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ill make first comment. it was good. nothing special but it was good.

well it is the begging hock i think that it is pretty damn good for starting off i cant wait to read the entire story ill keep reading here daily and posting what i think about it. good work so far though

k

i like how u dont dwellon one thing to long. u dont make one scene like the ciggrete part boring u just add it in just like they would in a movie. this is written quite well

good...continue?