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Ok, so i've worked on this song the past 2 nights, and it's about the rnc in nyc and the protests and all what's going on. I just want some feedback. I already know it doesn't flow, some parts do, but most of it is pretty choppy, i'm eventually gonna fix all the choppy parts, change wording and stuff and hopefully i'll add a beat to it on fruityloops or something. For now i'm mostly interested in just the lyrics. So any feed back is welcome. Please please comment with something helpful whether you like the song or hate it.


Title: Isolationist Poise

This is the most important
Most deadly
Most real times of our lives
Nothing could get closer than this


Verse1:
The black box is raging
Metal grenade shards flying
Towards your white pearl steps
They showing you this soldiers death
But you think you can breath down our necks
Telling us this tax cuts will eliminate our debts
I got one word to describe you, mother****er
you can't just absorb us, accept the truth
instead you insist to ignore us
But we'll always be here, the poor, the demorat, the liberal, the left
You left us out of your 4 year plan, but now we coming back and we got our own agenda


Chorus:
Destroy the streets, destroy the block, destory the cops, destroy his lock
on this mighty mighty democracy, we got it in our palm, now that we're pressing on
Destroy the state, destroy this place, destroy the presidential race
we got on lock-down, so your gonna have to push us out before we give it up
Destroy the south, destroy the west, destroy the massive support in texas
we can't let this worthless ****, rule with an ironfist for another 48 months


Verse2:
The cost is monsterous, popostorous, but who's paying?
NOBODY BUT US!
175 billion and rising
Tanks, planes, m16s, grenades, extra armour and our coalitions praise
You think you can buy our love?
Why don't you try bending over in a prison full of arabs in the buff
You imprisonate, you incriminate, you silence, and you violate
the international community is pissed, take your catholic laws and shove it
Apparently the man who claims to rule us all will wage a war in the name of god
We might as well be ruled by osama who dropped the towers in the name of allah


Chorus:
Destroy the streets, destroy the block, destroy the cops, destroy his lock
on this mighty mighty democracy, we got it in our palm, now we're pressing on
Destroy the state, destroy this place, destroy the presidential race
we got on lock-down, so your gonna have to push us out before we give it up
Destroy the south, destroy the west, destroy the massive support in texas
we can't let this worthless ****, rule with an ironfist for another 48 months


Verse3:
Get out of my new york ****in city, home of the brave, home of the restless
we don't want you, GET BACK OVER DERE, get out of my town before my posse rolls around
250,000 angry new yorkers will crowd our streets while you attempt to justify our downfall
Why don't you stick your head where it belongs
back home screwing your wife, while your daughters watch on
i'll tell you one thing i'll democracize your wife's pussy while she's sleeping
make her have my baby then say your the father
make you turn your head around and wish we had abortions now
you'll have to deal with this political crisis, as your cabinet is damaged from the storm
angry conservatives will yell at you, scream at you just for having a different side to fall back on
Now we're New Yorkers and that's what we'll always be
working class, slavin over bills that we payin
what can you call yourself? nothin but rich, grew rich, lived rich, thought rich, you spoiled rich
you don't deserve it
can you really relate to us all cause you shook some heros hand after the towers fall'd?
we're not idiots
we don't even support our own candidates cause
a political pawn, indecisive, weak, probably got panty's on
so you wanna know what road i'm on
the side of america where civil liberties are anything but gone.


Bridge:

Police beatings, senseless
Protesters words, worthless
All i know is it got witnessed
Cry'in out, pointless
Sea of blue, endless
when will they start protecting the ones they be fighting
So i'll break myself off, i'll run down this block
i'll purchase no right, to fight for this cause
I'll fight for true freedom, and know what it means
But they'll strip it away from you then from me


Chorus:
Destroy the streets, destroy the block, destroy the cops, destroy his lock
on this mighty mighty democracy, we got it in our palm, now we're pressing on
Destroy the state, destroy this place, destroy the presidential race
we got on lock-down, so your gonna have to push us out before we give it up
Destroy the south, destroy the west, destroy the massive support in texas
we can't let this worthless ****, rule with an ironfist for another 48 months


Last Verse:
They're blind to see, that what we claim to be fighting for
Freedom is a nice word
Throw it around some more
Bush blasting war metaphors
I'm a no-gooder, like dave chappelle talking to the man
Southern town, population of twelve
"We can't help it if the niggas abuse it, claim they need it"
*****, i'm talkin bout welfare.
2.5 million lost, and the battle's not nearly done
Bush started the battle, and now he's prepared to run
I'm talkin bout our jobs workers are losin
Like the NRA tryin to keep track of they guns
What kind of world i'ma grow up with
My job, my life, my rights can be lost not once, but twice
Twice, is terms we electing for
don't make that mistake, vote 'no more'

