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There are times where i kinda just look outside and ponder, but not really about anything, as if something is missing. I never seem to have any idea what though, and it usually needs a good sleep to get rid of. Am i a nutcase or does someone out there have an idea of what im on about?

Whenever I feel like that (usually almost every night) I figure it's because I need to get laid... or have ice cream...

I get that sometimes too... I don't know why. I was feeling that way yesterday, kinda depressed and empty feeling thinking about life, so I got on my bike and rode around really fast for a while... Not only did I solve my empty feeling, I also discovered how out of shape I am

I feel empty almost all the time. I'm a depressed peson.
..and DR, yeah, tell me about shape...I am the most unathletic (is that a word?) person in the world..

Glad it aint just me. Usually a good sleep and mine is gone.

I've been feeling like that all summer, which is kinda weird for me cuz I'm usually a really happy peson, but it kinda hit me that I'm graduatin in a year and my life will no longer be predictable, I usually love change but this is a big one and everyday that passes it gets closer and closer, and also there's this lurking feeling in the back of my head, well a few feelings, first, we have no money for my college education, second my parents don't want me to chose the major I have chosen (Theatre) and thirdly I just am terrifed that I'll never be an actress, which has been my dream since i was old enuff to know what acting was and b4 then cuz i'd always put on plays n pretend games when i was 2, n i guess after years of hearing ppl laugh in my face (more specifically, family members), and tell me I'm wasting my intelligence n that I'm and idiot and that i'll never make it, I've just kinda started believing them and all that together just has me feeling like i'm not really here, just gliding thru life but not really alive, just empty

There are times when EVERYTHING seems empty. Like the other poster said though. Ice Cream! Ice Cream cartons are rarely empty. And you eat. And ponder. And the great thing is that after awhile that sweet taste affects your brain and ya realize life aint so bad after all!

yeah i've had that happen to me, normally i get extremely depressed and wished i was different than i am. But if i'm alon at the time, i'll find a dark place and sit there and think but if i'm out in public i'm mope around, and ignore people.

I really don't like when i get that way

all part of the game of life peeps.........

Haha ice cream huh? Ill be sure to give that a shot next time.

I feel that way all the time. It's like there isn't much too life.

I pretty much just work and sleep. If I'm not sleeping, I'm working, and if I'm not working, I'm sleeping.

I don't really see or communicate with many of my friends anymore, and I'm lonely. I need someone to be there, but my problem is that no man really understands my schedule.

I'm just kinda out there rolling with the punches and going with the same routine. It's gotten old.

Everyone should keep in mind that they are young. Life will change drastically as you all get older.

Too often

I kinda feel like that right now, like theres something missing in my life, I just cant place it. I dont know exactly what it is, but it gets me down.

I dont often feel like that.

I go to university, i have a weekend job, i do photograpy in my spare time, I meet people from all over the world daily, I come to KMC and when im back home i hang arround with my old friends and have fun.

Sometimes i do feel like there is something missing, but i think thats everyone from time to time.

I can't say I get this feeling often, but when I do it hits hard. My friends say I am the most happiest person in the world, but sometimes I just feel so down for no reason, it happens very rarely though.

What works for me is filling my spare time, I find ways to keep me busy, and keeping myself busy keeps me happy. Like I have a job, I go to school (summer break now), do photogrphy, paint, do things with my friends, make movies, do calligraphy, and volunteer.

If I'm ever feeling that way I just force myself to go do aomething that I enjoy, or I pick up a new hobby, and I feel like myself again.

I feel this fairly often, it's nothing new to me. I just group it with depression; when I feel like this, I rarely smile, and am indifferent towards everything. And I don't like it; to remedy it, I just do something--anything--that I like, and normally, that'll help out a bit

i'm pretty much the same way

Actually, replace 'sudden' with 'continuous.'

Well good god people.

Here's an idea, smile!!

I get that something's missing feeling, but I enjoy the challenge of having something to look forward to. If I had everything, if there was nothing missing, I'd get so goddamned bored! I know myself well enough to be able to say that if everything in my life was perfect and rosy, I'd hate it. Period.

Quiters! Get off the computer and do something fun.

Smile!

Don't be that person who walks around frowning. You probably don't laugh enough either. Stop conforming to your friends and be yourself. Also don't forget to drink lots of milk for strong bones!!!

