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Didn't see anything like this posted yet, so I thought I would start a similar topic to that found in the general discussion forum. Pitch two 007 characters (Anything goes except James himself...villains, henchmen, Bond girls are all fair game) against each other and discuss who would win and why. Mine first:

Round 1:
Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) v. May Day (Grace Jones)

Breakdown:
While Max Zorin's little Amazon certainly had the intimidation look down, she just doesn't stand up to someone who actually got aroused by pain. The longer this matchup goes on, the more this matchup works in Xenia's favor. Just keep her away from those parachutes!

Projection:
Xenia in four rounds by TKO.


Comment, or introduce the next matchup!

Alright Primative - Good thread...this I can work with.

Round 2:
Jaws ( Richard Kiel - Moonraker ) Vs. OddJob ( Harold Sakata - Goldfinger )

Although OddJob might have the upper had being able to use his hat as a viable weapon...I think he would be overmatched by Jaws, for Jaws could simply catch the hat in his teeth and then tear it apart as Oddjob watched in horror.

Projection:
Jaws in 2 rounds...The Tyson Move...biting of the ear.

I think that the biting would be grounds for disqualification, not that O.J. would still be alive to claim the match. Next up:

Round 3: Ultra-Flyweight Division
Nick Nack vs. Mr. Kidd

Looks like there'll be a few hits below the belt in this matchup. If he's not too careful, good old Mr. Kidd could find himself getting knocked out of his already light loafers by Scaramanga's small wonder in the first couple of rounds. But Mr. Kidd's playful tendencies and lighthearted demeanor should keep him circling the ring for awhile.

Unfortunately, the coaching techniques of life-partner Wint are no match for the Golden Gun golden child, and poor Mr. Kidd will find that not all diamonds are forever... as Nick Nack will take to the low road and deliver mighty blow after blow to the family jewels.

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/images/moresmilies/boxed.gif

Projection:
Nick Nack in nine rounds.

Round 4: Boris vs Bambi And Thumper

Lured into the ring on the promise of a new AppleMac, Boris is immediately wailed on by the feisty duo. And then sat on. Repeatedly. Just to make sure. Invincible indeed...

Bambi And Thumper in 5 seconds

this is supposed to be celebrity deathmatch, get some weapons and big deaths or something.....also I dont think Jaws should be DQ'd as the deathmatch rules would allow it to continue??

Round 3: Posh & Rich Division
Max Zorin Vs Willard Whyte

Well The fighters do take a while to reach the ring as they're walletsare holding them back. Both Men Circle the ring for many rounds with no punches being given or even a single hit been made...

Projection:
Dra, Both fighters were paid to take a dive

So.... the crowd demands bloodlust!! No better way than by pitting two disappointing supporting villainesses in a catfight to the death. I give you...

THE CAGE MATCH!!!!!
Round 4: Miranda Frost vs. Electra King

Miss King kicks off the match with hopes that her bondage chair proves to be more successful than it was on 007. But before the final twist can be applied to Miss Frost's fragile neck, the end-of-round bell sounds.... allowing Miranda the chance to bring her expert swordsmanship into play.

No Renard to nab you away this time, Electra. It's Kibbles 'n Bits for you as Miranda applies the slice and dice... and we have our first fatality of the evening, ladies and gentlemen!!!!

Decision: Miranda Frost wins in three rounds by decapitation.http://www.killermovies.com/forums/images/moresmilies/chair.gif

Whaddaya MEAN rounds 3 and 4? I made a round 3!

Round 7 - The Alter Ego Round

Mr. Big vs. Dr. Kananga

Dr. Kananga starts off by offering his home grown Heroin to Mr. Big, trancing him into a lull. Mr Big, trying to retaliate uses his Filet of soul food to counter the effects, only manages to eat too much and explode as he has over stuffed himself.

Seeing as they are one in the same...there is no winner, and yet no loser. It is a draw !

The crowd stands in confusion...

ok and for the piece de resistance

a bond deathmatch special, a bond free for all, for the first time in 20 films, or 40 years, every single bond is here tonight, and they will fight to the death tonight, after these important messeges!

