After The War

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sauron

sauron

Exa
*ROFLMAO* laughing laughing laughing

sauron
after the rise in fame...the fellowship (and guest) decided to be interviewed


Hermione Granger, 5th year Gryffindor Prefect at Hogwarts, interviews some well-known residents of Middle-earth.

Hermione: Hello, everyone! Thanks for being here.
Frodo: The pleasure is all mine.
Legolas: Well met, my fair lady. *winks* Its an honor to be in the presence of such a beautiful young maiden.
Hermione: *blushes* Oh, hehe...well thank you Legolas. So what was it like being the only elf in the fellowship?
Legolas: Well, it was an honor and privelage to represent my people. Of course, I never meant any elf maidens that could compare to you. *charming smile and winks again*
Hermione: hehe, well yes of course. *sighs* And you are such a wonderful fighter and...
Frodo: hey, aren't you supposed to be asking all of us questions?
Hermione: uh...yes of course. So Pippin, what was it like being in the presence of Gandalf?
Pippin: Gandalf? bah! That ol' wizard was nothin' but a showoff, eh. He was always talkin' aboot his great knowledge and how he was the best thing since pipeweed, and he always blamed me for everthing! "Stupid hobbit!" he would say, yoo' know. Fool of a Took this, Fool of a Took that. I never got no respect, eh. Gandalf, well he was just a crazy, ol' Fool of a wizard! So there! Go stick that in yer pipe and smoke it!
Merry: smoke what? I want some...
Hermione: oh my.. I sense you have some issues Pip.

Gandalf: Why, hullo dear Peregrin. Where you talking about me?
Pippin: uhhh no...
Hermione: Oh Gandalf! Its a pleasure to meet you sir. Can I ask you a few questions?
Gandalf: Of course, my dear. Afterall I am Gandalf the...White.
Hermione: How did you become one of the greatest wizards in Middle-earth?
Gandalf: Let me tell you alittle known fact, I am actually a Hogwarts graduate myself. Class of '23 in fact, Prefect too.
Hermione: Oh my! Really?!? What house were you in?
Gandalf: Gryffindor of course. That is the best house, isn't it?
Hermione: yes, of course. Ok I have a question for Eowyn. What is it like being a woman in Middle-earth?
Eowyn: Well Hermione, at first its like kinda boring you know. I was really bored with my life and after I met Aragorn, I was like "Whoa what a hunk". Ok well he totally dissed me and so I did what any girl would do in that situation. I disguised myself as a warrior and kicked some major @$$. And I even got married along the way.
Hermione: wow, very inspiring.
Faramir: Yes, my dear Eowyn is a wonderful maiden whom I admire most admiringly.
Hermione: That's wonderful Faramir, that you too met like that.
Faramir: Yes, and I would just like to say that I am often forgotten or left out and--
Hermione: Oh look its Merry! Hello Merry, how are you?
Merry: Hullo! How is everything at Hogwarts?
Hermione: Oh, er, very fine thanks. Hopefully Gryffindor will win the Quidditch cup again.
Merry: Quidditch, eh? I tried playing that once but I wasn't very good. I think I'm too short.
Pippin: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Hermione: Err..ok. Well back to some questions. So Gimli, I heard that you and Legolas became best friends?
Gimli: Aye, that's right, lass. At first, I was greatly annoyed by his Elvish behaviors, they are strange folk, ya' know. But after meeting the fair beauty of Lady Galadriel, well...sigh...
Legolas: *rolls his eyes* Oh come on, she's married Gimli!
Gimli: Yer just jealous! That she should give me a lock of her silky hair and all you got was a bow.
Legolas: It was an Elvish bow, thank you very much.
Hermione: So Legolas, how do you feel about Gimli?
Legolas: Well, he is actually quite polite by dwarf standards and smells rather better than most dwarfs.
Gimli: Aye, thank yee, lad.
Legolas: HEY! Watch the hair! It took me forever to get it like that.
Gimli: He's not kidding too. Try being roommates with him. He spends all the time in the bathroom. *shakes his head*
Hermione: I see.
Frodo: Hey, aren't you gonna ask ME some questions. Afterall I am the freakin' hero!