Chorus:
Destroy the streets, destroy the block, destory the cops, destroy his lock
on this mighty mighty democracy, we got it in our palm, now that we're pressing on
Destroy the state, destroy this place, destroy the presidential race
we got on lock-down, so your gonna have to push us out before we give it up
Destroy the south, destroy the west, destroy the massive support in texas
we can't let this worthless ****, rule with an ironfist for another 48 months


If Bush wins, i predict these things, foreign worlds will hate and american will lose it's core
Nobody will flock to the former hotspots, New York, Chicago, LA, will all be gone
But that the way the story goes, typical american values are supposed to be better then theirs
They'll come to resent, disrespect, protests, and nobody blames them cause they're rightfully torn
Bush will find a way to devalue the money that we worked so hard for
10 dollas turn to chump change, atm gives out 25 cent, and 1 coin
But isn't that what conservatives plannd us for, and uninterested isolationist poise.

oh come on...please lay some feedback down people.

wow thats amazing

not a fan of political statements in music, thats why i didnt comment :s

I liked it, but i find it hard to read lyrics... I don't got a beat.

hmm aspiring punk rocker here

Generic

Great song.

hi, thanks anything in particular you liked? anything i could change? i would really appreciate anyone's input

COO COO !!!

My god! Do you hate everyone and everything? That song is amazing.

that was awesome... i loved it

Great ambition, but need's to be more open minded than burning down bridges to have true meaning. I'm not shittng on your writings by no means. Was impressive to see actual thought adapted into a rythm. you and whoever else can be passionate writers one day mayeb, but maybe a bit broadening of the minds can help shape and give true meaning to words,rather than a repetitous cycle that never ends in heated debate. good stuff though man,keep writing.

good

sorry your subject matter really turns me off thats all imgoing to say anything else i would say would start a fight

Pretty good. A bit sketchy, but I must say I agree with the actual commentary.

i thought it was good..

so your problom with bush is the fact that he wont pull out of iraq right?

thumbup

no, my problem with Bush is everything he does....but anyway didn't you jsut say you didn't want to start a fight over this....well lets not do that here, we can do that in GDF

is that a thumbs up to my song? If it is thanks yo. Thanks to everyone who's liked it.

dude. its amazing. i have finally found someone else on this forum who hates bush. everything in that song i have used somewhere arguing with someone.

Dude, there are many anti-bush people here. You just need to go to the General Discussion Forum and look at the Bush thread. It's a heated debate.

Thanks yo, i appreciate it.

you guys all hate bush huh well im intrested has anybody heard that demecrats are trying to bring back the draft and kerry does not even plan on pulling out of iraq for another four years after this election in four years we will be electing another president and then kerry could get elected useing the same platform he used in this election

check out this link to read more about it
http://www.house.gov/mcdermott/pr_draft.shtml

also now back to the song what is your goal in music to make music or get your message across ?
i think it should allways be the music first
if you have a message it should be criptic and people would have to work for it
you would get alot more people to hear your view that way. some people would see your song as an anti-bush protest and then pass it over
but if it was not so blatent then they might not pass it up and give the music a chance and then they would hear what you have to say

i was reading through your lyrics again and i also think they controdict them selves





now you say that you are are the left the democrat and that you have mighty democracy but then you also say to destroy the presidential race
now if we had no race the it would not be a democracy

now with some of your coments you seem anti war and gun but then you say you would rape and impregnat his wife wile shes sleeping
so that he could belive in abortion



thats like saying war is wrong but rape and killing unborn babies is ok

i did like this part



and this part also was set up well

umm...that's not hte draft. It's mandatory military service for EVERYONE like they have in many other countries. Also, the bill is dead in the water. Not to mention one of the reasons they brought the bill up is to increase public opinion against the current unjustified war in Iraq

ok first off i appreciate any critizism, so thanks for critiqueing my song i can definetly make it better....but on the democracy part... said "destory the presidential race" and i meant that figurativly...as in "destory it by voting" don't let it come down to a supreme court decision who wins again....maybe i should change the wording...something like "overtake the presidential race" something along those lines...as for the rest i was trying to be vulgar/explicit....it was meant to show how angry i am at him, so yeah it seems kinda violent at parts, but it's not hypocritical, it's not liek i'd actually rape his wife.

so to help stop the war they are trying to pass a bill to send more peopple over there and on top of that people who have no want to fight for their country

lets look at it like this lets say someone gets called in for duty that does not support our goverment and then we train them to kill use weapons explosives and other such things then you will have someone who does not support our country that knows alll this deadly shit whats to stop them from becomming a terrorist

Hey, fellas, this is the Music Forum.