That's a very good point!

The only thing that can keep a person keep down is their own self! If you get the blues try to get over them! Life must go on. If you feel emptyness try to find something to fill it in. There is a huge world out there.......go and explore it.

Guys... Just smiling doesn't make depression go away... You can't pretend you're not depressed when you are, it just makes the problem worse. I'm all for going out and doing something with yourself, but at the same time, saying "smile and laugh more" doesn't solve anything.

totally does.

Depression comes and goes.....you only make it worst by thinking that smiling and laughing doesn't make it go away. You people all think of the negatives, and you worry about Murphy's Law too much. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

you're all the same "emptiness" people who have steak knife marks on your wrist as some sort of cry for help as a youth. Get a life....

Uh, I have those marks on my wrists. They're fading, along with any traces of depression I once had. The depression will be back, I have no doubt of that. But just as they say "an apple a day" etc, it's pretty much the same concept with depression. A smile a day is one more than you would have had, had you not bothered. It's a small step towards happiness, but at least it's not a step back..........

And for the record, Mr Insensitive Shit, I don't recall ever using a Steak Knife.

Obviously, forcing a contrived smile won't help anything if you're truly depressed, that's just common sense. However, real laughter will help I think. So when you're feeling down, watch comedy central.

wooaahoho!!! Crazy with a butter knife huh? Cool, while you're at it...pass the toast.

And next time use a spoon...it's dull......i'll hurt more!!!

Agreed. No amount of sticky tape is gonna hold them droops up if you're truly depressed. But the fact that you're trying gives a small amount of satisfaction. A little glimmer of pride in the fact that you're alive and facing another day, regardless of whether your lips are up or down, is sometimes all it takes to start fighting depression. When I was at my lowest point, I never wanted to die. I already felt worse than dead, alive and feeling like I was missing my soul, my insides. So I forced myself to smile with at least one person, to laugh with someone, every day. Of course I missed days, but every time I managed to do this, I felt a sense of achievement. It was something I had done, and it reminded me who was in control. Me. And look who's here now, talking about it. Me.

Right, makes sense. I've never been depressed so I'll just take your word for it.

It's the So Cal weather BackFire.....it never brings you down.

I dunno, those little dipshit gots are Huntington High acted depressed all the time, despite the nice whether.

Every school has their goths....they're just as obsurd as "vampires"

Laughter is the best medicine for sure. I dont think im depressed so to speak, its more ... a curiousity really, trying to figure things out. Its only occasional as well, thankfully.

FFS Link, climb out of the cutlery drawer!!

Are you with me? Good. Now I can outline the way it really was. Should never have been, but was.......

About three days ago I found a very old face powder tub of mine that I had when I was about 15. It's got a screwtop lid, and another level beneath which the puff sits on. Just imagine my horror when I lifted the puff and laying oh so neatly beneath it were four razor blades. Blades that I had manually ripped from my razors and hidden in my powder tub.

I felt physically sick. At the fact that I went through so many motions, so much careful planning, all so I could carve myself up in order to make my world a better place. Not only had I done this, I had forgotten about it. My mind automatically erased my hiding the blades when I got myself out of the depression. I think it's true that your mind and memory can take on a life of it's own with regard to trauma.

Can I be brutally honest? Link, you'll probably think I'm nuts, but considering you never quite thought I was sane, I'm not too fussed. And BF, if you have nothing to say other than "lame", "sad" or "get over it", I'd rather you said nothing at all. Just a friendly request.

One of the most vivid memories I have of cutting myself is like watching a home video. Almost as if I am watching myself through someone else's eyes. I can recall all too well slicing my left arm 146 times and counting the gashes. To this day, I can't explain what made me sit and count them. The closest I can come to a reason is that perhaps I was, in some sick, deluded way, proud of my 'handiwork'. This is what makes other people assume it's attention seeking. But I can say truthfully that I told no-one about my antics for over a year, so I know that personally it was not for anyone else's benefit that I etched two inch long welts into my skin.

The one valid reason I still use to this day, to kind of justify to myself the reason behind it, is that it was, for me, pain transferral. If I had an aching heart, stinging pain in my arms made it abate. If I had a pounding head, watching myself bleed made it soften. I don't for one second expect you guys to understand, but I would appreciate a little empathy. Not just for me, but for everyone who has been through it, is going through it, or even knows someone close who does it.

