Pirate Jokes

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airangel429
Post your pirate jokes here! big grin

HERE IS ONE I FOUND............


An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the Cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they was pullin' me out a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg plum off!"

"Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook"?

"Ahhhh...," mused the pirate, "We was boardin' a trader ship, pistols a 'blastin' and swords a'swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."

"Zounds!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch"?

"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate.

"Ye lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Welllll..." explained the pirate, "..it was me first day with the hook."

airangel429
MORE JOKES! big grin

Have you heard about the new pirate movie? It’s rated AARRRRGGH! And do you know why? Because of all the booty!


How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing? A buck an ear!


Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH!


How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch!


Did you hear about the pirate who scored 20,000 points for the Lakers? His name was Kareem Abdul JabAARRRRGGH!


What is piratophobia? Fear of a sunken chest!


What’s a pirate’s favorite country? AARRRRGGHentina!


What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky!


What Star Wars character is really a pirate? AARRRRGGH-2 D-2!


What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him? His booty!


What does a gourmet pirate add to his dinner? A gAARRRRGGHnish!


How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? An arm and a leg!


What’s a pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation? A cAARRRRGGH! (to which one member of the club replied, “So, um, what’s a pirate’s first favorite mode of transportation?” “A ship, duh.”)


What kind of socks does a pirate wear? AARRRRGGHyle!


What has 8 arms and 8 legs? Eight pirates!


A pirate walks into a bar with this enormous steering wheel stuck down his pants. The bartender can’t help but ask, “What’s with the steering wheel?” “ARRRRGGH,” the pirate answers, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

airangel429
MORE
What do you call a pirate who poses for Playgirl?
A Play-matey!

How do you keep a pirate from robbing your house?
Fill you lawn with beavers!

What did the pirate say to the jokester?
Aye, walk the prank!

What do pirates do when ants start eating through their ship?
The buy and ARRRdvark!

What is a pirate's favorite dessert?
Chips A-Hoy!

Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH!

What's a pirate's favorite country? AARRRRGGHentina!

Phoenix
laughing out loud

Phoenix
my fave...

What do you call a pirate who poses for Playgirl?
A Play-matey!

airangel429
that's my fave too! laughing out loud

airangel
BUPMING

Machete_guy
Why couldnt the kid go to watch a pirate film at the cineamas?

beaceasue it was reated..Arrr...*slaps thie*

~Johnny.D_Girl~
LOL!!!!!!!!!

Unholly_Cheese
Wats a pie?......a half a pirateno expression

Sea Bird
^^^^^^^ hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! i love that!!!!!!

Unholly_Cheese
Ur kiddin? im makin these up as i go! LOL

tinkerbell668
lol well ur pretty good!!! Plus I've heard some of these before...somewhere...I think?

ArrghPirateGirl
LOL laughing Ure weird BU, MG, UC hoeva u r now

tinkerbell668
those are pretty good keep going!! errr heres one I didn't see on there *clears throat*

How much is it to peirce a pirate's ear?
A buck an ear!!!

I used to say that alooooot when i was a kid!!

ArrghPirateGirl
laughing

tinkerbell668
laughing any more??

Unholly_Cheese
wat do pirates like going too?


A competion to rate pies from 1-10-pie-raters-pirates god im bored

tinkerbell668
lol We can see!!

ArrghPirateGirl
LOL U & pies big grin

tinkerbell668
I know!!!!!!!

ArrghPirateGirl
big grin

tinkerbell668
what were we talkin about again?

BloomBabyGirl
BEST PIRATE JOKE

What has 8 arms and 8 legs?
8 Pirates!


MWAH HA HA HA


SORRY BOUT THE CAPS. MY COMPS ****ED

tinkerbell668
LOL its ok!!

ArrghPirateGirl
laughing

Unholly_Cheese
I dont get it huh

ArrghPirateGirl
Well that just proves ur dumb big grin

BloomBabyGirl
its ok to be dum wink

ArrghPirateGirl
Im Dumb big grin

Unholy_Cheese
No ya notyes

Scottie
Why couldn't the pirate eat any more pizza?
Because of all the pieces he ate....

tongue_ss

Scottie
What does a pirate use to read his future?
Parrot Cards!

tongue_ss

Scottie
What do a pirate and a bachelor have in common?
They are both lookin' for booty!

tongue_ss

Barker
lol

ivebeendepped43
Originally posted by Phoenix
my fave...

What do you call a pirate who poses for Playgirl?
A Play-matey! freminds me of Anna NIcole

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