ash007
.
My brother sent this to me. It was posted on a mesage board he visits. The message board is a Bionicle fans board so there are a few Bionicle related ones in here. I didn't have time to edit it so some dumb ones are still in here, but for the most part it's all so funny I can hardly bear it.
1. at lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "the money to keep you my freind."
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard George.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" 3rd time this week!!!!!
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20.Pronounce the punctuation marks when you speak
21.When they make announcement over the PA, curl up and shout, "Oh no! It's the voices again!!"
22.Challenge other shoppers to duels with rolls of wrapping paper
23.In an official-sounding voice, tell an associate, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
24.Try to put candy bars on Layaway.
25.Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." (Really, this is fun to do anywhere.)
26.Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
27.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
28.Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
29.Constantly talk to your self and make yourself reply with a different personality!
30.Slam a book into your head three times then act like you now know all about the book, If asked tell them its called impact theology!
31.start all your sentences with according to law #398, subsection 8, etc.
32.Say "I'M A DINOSUAR IN DISGIUSE!! FEAR ME!!" when your in the Meat Isle of the food store.
33.Put a can of Soup in the Freezer.
34.While playing Hockey, say that one of your Team-mates was Roughing on you.
35.Start a Ruffle Chips selling booth but instead of saying "Get your Ruffles here!" say "Get your Wressles here!"
36.Add the phrase "Or did I?" (or something similar) after every response to a qestion
37.Go into a hardware store, pick up a chainsaw, and ask the clerk if it cuts through bone.
38.Ask a walmart employee if they have any clothes in the color of blood and then mutter under you breath "They always end up that color anyway."
39.While buying a gun, ask the guy at the cash register how much the store has at the end of the day.
40.Buy a tank of gas, a book of matches, and a roll of duct tape. Make sure to have them rung up in that order, and watch to see if the cashier reacts in anyway. Make sure to pay in cash.
41.In front of a big store, like Wal-Mart, get on one of those rides for little kids and start it up and start yelling like you're having a great time.
42.Shopping Carts. 'Nuff said.
43.Try and steal the Security golf-cart.
44.Go into the Cutlery section and stand there for 3-4 hours looking at knives. If anybody enters the aisle, chase them out like a rabid beast.
45.Try and get into the Employees Only place.
46.Run around in the parking lot yelling, "The end is near!!" Okay, so it's not that original.
47.Fill your shopping cart with bags of sand, then put it on the belt to buy it. While the clerk is struggling to put them in the cart, say, "Always need to be prepared."
48.Stand as a solicitor holding the "Do not Contribute to Solicitors" sign.
49.Throw shoes at people. Get thrown out.
50.While people aren't looking, move their carts to where they can't see 'em.
51.Walk backwards through the whole store. Sure to get some stares.
52.In the camp supplies aisle, set up a few of the tents, unroll the sleeping bags, and have a campout in the store.
53.In class, start singing Black Sabath's Iron Man and when it's time for the guitar solo, tell your teacher to "take it away!" This works great if you can also get a friend to do the drums.
54.Go around all day pretending to be Batman. When the intercom goes off, grab the nearest person and say "An emergency? Quick Robin! To the Batmobile!"
55.While talking to a friend online, insist that they live across the street from you. Go as far as to log off and pretend that you went across the street to see him. Then log back on and tell him that his mother was very rude to you when you tried to come in.
56.Sing a gospel-sounding rendition of Eminem's "Kim" in the school talent show/christmas play/assembly. Even better, try to get a whole choir to work with you!
57.start singing "Starin' at the sun" while you're in a dark place.
58.go to the store and buy 50 fireworks, some matches, 1 fuse, and enough sandbags to make a bunker.
59.go to the movie theatre and dump popcorn on the seat next to you. like 3 XL bags. when the seat's full, say to someone, "This seat's open."
Here's the rest. I hope it works...
60.Put on a blanket so it looks like a cape, go to the mall, and do super hero poses when people walk by!
61.Wear a sleeveless t shirt, a pair of gloves with no fingers and put a pair of goggles on your head, if asked tell them you are a japenese cartoon! (note: Improve this by making an outlandishly big sword like cloud strifes... or an old broom handle work...)