Sam: Yes Mr. Frodo is a brave and noble hobbit. The world must thank him for his wonderous deeds.
Merry: Uh, Sam, Frodo left.
Sam: Oh. Well that #!@*$%& loser is so #!@*$%& stupid! I mean he #!@*$%& complains about #@!* and expects ME to #!@*$%& do #!@*$%& everything!!!! What the #!@*$%& is wrong with that #!@*$%& son of a #!@*$%& #@!$*, and #!@*$%& quest #!@*$%& #!@*$%& of a #!@*$%&....

Sam: Oh, hullo, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: Oh Sam, I'm so glad you're with me.
Pippin: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Hermione: Oh! It's Aragorn!
Aragorn: Greetings, lady Hermione. Such an honor. How may I assist you?
Hermione: Well I was wondering what its like to rule Middle-earth?
Aragorn: Oh..that. Well its a very noble and honorous profession that takes great responsibility. Oh, who am I kidding? Its #!@*$% boring. Oh how I miss my ranger days. Being all rugged, independent, and a wicked fighter. sigh...
Hermione: Oh my. So you like being a ranger better?
Aragorn: Yes of course. But I think the real question is... what's up with Crabb and Goyle??
Hermione: Uh, what? Excuse me??
Aragorn: You know, Draco's "friends". Crabb and Goyle. They are always together. They even went to the Yule Ball together. I think there's something going on between those two.
Hermione: You know about the Yule Ball?
Aragorn: Of course, I have a subscription to the Daily Prophet. I told you, being King is boring.

Pippin: "...better than rain or rippling brook, is a mug of beer inside the Took!"
Hermione: Oh my, is he ok?
Frodo: Don't worry, that always happens after he drinks a pint.
Gimli: Aye, I dare say he's wasted.

Hermione: Uh, Merry. What are you doing?
Merry: umm...Nothing!
Frodo:
Arwen: Legolas is mah baby's daddy!!
Aragorn: WHAT?!?
Legolas: *winks*
Arwen: HAAA! Just kidding! We totally got you.
Aragorn: yeah, yeah. You did. Funny.
Pippin: Leg'las ish mah baby's dadda!
Legolas: Whoaaa! I don't know what you're talking about man.
Hermione: umm...this is kinda awkward.

Sauron: yo! whut up my peeps!
Frodo: Hey Saury, what's up?
Sauron: I just wanted to let you know that I have no hard feelings against you. I mean, all I did was lose my ring. I even put up posters and had a reward. I just wanted it back. And then your crazy uncle finds MY ring and do you give it back? NO! You destroy the thing. Did I ever take anything of yours and destroy it? I think not. But seriously, no hard feelings. It's all good.
Frodo: Oh right. Sorry about that.
Sauron: But that was pretty fun though, wasn't it? I mean I did almost get you. Well are we still hanging out at The Prancing Pony tonight?
Frodo: Of course.
Sauron: Sweet. Later!
Frodo: That Sauron. Always good for a laugh.
Hermione: Ok, about my interview?

Aragorn: Get this hobbit off of me!!

Tom: Ho! Hum! La a dilly dum!
Everyone: AHHHHHHH!!!! Holy Crap, it's Tom Bombadil!!! Run Away, Run Away!!!!!

