urine sample for a moment...

Edna grabs both drinks, holds her nose closes her eyes and drinks them as quickly as her throat will swallow! he opens her eyes expecting the room to be spinning but... nothing!

Oh perhaps I'm not so much a lightweight as I thought! Another?

Ushgarak is nervous... a drunken Dathomir Witch strikes him as the most scary thing EVER seen in the bar...

Zereil, I'd be careful, buddy...

Oi! I...I've t..told you before Uuuushgrak! I don't neeeeeeed your help! **sways** And n..neither d...d...does Zreil! Do you? **Punches zereil playfully in the arm before grabbing the bar to stop herself triiping over her own feet**

*begins to jump over Edna, over and over again*

One and two and three and four...

*sings in the melody of 'we zijn nog lang nie zat'*

And we aren't loaded yet; not by a long shot, not by a long shot, and we aren't loaded yet,...

St...stop it! You're m...making me dizzzzy!

**Edna tries to grab at yerssot but only grabs arir before falling on the floor. She lies there helpless for a few seconds and then pulls herslf back up the bar**

I'm ok! N...nobody worry ab...bout m...me! I'll be fine! ....... I think **she says before falling on the floor again**

I'm sorry Edna.
Now let me buy you a drink

Edna lies on the floor looking up at yerssot. "Y...yes. I'll have w...whatever you're having!"

Ushgarak kneels down by Edna.

"Umm... why don't you carry on unpacking, Edna, eh? Plenty of fun stuff still to decorate this place with..."

(Holds out his hand for Edna)

No! **Edna pushes his hand away**

You alwaaaays s.spoil my fun! Y...your so borrring. We never hav...have any fun!

Hey! We have fun! (Thinks) Lots of times! (Thinks more)
A-HA! What abput the bath, eh?

Ok, what do you want to do?

You want fun???
Let's have some music here!!!

I don't kn...know! **she lets Ush help her up and then stumbles across the room, drink still in hand**

Well, how about a hug for my favourite Witch, anyway?

(Makes sure Edna does not spill drink)

**Ush ugs Edna but gets no response from her as she slips throughhis arms and hits the floor. Sitting on her arse with her knees bent and drink STILL in hand**

Botoms up **Edna downs her drink and throws the glass behind her**

Oh dear...

(Leans down to pic Edna up)

Come on. Where do you want to go?

Leave me alone! Get off me! **Edna struggles helplessly in Ush's arms. She's so pathetic when she's drunk!**

Ush can't help laughing... and kisses Edna gently on the cheek...

Let's get you to your room...

"She drives me crazy
like no one else
She drives me crazy
and I can't help myself"- FYC
Makes Ush clean up the mess Edna made.

No I don't want to go! **Edna struggles fromhis grip and falls on the floor again. She sits the and sulks**

Come on, sulky Witch... ler's go somewhere nice, eh?

Sorry, Finti...

No!

oh so this is not somewhere nice??????

"Our house in the middle of the street"-Madness

(Strokes Edna's hair gently)

Come on... let's go to your office, where all your Witchy stuff is...

No I'm not going anywhere with you! I don't want to! Leave me alone! I hate you!

SSshhhh...

(Leans dnown and kisses Edna)

get off! Get off! You're evil I hate you! I hate you!

Hey! I am NOT evil! Hey! You are confusing me with HIM again! You... you... drunken WITCH! The truth agajn, huh?

No get off me you're hurting me. Leave me alone. Ush help me please! He's hurting me! **Edna tries desperately to crawl away from him on the floor but she has nostrength in her arms**

Ush and Edna remind me of Han and Leia and there love hate relationship

USH help me?

Hmm, the drunken Witch has mistaken me for my evil clone... do K try and reason with her or bluff this out by pretending to return as me?

Ehh, I'm not the lying sort.

(Lies Edna down on the floor)

Edna! Fear not! It is I, Ush, your Paladin and part-time protector!

No you're lying! Stop it! Let me go! Please! **Edna is in tears and feeling very desperate. She pulls out the chopstick that is holding up her long hair and thrusts it with all her might into Ush's leg**

Luckily, being a Jedi has its advantages...

WHOA!

(Ush dodges the chopstick and leaps backwards)

Edna! Stop it! Um... ok! Ok! I didn;t hold onto the brrom properly, Edna! It wasn't your fault at all! I was trying to hold onto YOU instead! I'm sorry...

**Edna looks up confused. Tears streaming down her face**

What?

(Ush kneels down by Edna and takes her hands gently)

I didn't want you to keep thinking of me as a stupid Jedi... but I just wanted to hold you close during the journey... you went all strange and wibbley so I fell off, that's the truth... you didn't get the spell wrong at all! It was all my fault! I'm so sorry...

Ush? Is it really you?

Yes! And I can prove it!

(Kissed Edna. not playfully this time but PROPERLY...)

Edna kisses him back and then pulls away and slaps him before pulling herself up, still swaying slightly and tries to walk away from him.

(Rubs his face)

Hey...

(gets up and chases Edna, laying a hand on her shoulder)

Edna!

(She shakes his hand off of her and loses her balance, falling onto the chair. Ush now looms over her)

I can't believe you lied to me! All this time! How dare you?