If I was a dictator, the B!tchland would be...

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lil bitchiness
Ok so Ush gave me a great idea, to make a thread about what the B!tch land would be like, if i was a dictator...

I have included members of the KMC I hope no one gets offended, its only for fun....i have arranged the jobs and ranks i would assign to certain members of KMC in my dictatorship.

I have done this one the bases of whos good at what, obviously, i would want to create my dictatorship stronger, so the jobs would be handed out as i would see would benefit my empire...
Lets presume all these people are my most trusted and loyal men/women....
Many of them are mods on KMC, so obviously they are good at leadership skills as it is, to be proclaimed moderators.

So basically this is how i would structure my dictatorship...

lil bitchiness - I would be the dictator. No democracy and no compromise!

Raz - I get on with Raz really well as it is, but that in this case is absolutely irrelevant, but since, he is already a leader in a sense, he would be my private secretary...smokin' I was thiking of giving him the job of being the leader of my propaganda machine, but that would require extra work for him...its quality i require...

yerssot - the head of my propaganda machine. This includes the TV, newspapers, books...etc. Sensorship!! Crutial.
Propaganda is very important for any dictatorship..so mine too.... And since yerss is good at bullshiting, this would be the perfect job for him...(its a compliment yers wink )

Ushgarak - Seeing how this is a dictatorship it is vital for us to mass mobilize, so I would have Ushgarak as the military leader, of the B!tchland army , responsible for the mass mobilizing!! yey! (you can see that turning out well...teehee )He would pick the apropriate people to work for him...id have to aprove of course! Fire should be there somewhere in all the military talk...

BackFire - head of secret police...for all those who dare to oppose the lil bitchiness (all dictatorships had one, i want one too, have diegocala there is a MUST)

Badkittykitty - head of the minister of Health and is authorised to issue instructions to medical organissations of the governemnt ( got to have smart beautiful woman to be in charge of health...very crutial)

Tex - my forgein minister (so he'll be abroad somewhere most of the time...stick out tongue ) also keeping it cool with countries arround...he has a great judgment, im trusting he wont get us into trouble of any kind...

The Omega - in charge of education...also requiers propaganda, and children will be thought what i decide they are to know...

Mechmoggy - I think i'll have good ol' Mech there in charge of economics...he will be the head, there will be other people working for him, such as Dave123...its gonna be more of a ''funny economy'' blink

silver_tears - she will be head of a ''workers union''. Of course there isnt going to be one, this is only for purpose of people thinking that they are being listened to and have some freedom...since people like her, they will believe her...that should reduce strikes and unneccesarry BackFire resolutions which would = many people hurt.

burlyman - there to make feel the rest of us feel REALLY smart no expression

All of the people above will have people who will work for them...

So...the life in B!tchland....

We would be mass mobalising because thats what dictatorship do...well most of them anyway, but that doesnt mean we are getting ready for war...not if Tex doesnt throw a Diva tantum at some conferance...then we're screwd...
Severe sensorhip, so nothing bad about me or about B!tchland is to be saidor implied at any point...
Education is going to be important, but people will learn what i decide it is suitable...
Hopefully economy would be ok..ermm we have Mech and Dave on there....i know money would go on Ush and his army...but...yeah...thats dictatorship for you

Any one who dares oppose will be dealt with by BackFire and the secret police...dont even bother trying to rise against me blink

People would be made to believe that they have some kind of freedom when in fact they have no say and no influence in anything! People should be satisfied...

My dictatorship will have no discrimination of any kind, discrimination leads to groups of people rebelling and such, which will result in many people killed, and thats a nono as well...unless you try and raise against me nono then you are gonna ''dissapear mysteriously''...

smokin' Ladies and Gentelmen welcome to the B!tchland!

