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u people have any funny quotes? post em here!


I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is

Have you ever noticed when driving... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down

If fly didnt have any wings, would it be called walk?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Men are like toilets, they ar either engaged of full of shit!

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches

Heaven doesnt want me Hell is afraid i'll take over!

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives

+1


i thought i was indecisive, but now im not so sure

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash

if you can't laugh at your self, make fun of other people

ive noticed that whnever theres a plane crash the black box always remains intact. now why dont they just make the whole plane out of that black box stuff...?

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper

I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb

where the hell is dave.....this thread was for him

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest

somebody is just copying these off a site

yeh well u must be referring to me since NO ONE ELSE is posting here now......

that was my own one!

btw most of the first page was my own ones but then i ran out so....

mine was all my own thanks

omg i jus turned forum master! haha woohoo!

N.O.

wierd, ive only got 2193 posts.....

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic

Men are like roses, watch out for pricks!!

what about me?

aww MM...no not you!!

but here is another one of men:

''Men are like parking spaces, good ones are taken and the only free ones are too far away or disabled''

hehe

thats a funny one.....

*hugs lil*

*hugs back*

*tickles*

bump

*giggles from tickeling* ages ago

Here is one that i think...is just Tex all over...

''Any ass can fart an opinion''



man, im so funny somethimes!!

i saw this one ages ago on a website...and its me..

''Save a boyfriend for a rainy day. And another, in case it doesn't rain''

haha....thats fine with us guys!

is it now.....pffft, guys!

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."

Emo Philips.

OH MY GOD,YOUR SIG IS BEYONG HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

Shut up brain or i'll stab you with a Q-tip!! -Homer!

"A cookie a day keeps the wookie away!"

*ralph voice* my cats breath smells like cat food

if you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?

If you attempt to fail, and suceed, which one did you do?

There are 3 peopl in this world, those who can count, and those who can't. I am one of them.

What do you mean what kind of accent is this? It's a troll accent!

Here's something I got my friend to say..

I hate you! I hate you! Call me.

Thats me, thats how I spend my life