The stuff every Chick doesn't tell her man!!! Told by a Chick!!!

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Tired Hiker
I read this on AOL news, it was taken from Men's Health magazine, and some chick tells all the secrets! smile

1) My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. I have done a hand-comparison measurement so I can divulge size and girth with a high level of accuracy. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.) Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.

2) Just looking at your hands can turn me on.

3) When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.

4) I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.

5) I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
6) I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.

7) I have Googled your exes.

8) When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.

9) My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.

10) I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.

11) I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn Web sites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious.

12) When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.

13) When I say, "I'll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won't actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).

14) You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.

15) I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.

16) I want you to talk a little dirty.

17) At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.

18) I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs because I like you. As crazy as it sounds, the more I like you, the less likely I am to sleep with you on an early date, because I don't want to sabotage having a "proper" relationship with you. So I just might purposely hunt out the ugliest underwear in my drawer and not shave my legs -- all to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. Sometimes I might get a little tipsy or carried away, and this plan will backfire.

19) I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.



Oh yeah, there's more . . . . . And by the way, I don't know if I like number 19.sad

stinkfist462
DAMMIT !! WHATS WRONG WITH THESE LONG POSTS !! AHH H!!!

MC Mike
AH - thats why you have such... stupid responses all over the place. stick out tongue

stinkfist462
laughing

lil bitchiness
http://images.killermovies.com/forums/moresmilies/cry.gif Oh my God, its like someone spyed on me. Like they read my thoughts...i did all those things....exactly like said.

Tired Hiker
Sorry, Stinks, I know you hate long posts, but this is good info . .. here's some more that won't be so long! smile


20) I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"

21) I check out your butt every time you leave the room.

22) I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?"

23) I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him.

24) Even though I may complain that I don't see you enough (or that you work too hard), I find nothing sexier than watching you put on a suit in the morning and rush off to work.

25) I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.

26) Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.

27) I may find your best friend repulsive, but I've fantasized about sleeping with him. Not because I want him, but because I want a piece of a guy who is so close to you.

28) If I'm going to break up with you, all of my friends know way before you do. I've been talking about it for 2 weeks.

29) When we do break up, I put all photographs of you and mementos of our relationship in a shoe box and store it in my closet. Just in case I get nostalgic. Just in case you come back.

30) I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take without asking.


That last one is so true, but you have to have met the girl! big grin

lil bitchiness
Jesus Christ! no expression

I cannot explain to any of you how absolutey true this is to a single detail!

stinkfist462
ok .. i actually read those ... what the hell is happening ?

Tired Hiker
Here's more!!!! wink stick out tongue

31) I love cooking you breakfast every morning and doing your laundry, just as long as you spank me.

32) I have no problem with you spanking it to porn in front of my parents. confused

33) Every time I sleep with you, I pretend you are Tired Hiker.


That's it for now, kids!big grin

burlyman
laughing out loud thumb uphappy

" spaking it " confused

stinkfist462
laughing out loud

lil bitchiness
Everything except from that ^^ is absolutely true!

Tired Hiker
laughing out loud Sure.

stinkfist462
laughing

lil bitchiness
31) I love cooking you breakfast every morning and doing your laundry, just as long as you spank me.
confused uuuhuh

32) I have no problem with you spanking it to porn in front of my parents. sick *faints...dies from repulsivness*

33) Every time I sleep with you, I pretend you are Tired Hiker. What the f**k? i sure dont!

stinkfist462
suureeee Lil

Tired Hiker
I'm sorry, I meant to say, " cheese grating it ". Totally my fault. sad . . . . . . . smile

stinkfist462
laughing laughing out loud laughing

Tired Hiker
Lils doesn't have to pretend, get it? big grin

stinkfist462
no ... .





















jk

lil bitchiness
Of course, he's right there!

Tired Hiker
laughing out loud

lil bitchiness
No but seriously, its really true!! I did (and still do embarrasment) some of those things yes

Tired Hiker
yeah baby wink

lil bitchiness
Are you still going on about me thinking of Tired Hiker when having sex? confused

Tired Hiker
I knew the one about staring at my ass as I walk out of the room. I get that from everyone.

lil bitchiness
Yeah, i do that!! Well not to you, but i do it...to guys!! yes

thumb up

stinkfist462
lol

Tired Hiker
No, I just type too slow. But do you want me to? embarrasment

lil bitchiness
Uuum...no, please dont! embarrasment

Tired Hiker
Okay, hang on. I'm going to send you a picture of my ass.

stinkfist462
laughing

Tired Hiker
Just Kidding. smile

lil bitchiness
laughing out loud hahaha!! oh please do!! Then i can put it on my wall and look at it when i exit the room!!

stinkfist462
laughing ok this is diturbing me .. im gonan head out

Tired Hiker
Sometimes, lil bitchiness, you just rock me to the core! rock*goes and buys a digital camera*

lil bitchiness
Sometimes? I thought i rocked you all the time....damn it! I will try harder in the future...

Tired Hiker
Oh, you always rock my existence! rock Sometimes, you ALSO rock me to the core. That is what I meant. smile

lil bitchiness
awesome!

You rock me too Hiker!! All the time! big grin

Tired Hiker
***** on Ritz!

Tired Hiker
Damn, it wouldn't let me spell t*its

lil bitchiness
I bought a photo camera yes and i named it!! Its called Gordon! thumb up
It has a flash too!! thumb up

stinkfist462
FLASH GORDON !

nazgulinthedark
yes

kalantiaw
those things were the realization that men woud never, EVER figure out what is going on in a girl's mind. and somehow they think that we men have the special ability to read minds. and they asbolutely mean "something" when they say "nothing". they also think that, after numerous attempts and failure, subtlety and hinting works. newsflash it doesn't, just be [email protected]#%$^ing blatant.

but the funny thing is, amidst all the arguing and complaining, we, men, can NOT live without our women love . that is why we are so good in sucking it up sick . and we know it is better to surrender even before any arguement starts.

Fire
hmm nice TH, thought I knew most of em already

lil bitchiness
All of them are so unbelivably true indeed!

Fire
okie cool

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