I apologise now if my recollections have been a little too well described, but it was only for those who profess not to comprehend what goes through the distorted mind of a self harmer. I hope you can relate a little better now that I have let you into mine.

Night guys.

Link, for the record, I've never cut myself. I'm not one of those whiney little teenagers who pretends to be depressed for attention, I don't wear black and write the same cliched poetry that's been done a million times before by a million other faux-depressed teenagers... Obviously you've never been truly depressed. I have, and believe it or not, "put a smile on" doesn't do a damn thing.

What does help is to get your ass out of the house, go out with your friends, shoot some hoops, go see a concert, do whatever you like doing. Maybe I'm misinterpreting your reply, but this:

"Smile!

Don't be that person who walks around frowning."

...sure sounds like you think it'll just go away if you pretend it's not there.

I knew a girl in middle school who was like that, she always acted happy around her friends and other people, nobody who knew her casually would've suspected for a second that she was depressed... She was 13 or 14 at that time, which was when her parents decided to go through her locker at school and found a bottle of vodka or something in there. Same with my cousin, I saw her at parties and stuff, she acted fine, it was hard to believe that this was the same person who had tried to hang herself twice. So what you do around other people, or even how you feel around other people, is no indication of whether or not you're depressed.

Syren> Damn, sorry to hear about that Hard to know what to say to something like that, all I can say is, don't let the fact that you cut yourself before get you down again... That's in the past, and you can't control what you did in the past, only how you deal with it now.

Putting on a face pleases others who dont want to deal with you, but it does nothing for you, you still feel the same way, even worse because you can't get over why you're unhappy.

When I get sad or whatever my friends know better than to force me to smile, for me the feeling goes away quickly, and my friends understand because this happens very rarely, and they go through the same thing.

And for the record, I have never harmed myself, and would never consider it, I find other ways to deal with it I suppose.

Well good for you Irene, and I mean that genuinely.

Unfortunately, there are people out there who harm themselves, and many of them do not do it for attention, or simply cannot help themselves. It's the attention seekers and wannabe manic depressives who give the truly messed up people a bad name. And to me, that's really sad

DR: Thanks mate, no worries. It's hard to find something to say to that sort of thing, I didn't expect any replies, I just wanted to clear a few things up, get stuff off my chest. But cheers

Ummm...note the part where I said "get off the computer and do something fun"

Depression is all in your head, so yes you can simply "make it go away."
Your mind is what makes depression exsist, and your mind is what can make depression go away. You'll say "it's not that easy" but when it all boils down....that's exactly what it is.

You are only making your depression worst by saying things like "it can't just go away" Quit letting your damn emotions get the better of you.

"Putting on a face" and "acting happy" is complete and utter crap. I go through it almost daily with a girl I really care about and it's just because she's afraid to tell me how she really feels. She makes things worst by keeping them inside. If you have problems, talk to your friends and family about it, that's what friends are for. If you don't trust any of your friends, then maybe you should really consider finding new ones that you can trust.

Having a genuinely good time, and faking it for the sake of others are two entirely different things. Do what DR said, go shoot some hoops, go exert some energy, do the things you love most in life. If you still think you're depressed, that's only because you keep telling yourself you're depressed.

Actually, depression is a psychological disorder, and a type of mental illness. The real depression of course.
Its funny how this term gets thrown arround a lot.

And depression doesnt ''just come and go'' because if it did, psychiatrists and cancelers would all be out of a job.

We all feel down at times, that shouldnt automaticly = depression, if it does, well i suggest you see a proffesional.

clap

Kitten, you're spot on.

Depression and "feeling down" are two entirely different things.

With feeling down, a smile often works, but with depression it's a little deeper.

I don't realy know if i've felt ever been depressed because after all it is a phycological disorder, but as for emptiness i can say that yeah it comes and goes. Usualy its generated by not doing anything. Like it was posted earlier the best way to fight empiness, or as the term is loosly refered to "Depresion" is to go outside play, run, shoot hoops or just ride your bike for a long time. And if that's not your fortay then do what you like just don't mope around believing your worthless, or nobody, becasue the worse thing to do is not believing in yourself. Emptiness is ussualy triggered by low self esteem the best thing to do is prove yourself wrong.