Wow these messages have gone on for a while. Did Connery win?

By default when Moore was DQ'ed for trying to use Zorin's blimp as a suppository on Dalton.

Bump!

Well Connery WOULD win, wouldn't he?

everyone could, why would?

The other four would just be too afraid of him to take him on .

cause he would smack the girls?

Some of the others did too, I think {like Pierce hitting Xenia in "GE"}.

I just said that Connery would win because I like him the best ...

but that was in the heat of the moment, connery did it for fun so to speak

but nothing based upon? cause when it comes to being icecold, that would be Dalton

Ah but you're forgetting something vital, yerss old chap; a man can't truly win a fight unless he's got that cutting wit to back up the fisticuffs. Dalton was kind of lacking in that department ...

the killer wit... how's that for a punchline?

Boom boom!

shocking, positively shocking

Originally posted by A.D. Skinner
Alright Primative - Good thread...this I can work with.

Round 2:
Jaws ( Richard Kiel - Moonraker ) Vs. OddJob ( Harold Sakata - Goldfinger )

Although OddJob might have the upper had being able to use his hat as a viable weapon...I think he would be overmatched by Jaws, for Jaws could simply catch the hat in his teeth and then tear it apart as Oddjob watched in horror.

Projection:
Jaws in 2 rounds...The Tyson Move...biting of the ear.

Come on. Oddjob would win. I don't mean to start an argument, but look:

Jaws: Is completely stupid and braindead. Has unique weapon, his teeth. Has superstrength.

Oddjob: Has a functioning brain with much more superior power to Jaws's. Has unique weapon, his hat. Has superstrength, and he knows how to put it to good use with martial arts rather than just hitting people.

Besides, Oddjob could throw the hat and decapitate Jaws with it before Jaws could get to him to rip it apart. And Jaws isn't clever enough to try and electrocute Oddjob. stupid

but Jaws could eat Oddjobs hat

all the Blofelds against each other lol I say the one from You Only Live Twice.

the Henderson one?

Originally posted by yerssot
but Jaws could eat Oddjobs hat

While the hat was flying towards him?

he can catch it with his teeth

I suppose, but then it would come to hand 2 hand combat and Oddjob would beat Jaws to a pulp. Jaws is just as strong, but at least Oddjob can put some brains to the task, and use martial arts.

jaws would eat him alife

For this Deathmatch to be exciting, you must have a person move to the next round... like the Contender, and fight another person, not just have different people fight. Someone has to win it all!

like... ManSpider?

Wow, one of my threads actually got 1000+ views... I need to sit for a moment!

Here's one I thought about for awhile: let's throw the fundamental laws of space-time continuum out the window and pit the three different Blofelds against each other from You Only Live Twice (Donald Pleasance), On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Telly Savalas... the original Kojak!), or Diamonds are Forever (Charles Gray).

I give the nod to Savalas... hell, he could beat the other two down with that turtleneck with the huge-a$$ collar on it (man, did I dress like that as a kid?!?). Or maybe just give the other two a beatdown with that trademark Kojak lollipop of his. Ving Rhames may have him for today's era, but Telly was the man back then!

pft, you forget that the one from DAF had a double to help him out

Originally posted by yerssot
pft, you forget that the one from DAF had a double to help him out

Yeah, but he was dead in the first 10 minutes of the film!!!

ah, right idea, just a wrong pussy

Babysitter chick from, I think it was DAF or it might've been Moonraker, I can't remember. The woman that was doing the nursery rhyme about the umbrella...her, vs...the little boy who had the balloons in TLD.

the umbrella?

She talked about umbrellas to her school children ...

What an odd death match ...

it scared the kids?

What would have? She was only talking about umbrellas ...

exactly cry

Since when are umbrellas scary?! Well, unless you're a Gothamite that's been terrorised by the Penguin ...

those claws, ahnold! I still see those claws! cry

The Penguin's?

how do you call it then?

Originally posted by yerssot
Those claws, ahnold! I still see those claws! cry

Did the Penguin attack you or something ?

he shoved his big nose into my eye