In the deepest depths of hell. Jason, leatherface and freddy sit in there eternal torment. Freddy sneaks into leatherface and jasons dreams and frees all of them. In spokan washington the monsters free themselves.
Little did they know, however, that the ghost of Kurt Cobain roams the Pacific Northwest and infiltrates the dreams of today's youth with rebellious rock lyrics. Kurt first challenged Leatherface, who, being the most mortal, was easily dispatched when Kurt launched a missile from his specially-strung guitar that tore the leather from Leatherface's face, revealing him to be quite handsome. A vacationing talent agent, watching the fracass from his tent in the woods, immediately signed Leatherface (hereafter known as "The Charmer"
to a three-picture deal to star alongside Heather Graham in a series of films about a secret agent who turns into a dog.
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"I don't like that title!" moans Heather Graham as she slips me the phone number to her house in Acupulco, hastily scribbled on a cocktail napkin of the Hula bar where we've met to discuss our collaboration.
"Well, Heather, honey, 'The Charmer' likes it, and I like it," I plead as the Charmer grunts assent. "We could do some focus groups, take it before some test audiences!"
"I dunno, sweetie," Heather continues as she runs a manicured finger up and down her miniskirt-clad, smoothly shaven leg. "You know, I got a call from Freddy and Jason, who have started a production studio in Spokan, Washington. They're trying to lure me away, along with several other A-list hotties and studs."
"First of all, Heather," I retort, "Spokan is scheduled for demolition, which is the only reason Freddy and Jason were able to pick up the land so cheaply. Second, I hear that SPOKANE, Washington is the next big opportunity. Silver mines, amusement parks, a booming economy, the works!"
Heather's brow furrows alarmingly. "B-but...I heard that Spokane is on top of an ancient Indian burial ground! Maybe I should just stay here in Hollywood!"
"Suit yourself, doll," I mutter as I scoot off the barstool and casually toss a fifty onto the table to take care of the waitress. "Charmer and I have to get downtown; we have a meeting with Mr. Ovitz in half an hour."
Heather smiles demurely as we walk away, ever planning her Machiavellian schemes to undo us all. "You'll see," she mumbles. "You'll see...."
The night air was full of terror as Jason stalked the backwoods searching for victims. He came across a group of teenagers and brutally murdered all of them.......
Then Freddy showed up and they had a luau. The end.
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