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HARD-DISK woman/Man: She/He remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman: She forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS woman/Man: Everyone knows that she/He can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL woman/Man: They say she/He can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER woman/Man: She/He is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET woman/man: Difficult to access. // Everybody will access!!

SERVER woman/man: Always busy when you need her/him.

MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM woman: She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL woman/man: Every ten things she/he says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything

Virus

nah hard-disk frend

Iam perfect!

SHAREWARE WOMAN free to install but everytime you want to use it you get nagged for money.
CPU FAN WOMAN - she blows well
TROJAN HORSE WOMAN Lets you in the back door
Java woman -write once run anywhere i.e platform independent.
DIRECTX girlfriend: She makes everything run correctly and completes the system, but needs constant updating.
SCANNER woman: you can put something in her anytime, but you still have to turn her on before anything happens.