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It's supposed to be a song, but it's written in poem format...

My Grandpa's Life
by: drunk_nazgul, Quellefalathwen, and Shadowskill

I want to shoot myself
My dog ran away
I wrecked my truck
And had to buy a Chevrolet
When I bent over to pick up my shotgun
My dang pants ripped, and I showed the world my buns
A tree fell on my mobile home
My wife left me, and I'm all alone
The cat marked its territory on my front door
I called its owner stupid and can't walk straight anymore

Chorus:
I'm living the life my grandpa did
Dreamin' I would ever since I was a kid
Now I wish my life would stop
'Cause I just got pulled over by a drunken cop

Can't shoot myself, I lost my gun
Found my dog, and finally got my homework done
Can't buy a Chevy, not enough money
But it blew up anyway and was really quite funny
This sweet girl thought my buns were tight
And now she's stayin' at my place tonight
My trailer is gone; don't have to worry about rats anymore
Soon I'm gonna have a wedding at Gulf Shores
I went over to the cat owner's palce
And wiped that stupid smile off his sober face

Chorus

Me and the cop are gettin' along just fine
Guess what? He bought me beer, vodka, and wine

Yes, fits in quite nicely.