Michael Jackson Jokes

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TheProgramSmith
These are always classic. Thank God for Jacko and his wacky antics! Here are the only two I know. If you have any more, post them.



This man was very proud of his new car. It had all the latest features. His radio was even voice controlled. So he drove home as fast as he could to show his wife all the cool little features.
"Watch this hunny! You say, 'rock!'" The radio immediately switched to rock music.
"Blues!" The radio started playing blues music. As all this is happening, the man, in a fit of excitement, failed to notice a group of children crossing the road. The man turned just in time and slammed on his brakes.
"Fu**ing kids!" The radio immediately started playing Michael Jackson.

laughing


Why does Michael Jackson love 28 year olds?

Because there are 20 of them.

the only problem with the second one is that it is better told then written. It should say "Why does Michael Jackson love 20 8 year olds. But, you understand why it is that way! Thanks for understanding!

Rogue Jedi
michael jackson is a joke in itself.

eleveninches
/\ laughing out loud
The 2nd one is great!!!!

Why did michael Jackson put dairylea on his penis?
Because kid's will do anything for dairylea
(slogan from a dairylea TV advert)

Dogbert
What is the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael jackson?

Neil went to the moon and Michael sleeps with boys

TheProgramSmith
That was great, Dogbert! laughing

Darth Jello
how can you tell if mj is having a party?
the neverland lawn is covered with tricycles

how can you tell if a dog is mj's?
he's using an old nose as a chew toy.

TheProgramSmith
How can you tell it is time for bed at the Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand

eleveninches
http://williambader.com/mj.html
http://www.pasteeaters.com/funny_jokes/Michael_Jackson_Jokes.asp
http://www.laughnet.net/archive/jokes/jackson.htm
http://www.methodshop.com/fun/Jacko/index.stm

eleveninches
After Michael Jackson's wife had her baby, Michael asked her how long it would be before he could have sex.
She replied " For fuxs sake , let the little bastard start walking first !!!!! "



Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
A: "Feel the World."

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

How doe MJ pick his nose?
With a catalog.

What's the difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in.

How do we know MJ is guilty?
Because he's been fingered by several children.

How do you know when it's bedtime at Neverland?
When the big hand is on the little hand.


What is MJ's new book called?
The Ins & Outs of Child Rearing.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
A. Got 2 fives for a 10?

When is it bedtime at Neverland Ranch?
When the big hand is on the little hand.

Why does MJ want to be a jockey?
Because he heard they ride 3 year olds.

Rogue Jedi
why did michael jackson become the person he is today?

eleveninches
the top one of the links above has hundreds of cool MJ jokes

Rogue Jedi
cuz he is a crazy fukker. laughing

TheProgramSmith
no, a kid fukker. But, you were close, RJ

eleveninches
Q: What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
A: It's the little boy inside him.

Michael Jackson had a boy. He also became a father!
He asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have sex.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years old.

http://williambader.com/mj.html

TheProgramSmith
Poor Jacko.

He did it to himself.

wuTa
anyone see chris rocks jock about him..they were funny...."niggar come to court dressed like captain crunch" that one had me dyin laughing out loud

Lydia
MJ fell outta his boat. wot did he do?

grabed a boy! laughing

Freddy_vs_Jason
Q. What did MJ say to his phone card?
A. "You are not alone, because I am plastic too...."

Heres another:

Q: Why doesn't MJ sit too close to the heater?
A: Because he'll melt.

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