KMC Today
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Korri
KMC Today- All the news, as it happens
Saturday 17th July 2004
Raz has banned his avatar (which i like to call Mr Cuddles) for 2 days after an incident in the Queue of the local supermarket during "walkies". The Rabid animal mistook the old lady in front's leg for a side of ham. Luckily no long term damage was caused.
Tex was arrested after causing chaos at a nearby beauty contest. Realising that he was not one of the lucky people picked off the streets to be judged infront of celebs yesterday he attemped to threaten the judges by threatening to throw this entire collection of bjork CDs into a burning waste paper bin. Police are becoming increasingly concerned about his welfare as this is not the first suicide attempt the Forum Diva has made.
lil bitchiness has gone into hiding after speculation that the CIA are investigation her sucess, charisma and her all out b|tchiness. It was rumoured that the star would be making an appearance at her local sandwich bar but after this scare it is understood that she will not be purchasing any savoury products until further notice.
silver_tears has been spooted making a rather unusual purchase today. The star of "A Killer Movie" was seen at her local Animal sanctuary buying a Pink cow. It is rumoured that the cow produces Strawberry milkshake amoung other Strawberry flavoured dairy products.
The pchycopathic killer known as Korri is thought to have kidnapped the matrix star Keanu Reeves today at his LA manson. The maniac had this to say...
" well we all have to get some, one way or another and the guys that were on offer werent really to my liking....is this being recorded?? oh well, no thats a complete and utter lie, i would never do such a thing, its lies i tell you its all lies!!"
I was Korrio Idiovich and this was KMC Today detective
KMC Today- All the usless facts you will ever need, straight to you....our loyal members
Korri
Thank you for the positive feedback Readers
WindDancer
I want to subscribe! I want my news deliver to my door step!
SpikeSpiegel
Can't wait until the next one
furryman
that was fukin great
Chelsea23
i always do enjoy reading these things
Black Onyx
and what did Korri do with Keanu
lil bitchiness
damn those CIA! Im so sandwichless!
Clavis
whoohoo finally something interesting happening in " the source "
silver_tears
I'm so famous droolio
Tex
Rubbish tabloid trash!
I deny everything! diva
Jedi Priestess
well that was kinda cool Korri!
Smiling_Sadly
how come i wasnt in it?
LeAtHerRFace
Gj Korri
BingaBonga
Are you going to do this on a regular basis? It's great.
Silver Stardust
Korri, that was awesome
Korri
KMC Today- Todays news hot off the press
Monday 19th July 2004
Today sees the start of an interesting week where Korri The Queen of Random turns 16. This is supposed to symbolise maturity and "coming of age" but as we all ready know the wannabe Kung-fu kick ass queen is already a mature young adult. This should be interesting. More Updates throughout the week
furryman has announced that he is going to have a sex change. The former burly brawler will be not only changing his gender but changing his user name. So look out for gurlyman in the next few weeks.
Tex has unveiled his plans to take over the world this week. He hopes to edjucate more children about popular music and teach them how to be Divas & B|tches. In an interview with local press he preached that he would be shaping up a new generation of Super Divas and creating a perfect world for everyone. So be on the look out for Pictures of him plastered all over bill boards and walls and shops filled with Bjork...only Bjork.
I was Korrio Dearwotsthatsmell and this was KMC Today detective
KMC Today- Keeping you in the know...whether you want to know or not
furryman
Who says I won't be changing my sex lady
Korri
That is private & confidencial
Korri
Well we needed to know
Sauron
Thats brilliant
pinsleepe
is neo my grandfahter, then?
Corran
I see Korri has found a job in journalism and by the look of the stories she writing for the Sun.
Evy_O
that's currently the best thread in the otf
great
Korri
KMC Today- Its a conspiricy
Wednesday July 21st 2004
Today sees Global Idiot Korri turn 16. She reports that there is no difference in her behavour apart from the fact that she woke up hanging from the rafters this morning, upside-down with fangs sticking out of her mouth. She says that the worst thing about it was that she was alone, and she had a headache like the japanese earthquake of 1987 whilst not being drunk the night before...
more on this story later in the week
Tex has again been causing mayhem by trying to kipdapp Icelandic singer and pop sensation Bjork to host his private party that obviously nobody in their right mind will actually bother attending, The most shocking part being that our lovable Diva lil bitchiness was actually invited to the venue!
