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Drop in the ocean to you lot I know, but I've just topped 500 posts.

watch it mech, I'm catching up.
I've done 385 posts. well 385 after this!

Looks more like 427 to me

Err... me too.

Anyhoo, not bothered about my position in the league table, I just thought it was a milestone to be mentioned.

Congratulations

Praise from the mighty Raz too, can today get any better?

I'm keeping quiet....

yeah I can think of ways to make the day better

congatulations and celebrations na na na na.

Congratulations, I remember when I was at 500, Oh how the days fly by............................

*In best Yoda voice*

When 800 posts you reach, look as good you will not, eh?

Are we talking a face like a smacked arse and teeth the Druids would worship?

Maybe

like they always say: it's not the quantity it's the quality

With posts yes.

With teeth, I'd say its better to have a full set - and no falsies.

Absolutely!

I have beautiful teeth, see

Thats good! So when you die some one will dig you up and pull your teeth out w/ plyers, put them on a chain and ware them around their neck.

So you have it all planned out dont you?!? Well you'll never get my babies!!!

*ToMacco smashes Tex's teeth with an aluminum bat.*

*chants* go ToMacco, go ToMacco, go ToMaco! yeah!

*ToMacco sweeps Tex's broken teeth under Tex's pillow.*

Tex, you may get $.50 for all those teeth!

You better brake for Bjork, bud!

The tooth fairy ain't real you know?

Only Santa is real.

ST. Nich is a load of CRAP!

And he's gonna take your teeth

*Wanted Dead or Alive - White bearded elderly gent wearing red/white jump suit. Steels childrens gnashers in the night*

*Texas calls Americas most Wanted*Hello John Walsh? Yeah, you know that fat guy in the red jump suit who steals gnashers? Yeah, well he's here, and his using the alias ToMacco

That will teach you to knock my teeth out you bastard

*Hands Tex false teeth, gets hauled to prison*

That's right

*ToMacco uses his one phone call to call Dominoes. He also asks the delivery boy to pick him up a 12-pack.*

I love Dominos, there soooo good!!

Well, then, come visit me in prison! I've got 12 beers here, too! Budweiser!

*Texas informs ToMacco that only hicks visit friends in prison*

*ToMacco shrugs, gives 6 brews to his cell-mate Bubba. ToMacco feels uneasy about the way Bubba looks at him.*

Nighty Night

*ToMacco cries for help. Big guy from Shawshank comes and beats this shit out of me.*

*enters the room, looks around, sees Bubba, trows a baseballbat to him, leaves the room and locks it*

Thanks yers, bud. *ToMacco digs a tunnel with a pick-axe*

*kicks To back*

Ow *ToMacco crawls through a river of shit to freedom.*

Throws his hands in the air, laughs.

(Shawshank theme rings in the background)

*Texas turns off Shawshank theme and puts on Bjorks 'Big Time Sensuality' instead*

*ToMacco throws in Bob Dylan's Like a Rolling Stone*

I'm jammin! Jammin! Jammin!

OSCAR THIEF

Perhaps Bjork would have won if she didn't have a dead swan around her neck!

Bod Dylan looked like a freak, they had him via satellite from like Venesula and he looked sooooo dumb!!!!!!!

Poor Bjork

Atleast she won at Cannes

Speaking of the Oscars, remember that see through dress Jennifer Lopez had on?

Yes , but her Grammy dress was better

Why does she even wear a dress?

To cover that enormous booty

I'd like to wear her ass as a hat.

All that weight would give you brain damage

he already has brain damage

Big loss for me. Wait, did I just say that?

You could wear my booty as a hat

smells like teen spirits

Gotta love that Nirvana

better that then your butt

Keep your ass away from me, Tex!

*pulls out a hickory stick*

hick

Do you think I'm sitting here with a straw hat on, and a piece of weed hanging out of my mouth?

on a ball of hay with white fruite of the loom t-shirt, faded denims and boots that should be polished some.

"Some folks will never eat a skunk but then again some folk will, like ToMacco the slack jawed yokal"

ah Skunk, the fragment of Texas aftershave

I thought he wore "eu de poo-doo"?

I thought that 'aux la poo'?

eau de la poo...

mmm, so THAT'S what I'm smelling!

You should all be ashamed of yourselves, Mr. Armani would not be amused

do I look as if I care?

*Texas lets lara sniff his neck*

*catches fainting Lara*

*dies from the stench*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ignites lightsabre*
Tex; you have exactly 2 seconds to get out!

well he is out at the time

*runs outside, searching for Tex*

Nice one, yerss, leave the BODY behind...

Shall I try and resuscitate her?

*yerssot runs into a library to search up the word "resuscitate", meanwhile screams*
Do that, while I find him and desintegrate him

I guess you WON'T be wanting me to do the kiss of life. I'll find those little electric shock things.

*runs off again, not hearing what Ush shouted*
Come on Tex! where are you?

Hang on, someone has to rip her shirt off for those things to work.

Hmm, best get a girl to do it. Edna? Gundy? Dim? Keo?

She's not dead people, just allergic to fine and expensive designer colognes

Let rip her shirt anyway

*rolls over and stands in a stance, w/ pistols loaded and read to use*
Ok GUYS back away slowly and no one gets hurt!
*in the mean time shots Tex for having such a wrank aftershave*

*enters room again*
Here you are Tex, now you will sufur!
*sees Lara*
ow hon! you are still alive!
*deactivates lightsabre and pushes Tex away*

Strange world.

Bizarre, even.

hey, you want to get a lightsabre in your eye?

No. Duh!

What I experianced was 'respitory arrest' its only temparary.
Lara Croft Never Dies you should all know that by now. *tuts and shakes head*

those are called PADDLES Ush.

naha!

Thanks, Lara, though when it comes to medicine, I tend to generalise.

once you start to generalise it becomes a habit. and then a fetish!