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post random jokes about anything (i think this is going to be funny )

horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "why the long face?"







i tried....

Only you could think of a thread like this YC!

a man walks into a bar, ouch (crap, but oh well)

Clap, Clap, Clap! hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

Where am I again?

A guy walks into a fabric shop and says "I came here to get felt"

How do you get an elephant into a fridge?
Open the door, put the elephant in, close the door

How do you get a giraffe into a fridge?
Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in close the door

There's a huge animal convention going on, all the animals are there except one, which one is it?
The giraffe, he's still in the fridge

There's a river that is the home of vicious maneating crocodiles. There is no bridge, no stepping stones, no overhanging vines, and you don't have a boat, how do you get across?
You swim, the crocodiles are at the convention

well i ain't got any jokes, but i was at a pub inn last night and i asked the guy what the duck was like and he told me "It's liek a chicken, but it swims"

Once in drama I refered to sex as beeing like bungee jumping but with more screaming

Lol. Once i mentioned to my friend that he was unique, just like everyone else. Lol.

OMG! That may be not be a joke...but I found it funny!

Thank you. But you know its true, right?

two blondes walk into a building, you'd have thought one of them would've seen it!

Soz, I was talking to the post above you....

You know, I'm growing increasingly fond of you mate

i can't think of any more jokes

i finally found a siggy i like! my rabbit (RIP) and two peeps from FF-x2

Sorry about your rabbit luv

my great grampa was at hitlers bar mitzvah

How do you confuse a blonde?
Put him in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

How does she confuse you back?
She comes out and says she did.

How do you make a hormone??
dont give her any money !!!

teacher- what is a hormone?
child- the sound what comes from a brothel

ha ha ha ha

An english man, Irish man and a scotsman walk up to the bar and ask for three pints. They go and sit down at a table and waiter brings drinks to the table.
Seconds later 3 flies simultaniously fly into each pint. The englishman pushes his pint away in disgust, the scotsman takes his fly and flicks it onto the floor and the irishman picks it up carefully by its wings and shouts "SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD" SPIT IT OUT

lol

is it a him or a her?

And Englishman, an American and a French man are all celebrating in Saudi Arabia with a bottle or two, where even possesing alcohol is punishable, and all of a sudden the cheif of police bursts in and they are arrested.
After their court trial they are punished to 50 lashes each, but the policeman tells them all that because its his wifes birthday, he'll give them one request.
"Tie a pillow to my back" says the american, but after 20 of his lashes are throughthe pillow's shredded and the american's dragged away sobbing.
The frenchman steps up and says
"I want two pillows tieing to my back", but after 35 lashes the pillows are shredded, and he's caried away sobbing.
"What's you wish" says the policeman to the englishman
"Tie the frenchman to my back"

three blondes are walking in the woods when they find a set of tracks. the first says the tracks are bear tracks, the second says they're fox tracks and the third says they're wolf tracks. half an hour later, a train hits them (train tracks lol)

ohhh, ein kun, i likes ur little tidus dude in ur siggy

teehee good one lol
why was th eblonde staring at the orange juice carton?
because it said concentrate on it

knock knock whos there......yer maw

baaaaaaaaaa

ok, you might think its kinda gross....so if you get queezy dont read it. This guy is planing on having his girl friend spend the night in dorm but he forgot that he was suppose to babysit his little brother that night, so he tells him to stay over to. The kid slept on the bottom bunk, and the guy and his gf slept on the top. Now, sense his brother was sleeping over he told her that if she want him to do it 'faster' say pickles. If she want him to do it 'slower' say tomatoes. And if she wanted him to stop say lettece. So....for awhile she was like, pickles tomatoes pickles.......and finally she said lettece. Then his kid brother says, would you guys plz stop making sandwiches, your getting manase all over me...........

my friend told me this joke, i noe, its kinda perverted.

fish

hahahha, now i'm bumping my own thread kicking

Monika Lewinski took her dress to the dry cleaners to get it washed, but the cleaning woman was a little hard of hearing, so when she asked to get her dress washed, the cleaner said "come again", to which miss lewinski replied "no. just food stains this time"

lol

3 nuns die and are going up to heaven, but need to answer a question before they can get let in.
The first nun is asked "what was the name of the first man", to which she replied "Adam", and she was let into heaven.
The second nun is asked "what was the name of the first woman", to which she replied "Eve, and was also let into heaven.
Then the 3rd nun was asked "what was the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam", to which she replied "hmmm. Thats a hard one".

lol

A priest, a doctor, and a lawyer all died and went to heaven. There they stood before St. Peter, and he said to them;

"If you each answer one question correctly, you'll be admitted into heaven."

To the priest- "What was the name of the ship that hit an iceberg and sank on April 14, 1912?"

"Titanic" the priest answered.

"That is correct, you may enter."

To the doctor - "How many passangers and crew died that night?"

"1,503"

"That is correct, you may enter."

To the lawyer - "Name them."

any more jokes?

none?

I used to know loads of good jokes, but cant remember them any more