Tired Hiker has announced this week that he is Toby Maguire's stunt double in Spiderman 2. During the film all he could say was "Look at those biceps they are mine, god im hot look at me i can do it all!!"
These romours have since been quashed as it was found out that the 65 year old mother of a pshycopath, Korri was trying to be "hip"
I was Korrio Mygodicansmellfish and this was KMC Today detective
KMC Today- Stories that Pack a Punch
furryman
droolio most excellent dude
Clovie
i love the idea korrs!!!!!!!
m!$hA
how often do these reports come out?
Silver Stardust
These are awesome.
§words point
The stories about Tex are hilious
Corran
they're the editted versions too, Korri is shielding you all from the horrible truth
Korri
KMC Today- The Whole Story, in a rather large nutshell
Thursday 22nd July 2004
Raz the lovable Forum Administrator is reported to have magical powers. Today he was witnessed Ressurecting one of the oldest and most dead threads on the forum. It was inevitable an uninteresting attention thread started by Glitter Diva Superstar Tex. Other powers are thought to include banishing all evil and surfing the internet without having to dial-up or is that called broadband?? oh yeah that doesnt count.
Tex has announced today that he will be auditioning for next years Big Brother as there is not enough B|tching in the house and they need a housemate who is fun, lively and indeed extremely gorgeus. You can view his audition on America's Most Wanted later in the year.
furryman has been spotted in his local supermarket purchasing 500 packs of fushia pink hair dye. The star had this to say about the matter "Well what do you expect when my roots are coming through, you all know that i am amazingly furry and just one pack doesnt cover all my fur, who do you think i am?? Tired Hiker"
I was Korrimystarsignis Pyreximatesttubebaby and this was KMC Todaydetective
KMC Today- If you dont care fine sue us
Korri
word on the grape vine is that that is that last KMC Today for a week or so
RaventheOnly
Falls to knees NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Tex
So far I've been in every edition of KMC today! diva
I should expect it; seeing as I am KMC's most fabulously glamorous celebrity! photodivaphoto
Although I admittedly deny all of those wretched tabloid stories!
Not one ounce of truth!
Oh, when are you going to post KMC's obituaries?
The only place where lil and sil can ever hope to see their names in print! *snap snap* winkiss
Dr. Gonzo
Best Thread Ever....
furryman
my perfect precious hair must stay pretty pink
Discos
Discos actually reigned supreme over Sauron for the first time ever yesterday
Agent Elrond
There should be a SE for the server crash. Any fill in reporters?
lil bitchiness
Why wasnt I in KMC Today!!
*storms out*
Tex
You're last weeks news babe! schmoll
That's what happens when you're on the C-list!
I'm front page buzz! winkiss
silver_tears
Outrageous
Expect to see my lawyer sometime soon schmoll
Tex
Pfft!
Think I'm scared of your ambulance chaser?
Pawlease! schmoll
You need a new publicity agent baby-buns!
Take notes from me doll!
I've been all the buzz for weeks!
Later dahling, I have a cover shoot to do! diva
silver_tears
For Prison Weekly I take! winkiss
After all convicts are the only ones desperate enough to look at pics of you!
RaventheOnly
*builds bunker and hides in it *
Tex
Even hidden in your bunker you'll receive more publicity than Sil ever could! *snap snap @ sil* winkiss
Samurai Girl
hey whens the next issue coming out i need a laff
Korri
KMC Today - News that makes no sense!
Monday 2nd August
Korri reutrns to KMC and has no idea what the hell has been going on so therefore this is the only news
I was Korrio Mydarling and this was a very short but sweet KMC Today detective
KMC Today- Do you really care??
Dr. Gonzo
it is nice to see that the KMC Today is back.
Korri
in a way it never left
Korri
that smilie is weird
Vampy
senseless news, yay!
furryman
Korri's back
pinsleepe
hey, vamps, new sig! nice!
Tex
KMC Today has jumped the shark! schmoll
JToTheP
Wait.....KMC attacked a shark!?
lil bitchiness
C-list?? C-list!!!
Oh i should just....slap you silly with my purse!
m!$hA
yay the kmc today
ive been waiting and waiting and its finally here
Korri
KMC Today - Back by Popular Demand!
