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this is the way i would imagine spidey 3 to be here it goes.

(after main credits)

This story is like any other story. boy meets girl, boy looses girl, girl gets married, boy wins girl back but there are still some who hold a grudge against me, no matter what i do. no matter how hard i try, i cant give up living either of my lives but its the ones i love who will always be the ones who pay. my powers came with the responsibility to do whats best for mankind and to help the people of new york city. who am i. im spider-man



more coming soon

spider-man swings through the misty air and lands ontop of a very tall building. he gets changed into civilain clothes. peter, then jumps down and swings into a window. he opens the door and comes out of the bath room he runs towards and rusty door hoping to get there intime. he bursts through and there he sees doc conners. "parker, i was begining to think you werent coming". "sorry doc" peter said "i came as quick as i could. your theories sound amazing". doc conners glares at him. "er i mean. as they always are" pete said quickly. "quite correct" conners replied. "what do you know about lizard DNA". "once broken off it can reconstruct missing apendages" pete said. "and??????" conners sternly said. "and i suppose if man could do that..." "your finaly getting it. what would someone like me give to regenerate an arm. an industrial accident takes it away, an injection of hyberation DNA brings it back. so i have made a formula to regrow my arm." conners dragged on. "AMAZING" peter whispered. pete watched as conners took the syringe and injected it into him sholder. within a few seconds it regrew his arm indentical to his other arm. "YES" peter and conners cheered at the same time. all silence stopped as peter heard a loud ringing sound. it was his spider-sense alerting him of danger. pete shoved conners with his new arm away from the window as a huge explosion erupted, with a defening sound, through the room destroying everything in its path. a black floating figure with glowing yellow eyes came in and landed on the destroyed floor. pete knew who it was. but it was impossible. no. not here. not now. The Green Goblin?!?!?!?!?!?!?!...

MORE COMING SOON

you may want to spell an grammar check ur stories before you post...

sorry

You should post in past tense and try and make it a story instead of saying just whats happening to Peter.

It moves a little to fast one sentence doc connors has no arm the next he does.May want to expand it a little bit get inside the characters head.And I think Peter my have been a little more precausious of what Dr Connors was doing.

no. he thinks and knows that doc conners was and is always right. like docter octavious

Last time I checked he was skeptical about what Otto was doing too

I agree with Stormy Day, get into the characters head.

ok, from part 3 i will try and get into the characters head. part 3 will come tomorrow (last day of school today. i need to let of some steam)

And try writing about what peter would actually do and dont write the story so fast pace.

ok, is it a good idea to restart it?

It is.I really didnt like this part in particular

pete watched as conners took the syringe and injected it into him sholder. within a few seconds it regrew his arm indentical to his other arm. "YES" peter and conners cheered at the same time

Try and make your words discriptive, that way the reader is eager to see more, try posting in past tense, so instead of saying 'peter swings around the corner' say 'peter swung around the corner.'

His words where ok but his whole storys and the reactions from the characters where offbalance.

ok, i will restart it and thanks for giving me advice in future story writing

hows this, any better?

It was a dank and dark night. The light from the moon shone deeply on the calmness streets of New York. Luckily the city has a protector, a man who calls him self spider-man. 4 years ago a genetically modified spider bit a young teenager called Peter Parker. This caused Peter to under-go a serious transformation. He gained the abilities a spider had. A car-jacker killed his Uncle Ben. After he caught the criminal. He swore to use his powers for the good of mankind. He has come across many foes. Muggers, thugs, and Super villains. The Green Goblin and Doc Ock were his toughest foes. But a bigger problem will soon unfold as his super hero powers are going to be put the test.

Better,good opening

This is a lot better than the first sort of draft, but there are still some mistakes. Make sure you reread what you have written before you send it because readers are more inclined to read a story without any mistakes.

ok

I still think your moving to fast

oh come on. i cant describe how he swings how the city or how he swallows things or anything like that. it will take to long

Thats what writing a story is all about.If you wanna settle for half best then just say so

That was pretty rude, Stormy Day. I think the story was all around pretty good. It was a 100% better than the first draft. Keep writin. I wanna see what happens next!

It was good and im not trying to be rude.I was merely giving him suggestions on how to make the story better.Forgive me if I came off wrong.I just think that you should spend a little more time on it my geuss is your writing these stories in 5-10 minutes

ok

Suggestions are entirely allowed. Saying it might be moving too fast is fine. Saying it sucks, on the other hand... *makes throat-slitting motion*

Yea, I know. I understand that people can say the story is moving too fast. What caught my attention was when Stormy Day said the thing about the story being half best. It kinda seemed sarcastic and rude, but we've already discussed that

It's all good! I'll cut the talkin so I don't take over The Ones' thread!

more will be posted either later today or tomorrow. i was at my friends house and i havnt had time to write more

that was cool, man! That last part was the best part, and I was thinkin how it would look on the big screen, and it would be a bite-your-nails scene. there were only a few mistakes in grammar, etc..., but hey, we're not perfect, and i didn't even notice them until i read it over a second time. i'll bet i and everyone else make mistakes in our stories too. Overall, really cool!

thanks. theres a huge twist in part 5

Flash tompson your kidding right

it all gets explained in part 6

um...Flash Thompson? okay i guess i'll have to let u explain...

sorry i havnt posted more. i was in scotland. i was going to tell you but my internet screwed up. heres whats coming up in the next few parts:


1.the lizard attacks
2. The Green-Goblin II and his army fight with spidey over New York on gliders.
3. the symbiote story comes into play
4. after fighting goblin spidey gets his legendary black costume
5. lizard and goblin team up to finish ultimate spidey
6. a cliff hanger leads into a 4th spidey movie/story

Didn't like part 6 could of been alot better

i just wanted to explain the plot so you undertand what happens in the last 3 parts

IMO you should deal with a prelude criminal sequence to once again introduce Spider-man. For example, Spider-man is doing his rounds and he hears screaming down below. He goes to investigate and there's some strange looking weirdo in Rhino suit robbing an armored car. All of a sudden a blast of energy hits the armored car and launches it into a Starbucks across the street. Another weirdo in a strange costome with weapons on his hands like shockers wants the loot too. The two battle it out and Spider-man must be the referee. Spider-Man takes on both of them. Small criminal types, you know. Once Spider-man finishs with them, he hears a familiar laugh... Etc, etc, etc.

That's how I would start it!

very poetic like