For two ENTIRELY different things...they sure the hell go hand n' hand.

Depression by definition is characterised by a nullity of emotion so cannot encompass 'feeling' anything at all.

I'm not depressed, and I would never hurt myself, what i'm going thru is just too much thinking time to reason that my dream might never happened and without acting i am empty, it was what got me out of my depression years ago, and it is what i have loved since before i can remember, it's a part of me and the idea that i might never get it just hurts, i try sooo hard not to think about it but i cant help it, i have to much free time w/out school and i look at statistics and my parents constant badgering and it just gets to me, 80% of the actors in the screen actor's guild make less than 20,000 a year and only 5% make more than $25,000, ever since i was small i've known this is what i was going to do but know that i'll be out on my own i'm doubting myself, I have never doubted myself when it comes to acting, i've just known that it was a part of me but after 16 yrs of people telling me it's just a childish dream i've began to wonder if it really is a part of me and this self doubt is what's bringing on my unusual unhappiness

what your going through is a normal thing. You are in doubt of yourself because of a certain group of people believe that your dreams are childish. In fact an acting career is a very serious proffesion, i'm not in drama but a friend of mine this girl at school is trying hard to become an actress and well she has talent and takes it seriosus, i know alot of people who aspire to act and no its not a childish dream. What you should do is istead of looking at all the the negatives is try to find a positive spin on it. Also the more you think about it the more consumed you are by it. If acting is what you want to do then go for it think nothing of what others say. If you put all these things to rest you'll discover that deep down inside your a more confident person than you precieve yourself to be.

*quotes shaber*

"Depression by definition is characterised by a nullity of emotion so cannot encompass 'feeling' anything at all."

There you are Brent. Regardless of how close things may seem to one another, they can still be extremely different.

thnx predator, that helped, i just need to get back on the stage, summer leaves to much time for thought and personal criticism, unfortunately i didn't have money to sign up for an acting class, so i have to wait until august to get back to my natural habitat

Yes, I've been on and off through this, and have felt suicidal twice in my life, but never acted, once in 7th grade, because it finally hit me that I had become very heavy, and constant bullying, I thought suicide was the answer, but I just never did it.

There's a few of you who know the 2nd time, if anyone else is curious, and that I am close to you and feel I can trust you with it, and not bring it back to the board, because it also involves people who come/used to come here, and I am NOT having names blown out of proportion.

Yes, ever since I turned 18 May 24th, I've felt a lot horribly than fun, through some events happening, and a man who I have been friends with since I was 12 years old, and was my best friend from 12-14, had just gotten arrested for driving intoxicated/destroying his vehicle, and what hurt even more and made me feel worse is, I never got to hang out with him through high school, I only talked to him in home room and saw him at his job, and now...well...who knows...since we all know how courts are...he probably will be completely inbetween court/prison/freedom for atleast a year before going to court...and yes...he is 18 along with me...so I don't know what is going to happen, so this news surely hasn't helped how I've felt lately, but I care more about my friends and family then my own life, so I just don't take bother to it, and just remain alone and bored, and help my friends when they need it, hang out, laugh and the such, but they know, and I'm sure my mother does...I know my grandmother does for sure.

Uh, I tried to follow the gist of that last post J, but I couldn't quite grasp it. From checking the time of posting, I figured it's probably coz you were stoned. As was I when we were running around the forums at 4am this morning. Love you man

Chances are I was. Love you to.

if I ever get sane enough I can post it again more clearer.

"Chances"???

Uh, no dude, more like certainties

*cough*

Refer to the KMC Coven for a full update

All the time

Ok, you win, certainties it is.


What was I thinking in the Coven!?

I don't think we were. Thinking that is

Just floating along comfortably on a huge green cloud

sometimes

It's probably a natural thing then. Not depression, more so just feeling a bit er.. 'empty' every now and then. A bit of laughter, hanging out, and perhaps sleep always deals with it. Just gotta keep a clear head mostly.

Yep yep.

I think most people, if not all of us, feel a slight emptiness now and again. If our lives were completely fulfilled from the start, there'd be no point to our existence apart from procreation. Ergo we might as well be machines. IMO anyway

well i dont think i have eva felt that empty feeling