62.When you go to get your hair styled, insist that you want hair like Cloud's. If they don't know what they mean, insist that it's got those thingys, with the do-dads sticking all over. If they try to convince you to try something they know, threaten them with a Buster Sword.
63.Go into a bar and ask for adventurers to help you on your noble quest! Extra points if you offer large amounts of gold, or you pin a notice to the bullitin board with a knife!
64.Two words. Funny voices.
65.Go through a whole day saying nothing that wasn't said in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
66.When having a conversation with a friend and your friend pauses for about 3 seconds say "Blink, cougth, sneeze." Trust me, do that a couple o' times a day and become really annoying!
67.When bell rings after class shout "A FIRE!!! RUN PEOPLE!"! It truely works!
68.Put baby powder all over your hands, arms, legs, feet and face and go outside (WITH CLOTHES ON!) shouting "I am the ghost of...ummmmm...that guy who died!" People'll give you strange looks and'll back away from you.
69.In ToysRus walk quickly around, looking behind you every couple of feet and muttering to yourself "They're coming..."
70.When someone gets insulted in any way, yell out loud "CRACK SIZZLE BUUUUURN"
71.add "to the MAX" to the end of a phrase.
72. refer to yourself in third person perspective. it's fun.
73.if you take a bus back home from school, get off at an earlier stop. cut across to another stop, and get back on.
74.Stare blankly during class, and when the teacher calls on you, mutter "pretty colors" just loud enough for everyone to hear.
75.Sit in class, lie back, and raise your hand up. If someone asks you what you're doing or calls on you, mutter "m-must....reach...t-the....l-light...."
76.this one's really simple. *poke*.....*poke*.....*pokepokepokepokepoke*
77.when camping, go to a road that people drive on alot and dress up like a hobo, stick your thumb out and wait for someone to stop, then if they step out act, as if you have rabies or chase them around.
78.get a knife and an old Friday the 13th mask, and hide behind a tree wearing the mask and a knife hold your thumb out as if your a hitch hiker if someone stops jump out at them and try to open the door with the knife held up
79. breath like gollum and don't talk.
It did work!
Hope you all enjoyed this.
My brother sent this to me. It was posted on a mesage board he visits. The message board is a Bionicle fans board so there are a few Bionicle related ones in here. I didn't have time to edit it so some dumb ones are still in here, but for the most part it's all so funny I can hardly bear it.
1. at lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "the money to keep you my freind."
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard George.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" 3rd time this week!!!!!
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20.Pronounce the punctuation marks when you speak
21.When they make announcement over the PA, curl up and shout, "Oh no! It's the voices again!!"
22.Challenge other shoppers to duels with rolls of wrapping paper
23.In an official-sounding voice, tell an associate, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
24.Try to put candy bars on Layaway.
25.Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible." (Really, this is fun to do anywhere.)
26.Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
27.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
28.Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"
29.Constantly talk to your self and make yourself reply with a different personality!
30.Slam a book into your head three times then act like you now know all about the book, If asked tell them its called impact theology!
31.start all your sentences with according to law #398, subsection 8, etc.
32.Say "I'M A DINOSUAR IN DISGIUSE!! FEAR ME!!" when your in the Meat Isle of the food store.
33.Put a can of Soup in the Freezer.
34.While playing Hockey, say that one of your Team-mates was Roughing on you.
35.Start a Ruffle Chips selling booth but instead of saying "Get your Ruffles here!" say "Get your Wressles here!"
36.Add the phrase "Or did I?" (or something similar) after every response to a qestion
37.Go into a hardware store, pick up a chainsaw, and ask the clerk if it cuts through bone.
38.Ask a walmart employee if they have any clothes in the color of blood and then mutter under you breath "They always end up that color anyway."
39.While buying a gun, ask the guy at the cash register how much the store has at the end of the day.
40.Buy a tank of gas, a book of matches, and a roll of duct tape. Make sure to have them rung up in that order, and watch to see if the cashier reacts in anyway. Make sure to pay in cash.
41.In front of a big store, like Wal-Mart, get on one of those rides for little kids and start it up and start yelling like you're having a great time.
42.Shopping Carts. 'Nuff said.
43.Try and steal the Security golf-cart.
