Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

I've just found this on the net -- it's so funny!!!



Scene - Mordor, near the mouth of Udun. FRODO and SAM are standing on a dusty road looking in dismay at a huge column of Orcs in the middle distance advancing rapidly towards them. They realise that they can neither outdistance the Orcs nor hide from them. Capture seems to be inevitable.

FRODO
Bugger! Who would have thought that it would end like this eh, Sam?

SAM
Don't worry Mister Frodo. I have a cunning plan!

FRODO (wearily)
Oh I see. Is this as cunning as your plan to walk straight into Mordor because that is the last thing that Sauron would expect?

SAM
It's much more cunning than that!

FRODO
Is it as cunning as your plan to let Gollum guide us through the mountains?

SAM
Well maybe not as cunning as that, Mister Frodo.

FRODO
Exactly how cunning is this plan then?

SAM
It's more cunning than Cunning Jack McCunning, the all-Shire champion of "Mr. Cunning, 1253 TA".

FRODO
Well Sam, and I say this with a deep sense of foreboding, you may as well tell me your plan. At least my last five minutes in this world will be filled with the knowledge that there is one creature to whom I am utterly superior.

SAM
Who's that, Mister Frodo?

FRODO
Never mind... just tell me the details of this most cunning of plans.

SAM
Right. Well you see these little slugs all over the plain?

FRODO
Yeeesss...?

SAM
Well we each take two slugs.

FRODO
Yes

SAM
And we put one in each nostril.

FRODO
And then what do we do?

SAM
Nothing - that's it.

FRODO
So let me get this straight. Your plan is... to stand here with a slug up each nostril and wait for the Orcs to reach us.

SAM
Yes.

FRODO
Ah. Now I think I see the fatal flaw in this plan. And I use the word "fatal" in its most literal sense. When the Orcs reach us they will see two Hobbits with slugs up their noses and hack us into a thousand pieces.

SAM
That's the cunning bit.

FRODO
What is?

SAM (Conspiratorially)
They will be so busy looking at the slugs up our noses... that they won't notice that we are Hobbits! They will think that we are two Orcs and we will be able to follow them.

FRODO
Congratulations Sam! Of all the plans you have devised, this, even by your rather dismal standards, has to be the most dim-witted, contemptible, hare-brained, despicable excuse for a plan I have ever heard! (Picking up two slugs) It's worth a try.

Scene cuts - five minutes later the two Hobbits are walking in the midst of a thousand Orcs. The Orcs take little notice of them except to occasionally glance at the slugs in their nostrils.

FRODO
These orcs must be even more stupid than you Sam - it seems to have worked!

SAM
See Mister Frodo.

FRODO
Yes Sam, I take everything back! It looks like we might come through all this after all. Well done!

FRODO gives SAM a hearty slap on the back which send the two slugs up SAM's nostrils flying.

ORC
You've lost your slugs there mate. Just a minute - you're not an Orc!

The Orcs stop walking and gather around SAM in a threatening manner.

SAM
Ulp! It looks like we're done for, Mister Frodo!

FRODO
What do you mean, "we"? (shouts) Get the Hobbit lads!

For those who don't know, Blackadder is an English comedy show. In this spoof, Frodo is portrayed as Blackadder and Sam as Baldrick

Hahahaha omg that's funny! It's just i could imagine Blackadder and Baldrick as them - i love that programme it's great - Rowan Atkinson is just soo funny! It was just funny aswell 'cause it was just so stupidly funny!

i love it....i think sum1 shood actualy do lotr scenes in that style..i wood definately watch.....

lol lol lol

LOL I LOVE BLACKIE!!!!!!


i have EVERY blackadder ever made

do you omg cooooooool! I love them too theyre great and in school in history its soo cool coz they let us watch it when its like the end of the year or term or something

same here!!! the great western education...(in the words of edmund) 'you cant beat ut can you'


also i have

series one (quite like macbeth)
series two (qqqueeeennnniiiiie is cool...and melchott)
series three (prince george!!!!!)
series four..blackadder goes forth (death scene *sobs*

blackadders christmas carrol
blackadder goes back and forth (TIME MACHINE!!!)
the cavalier years



i have them all on dvd

at our school we only get 2 watch a Knights Tale in hostory...but thats during the term...n lets us do no work 4 3periods....

Uhh...je suis slightly confused, I see it's a TV show or something, but I'm an American, so I don't think I would get it, since it's in America and all. But I found the thing kinda funny...

baldricks cunning plans are great....must be a site dedicated to them

Yeah definitely! We got to watch a knight's tale too and i was very happy with that with Heath Ledger!! yummm lol
Iirima it's really great - true british comedy If you knew what Blackadder was you'd think it was even funnier

BLACKADDER IS GREAT

i also love..well il let you guess

'put a pony in me pocket..il fetch the suitcase from the van cos if you want the best 'uns but you dont ask question then brother...im your man '


and also FAWLTY TOWERS!!!!!!