THE END

Exa
*lol* "Saury"... big grin big grin big grin

sauron
lembas sales drop rapidly the ULTIMATE advertising technique is used



Merry & Pip watch Legolas and mutter various approvals

Legolas : Oh! Hi, I'm Legolas Greenleaf. You might remember me from such films as the "Lord of the Rings", "Bilbo Goes to Hollywood", and a brief cameo in "It came from Hobbiton". But I don't talk about that. I didn't kill a cave troll by modeling in front it! haa..haa. *Ahem* What keeps me going through these treacherous quests are. . . LEMBAS. . . Mmmm-mmm. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a full grown man, or Elf. No more using that bland Dale waybread--
Gimli : Guilty!
Legolas : -- and hobbits have to eat 6 sometimes even 7 meals a day! But not lembas, just one tiny morsel gives you the strength , grace , and beauty of the Elven-folk. Take it from me, Legolas, the noble, and might I add breathtakingly handsome, Elf prince who practically saved Middle-earth while traveling with the most annoying companions, and that dwarf! Ah Elbereth! When I'm not out protecting Middle-earth from foul evils, I endorse in products and make my own special lembas, Mirkwood style. Just listen to what these kind folk had to say after tasting a bit of my specialty:

Random Hobbit: Yes! Legolas's lembas are the best!
Haldir: Oh yes...my dear Legolas makes the most divine lembas I've ever tasted. I always feel refreshed after eating one. Especially since Aragorn gives me those massages--
Legolas: Ah, errr, oh here's Merry! Merry, so tell me about my lembas.
Merry: Yes...Leg-o-las. I ab-sol-utely love...lembas. They are the best...things...I...have...ever...eaten. Look at Pippin and give him a lemba.
Pippin: ??? I don't think you're supposed to read that part, Merry.

Legolas: *rolls eyes* So remember, have a lemba and maybe even YOU can have the grace of an Elf. Well probably not but you can try by ordering some of my lembas. See, I really need the money. My acting career isn't going so well and ever since Sauron was destroyed, well, business has been slow. No more evil things to kill. *sigh* Scrumptious! Here's a 'lil something for all the ladies--

Merry & Pip shake their heads in disgust and steal some lembas

Exa
"Take it from me, Legolas, the noble, and might I add breathtakingly handsome, Elf prince who practically saved Middle-earth while traveling with the most annoying companions" - sick sick sick

raven guardia
OMG!!!......thats funny laughing out loud

I like this part:
Arwen: Legolas is mah baby's daddy!!
Aragorn: WHAT?!?
Legolas: *winks*
Arwen: HAAA! Just kidding! We totally got you.
Aragorn: yeah, yeah. You did. Funny.

pip-foot
LOL. thats so funny Sauron smile did you make it up or what site did you find it on?

sauron
got it from a site big grin

jedi hobbit lol

pip-foot
lol. its very funny. come back to the Tig party. we miss you sad

Firithlotwen
hahahaha those were just great!!
i looove reading such things!!!!
thanks sauron!!!!!!

Isilcal
laughing out loud

Kitoky
laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing

Iirima
LMAO!!! OMG! Especially the part about Arwen and Legolas... laughingclappingclappingclappingclapping

sauron
big grinbig grin first page again big grinbig grin

sauron
lol stick out tongue been looking for this!

Kitoky
Ah yess....


you should write parody fanfiction.

Camellia
*gasp* Parody fanfiction!!

The bane of every LotR fanfiction writer!!! stick out tongue

sauron
hey can long time no...write smile

Camellia
Would you like to reword that please? stick out tongue

Me be confused.

sauron
long time no see wink

havent seen you in ages sad

Thorondor
i wonder why that is *cough* kit *cough*

lol j/k

sauron
well your soon banned thor stick out tongue

your a worse troublemaker than i ever was stick out tonguestick out tongue

*watched halo fail*

Camellia
Oh, I see. You see, you spelt my name wrong so I got confused.

I've been around: I just don't see the point of visiting here anymore.

This place is going completely downhill and is just filling up with useless threads. *hides from flames*

sauron
im not gonna flame you

it has declined a little, but ROTK is out and over with, it was always going to be the case

but i still visit here alot, as i made some friends i just cant leave

Thorondor
imagined if KMC crashed and everyone got wiped from the system blink most tragic event EVER!

sauron
that was random...

anwhoo if that happened....everyone would simply sign up again stick out tongue smile

Thorondor
what i meant is what if they couldnt lol

Camellia
I'd say..."Oh well!" stick out tongue

I am currently obsessed with LJ instead. big grin

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