44.Go into the Cutlery section and stand there for 3-4 hours looking at knives. If anybody enters the aisle, chase them out like a rabid beast.
45.Try and get into the Employees Only place.
46.Run around in the parking lot yelling, "The end is near!!" Okay, so it's not that original.
47.Fill your shopping cart with bags of sand, then put it on the belt to buy it. While the clerk is struggling to put them in the cart, say, "Always need to be prepared."
48.Stand as a solicitor holding the "Do not Contribute to Solicitors" sign.
49.Throw shoes at people. Get thrown out.
50.While people aren't looking, move their carts to where they can't see 'em.
51.Walk backwards through the whole store. Sure to get some stares.
52.In the camp supplies aisle, set up a few of the tents, unroll the sleeping bags, and have a campout in the store.
53.In class, start singing Black Sabath's Iron Man and when it's time for the guitar solo, tell your teacher to "take it away!" This works great if you can also get a friend to do the drums.
54.Go around all day pretending to be Batman. When the intercom goes off, grab the nearest person and say "An emergency? Quick Robin! To the Batmobile!"
55.While talking to a friend online, insist that they live across the street from you. Go as far as to log off and pretend that you went across the street to see him. Then log back on and tell him that his mother was very rude to you when you tried to come in.
56.Sing a gospel-sounding rendition of Eminem's "Kim" in the school talent show/christmas play/assembly. Even better, try to get a whole choir to work with you!
57.start singing "Starin' at the sun" while you're in a dark place.
58.go to the store and buy 50 fireworks, some matches, 1 fuse, and enough sandbags to make a bunker.
59.go to the movie theatre and dump popcorn on the seat next to you. like 3 XL bags. when the seat's full, say to someone, "This seat's open."
Here's the rest. I hope it works...
60.Put on a blanket so it looks like a cape, go to the mall, and do super hero poses when people walk by!
61.Wear a sleeveless t shirt, a pair of gloves with no fingers and put a pair of goggles on your head, if asked tell them you are a japenese cartoon! (note: Improve this by making an outlandishly big sword like cloud strifes... or an old broom handle work...)
62.When you go to get your hair styled, insist that you want hair like Cloud's. If they don't know what they mean, insist that it's got those thingys, with the do-dads sticking all over. If they try to convince you to try something they know, threaten them with a Buster Sword.
63.Go into a bar and ask for adventurers to help you on your noble quest! Extra points if you offer large amounts of gold, or you pin a notice to the bullitin board with a knife!
64.Two words. Funny voices.
65.Go through a whole day saying nothing that wasn't said in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
66.When having a conversation with a friend and your friend pauses for about 3 seconds say "Blink, cougth, sneeze." Trust me, do that a couple o' times a day and become really annoying!
67.When bell rings after class shout "A FIRE!!! RUN PEOPLE!"! It truely works!
68.Put baby powder all over your hands, arms, legs, feet and face and go outside (WITH CLOTHES ON!) shouting "I am the ghost of...ummmmm...that guy who died!" People'll give you strange looks and'll back away from you.
69.In ToysRus walk quickly around, looking behind you every couple of feet and muttering to yourself "They're coming..."
70.When someone gets insulted in any way, yell out loud "CRACK SIZZLE BUUUUURN"
71.add "to the MAX" to the end of a phrase.
72. refer to yourself in third person perspective. it's fun.
73.if you take a bus back home from school, get off at an earlier stop. cut across to another stop, and get back on.
74.Stare blankly during class, and when the teacher calls on you, mutter "pretty colors" just loud enough for everyone to hear.
75.Sit in class, lie back, and raise your hand up. If someone asks you what you're doing or calls on you, mutter "m-must....reach...t-the....l-light...."
76.this one's really simple. *poke*.....*poke*.....*pokepokepokepokepoke*
77.when camping, go to a road that people drive on alot and dress up like a hobo, stick your thumb out and wait for someone to stop, then if they step out act, as if you have rabies or chase them around.
78.get a knife and an old Friday the 13th mask, and hide behind a tree wearing the mask and a knife hold your thumb out as if your a hitch hiker if someone stops jump out at them and try to open the door with the knife held up
79. breath like gollum and don't talk.
It did work!
Hope you all enjoyed this.
wow that was great
they dont allow big gruops in 