Yeah!! Fawlty towers is BRILLIANT! John Cleese is sooo good in it!! And Sybil's laugh is so funny! (I dunno if I spelt her name right lol) This thread has turned into a british comedy thread!!

BLACKADDER SERIES ONE!!

http://www.butlersguild.com/images6/zz_blackadder1.jpg

SERIES TWO

http://www.bbcprograms.com/pbs/catalog/blackadder/images/0202_Blackadder.jpg

SERIES THREE

http://www.blackstar.co.uk/new_img/blackadder_gfx/blackadder_three_lo.gif

SERIES FOUR (goes forth)

http://www.bbcprograms.com/pbs/catalog/blackadder/images/0406_Blackadder.jpg

Oh dear Lord...that's quite big, sauron...

Cool pics sauron! I especially like the Baldrick one!!

the balrick one goe to the right and blackies there too holding baldricks 'escape kit' a wooden duck

yes i was watching the fourth series before icame on SO WHAT


http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/8889/bladder.htm

yeah lol i know that pic's great i didn't realise he was there until after I wrote my post but still lol!

Whoo, British comedy! I WANNA SEE IT! Sauron, mail your DVD's to moi! Hmm...somehow I don't think that'd work...BUT I STILL WANNA SEE IT! Cuz I feel left out... *sobs*

BRILLIANT!!! Who wrote that?!?

That's just...well, Blackadder and Baldrick!! I LOVE BLACKADDER! Yay for whoever thought this idea up and thanks for sharing Phoenix!!!

LOL

http://www.tpo.net/humor/Ultra/scripts/blackadders.christmas.carol.html


thats the script for xmas carrol...remember thats when he is NICE....yes hes nice in that one

LOL! Yup thanks Phoenix we would never have talked about all this if you hadn't posted the thingy! Awwww Iirima you should try d/l em or something lol but I doubt they'd be on here but actually I don't have a clue LOL!

i liked the second and fourth series the best,

i thought the xmas special was crap

this threads as cunning as a fox who has just passed his oxford degree
in proffessor of cunning

Xmas one was great

i like 4 3 2 1 in order lol

i have a cunning plan

how cunning

its as cunning as fox who passed his degree in cunning and is now proffessor of cunning in the oxford school of cunning plans

that's great how it works out 4 3 2 1 lol shows it was getting better as they made more!

goes forth on the last episode

goodbyeeeeee

the last moments

baldrick: oh looks theres a nasty spelk in that ladder..man could hurt himself

*whistle sounds*

blackadder: good luck everyone..*blows whistle*

lots of people: CHARGE!!

*scene of blackadder baldrick, darling and george charging...they disapaer and the barbed wire fades out and poppies grow*




and that is the end of

blackadder- the sole decendant of a great english dynasty
george: the last of the tuddlywinkers
captain darling: no more 'yes darling'
baldrick: the outcome of an unfortunate meeting between a pig farmer and a bearded lady

oh my god darlings funny bless him when that man (i cant remember his name lol) and he makes him go to war i feel so sorry for him lol! awwwwwwww!

general melcott

but sir i dont want to...

melcott: *buts in* go without me..i know but a trech is no place for a man with a wooden bladder

darling: no sir you..your not listening...please im beggin you dont make me...

melchott: *butts in again* go through the traditional de-bagging ceremony...no i spared you that too you great soft boobie

I love melchy... he's so cool! Although Balders is my absolute fave...

melchett in series two or series 4??

i like four

baaaaa

I don't know which I prefer...


queenie and flasheart were two of my faves too!


what is his catchphrase? I've gone COMPLETELY blank... I remember him dressing up in the brides dress tho, when Blackadders about to marry 'Bob'

"WOOF WOOF!"

WOOF WOOF!!!

AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU OR DID I JUST PUT A CANOE IN MY POCKET

i wouldnt let you here to stew in your own juices WHICH IF I TRIED ID PROBABLY DROWN!

percy: MY GOD
flashart: yes i suppose i am

i hate flashart lol hes just annoying lol

queenie is cool

and so is blackie hes so funny....

Heehee. Never seen that show, but I still thought the script was pretty funny.

i love the way he presents his lines

well balders im afraid the only way YOU will get a wet kiss this christmas or at any time i suppose...is to make a pass at a waRter close-it

I wanna see it BUt i'm american so i guess i cant. Soudns very amuzing though

Sauron, where did you get those big blackadder pics? I've been looking for some all over and only find little ones and wallpapers, none of which with good shots of Baldrick in the 4th season.

Blackadder wouldn't have the integrity to be a Ringbearer.