Saturday 27th November
It has been reported that a strange man wearing a Tinky Winky costume has mugged the Z-list Celebrity we know as "The Tex" The incodent which has been named "Handbag Wars" took place outside a Bouncy Castle in the City Centre this evening. It has been reported that 3 Bjork CDs and a set of Lights shaped like the male anatomy have been stolen from the star. But he claims that the lights are not his, they belong to his "friend" Mr Tired Thins This has yet to be confirmed.
Everyone's favourite Glamour Puss lil bitchiness Today revealed that she is releasing a book about her life. The auto-biography entitled "Being Bitchiness" will hit the stores next week and will make a nice stoking filler (if you know what i mean). We caught up with the star at a Local Sandwich opening ceremony for children who are allergic to ham this weekend. She had this to say.
"Well everyone loves a good story and what a better topic to read about than me.....im just waiting for that ponce Tex to release his expensive batch of toilet paper in competition with me, of course it will be pulped after the first day of being on sale because he is a worthless...
You can see the rest of this interview with lil After 9pm tonight on channel lil.
I was Korridr Evil and this was KMC Today detective
KMC Today- News your mother would enjoy.
furryman
*glances at purple pile in corner of room*
Frosty Beverage
...?
What makes that funny?
...?
Korri
wha?
Frosty Beverage
Korri, you must understand some people are not as intellegent as us.
Well...me.
Korri
no i think you mean me.
drunk_nazgul
lmao
Frosty Beverage
No, i'm pretty sure i meant myself.
Korri
no
Frosty Beverage
Korri, go to your room!
misha
its back
droolio
SlipknoT
I changed my avy thats about it.
misha
and what a cute wittle avy it is wub
misha
you could be the next korri
Aqua
anymore news??
Frosty Beverage
no thanks, im already his idol
misha
did you hear slipknot changed his avy?
Jackie Malfoy
LOL!Cool idea Korri!JM That was pretty funny!
Aqua
yep and i even got a t-shirt about it
Frosty Beverage
News Flash!
dunna dunna dunna (news humming tune)
Aqua asks: Anymore news?
The answer in 10 seconds!
After a small commercial break!
(news tune)
Frosty Beverage
no more news! detective
Go to bed!
Aqua
*changes channel*
SlipknoT
they're flying off the shelves like hotcakes!
Aqua
at least i got mine on sale
hh?
hoecakes are better
misha
how much?
SlipknoT
how much?tabletalk
misha
they fly?
Frosty Beverage
You have to cook 'em with chicken feathers, but yes.
SlipknoT
Yea!
Aqua
well the regular price is $70 and i got it for $40
misha
i so want one
im an expert at cooking things with chicken feathers
misha
$40? hot damn i must go out and buy dozens
Aqua
*changes back*
SlipknoT
I have 12 so far
misha
can i get a signed one?
Frosty Beverage
Aqua's back!
dance
SlipknoT
sure
misha
queen they call me misha - but now ive got a top signed by slipknot, ABOUT slipknot, it's QUEEN misha!
Aqua
me too!!!
Frosty Beverage
Hey, which one is me?
Aqua
ive always have been the dog
am now
and always will be
SlipknoT
why Not
* secretly signs it as Bill Cosby*
misha
i beter get a propor signed one cry
SlipknoT
o you did
misha
considering im on the cool kat list cry
SlipknoT
yea your right. * crosses off Bob Saget and signs SlipknoT*
misha
spankyou oh mighty one notworthyflirt whip2
Aqua
*starts screaming over bill cosy signature*
SlipknoT
screaming in a good way or a bad way?
Aqua
good...like im a HUGE fan
Aqua
no im not really a HUGE fan of him...i do like him though...
Aqua
Korri must hurry with the news
SlipknoT
I know we're running out of stories
Aqua
*takes Neo(forgot the actors name) away from Korri*
misha
keanu reeves
Clovie
DON'T TOUCH MY KEANU!!!!!!!!!! ranting
D-Double
Thems is fight'n words....
....Rumble!!!....Rumble!!!....pull her hair!.....go for the shirt!
misha
no, not the shirt cry
lil bitchiness
Oh yes, how absolutely fabulous!! fab my new book is about to be released!!
i love this thread
The Tired Hiker
Please leave me out of this.
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