Ushgarak
I think it is vital for the security of B!tchland that we invade our socialist neighbours, Leftoto.

silver_tears
*sits behind desk looking important* cool

leatherface12
Can I have a job? Please.

dave123
laughing out loud quite a read lil, quite a read laughing out loud

and worth the wait yes

lil bitchiness
Ok, jacksparrow22 - Tex's supervisor....to make up for lack of Tex in B!tchland! yes

She will supervise him from afar...and suck up all the glory big grinthumb up

jacksparrow22
oh yessmokin'thumbs_up

lil bitchiness
OMG!!! laughing out loud

Leftoto!! laughing out loud

Ushgarak
Damn dangerous, those Leftotans...

jacksparrow22
laughing out loud

silver_tears
what the feck is a leftotan huh

Ushgarak
A person from Letftoto, duh...

See, this is why *I* head the army...

CaPtaInCLaUdiA
this sounds cool!

can i be something!!!!???

ash007
mmmmmmmmmm

What if someone kills you with A POSION cigar devil

I know it didn't work for the CIA but it might work for me.

ash007
Also you will need a Intelligence agency smile

lil bitchiness
There was no one else as disciplined as you, Ush. I was thinking about puting you as an advisor of some kind, because of your broad knowledge...in...well..everything blink but then my army wouldnt have anyone....so you head the army!

Leftoto is gonna pay...for being so...left! mad

ash007
ok does anyone ever feel they are being ingnored

i wonder what i can getaway with
mmmmmmmmm

aa i am going to bed to have sex
bye

Xena fan
This is another absurd pointless thread! Why are the moderators permiting this? Really Raz needs to put a STOP TO THIS!

jacksparrow22
What the f**k? what the f*ck!!!!! a MODERATOR (ush) gave her the idea to make this thread! quit telling them how to do their jobs and go back to your xena thread and not into threads made by people that you clearly have pissed off and may or may not highly dislike you! for gods sake!!!! mad

Xena fan
Okay! You need to step back from me! Im only GIVING MY OPINION! i Have nothing to say to YOU anymore!

§pearhead
Xena...I'm going to try to say this as nicely as possible. People who dislike other people don't listen to what the other has to say. No matter what.

Continue on, everyone else...

jacksparrow22
"My dictatorship will have no discrimination of any kind"

ooo im so sad that you have nothing to say to ME anymore...cry cause you seem to have a problem with shutting up, i expect this not talking to me to last for...hmmm...3 seconds thumb up

besides why did you come in to milas thread anyways?roll eyes (sarcastic) are you on this list? i think not.

lil bitchiness
OMG!! I got to call Ush!!

There is a leftotan in sight!!!!!!!!!


gunsmilie

CaPtaInCLaUdiA
aww i dont have a job! this blows

AliasNeo15
id hav all the convicts live in their own state and drop a ton of drugs and weapons in an area and have it on TV every Sunday. That would balance the freakin budget here in Calibig grin

lil bitchiness
Unless you are hierd by any of the main people...sorry...

seriously, i didnt make that one based on the randomness, i made them based on the what each has to offer..

raz - good leader as it is - leads KMC in a way

yerssot - well you know him, hed totally get his way arround with the sarcasm and the bullshitting..i love it

ush - he is super disciplined = army

backfire - blunt, straight foward, he seemed like someone id give secret police if i did make a dictatorship...

etc....

I did actually hand everyone a job on what they are good from what ive seen at KMC!

big grin

jacksparrow22
thats terrible!cry

AliasNeo15
^i meant to put all the rape and killer convictssmile

silver_tears
and she was giving you hers so maybe you should step back yes

silver_tears
coming through important person raverlaughing out loud

AliasNeo15
i think that drugs should be legalized, we would make money like nothinsmile

silver_tears
now thats just dumb stick out tongue

AliasNeo15
well, i dont really do drugs, but for the drug dealers that are millionaires and billionaires, the money would go to good use atleastsad, sorry if that was dumb, there was good intentionssad

lil bitchiness
Excuse me....this is a fun thread

No need for serious discussion here, please dont post stuff like that here!!

AliasNeo15
sorry, im an idiot, wont happen againno expression

lil bitchiness
Yeah, please refrain from saying such stuff...

AliasNeo15
laughing out loud priceless, i think it would be better if i just dont post in here. thank u

Dogbert
Seems nice here thumb up smile

tptmanno1
Socialist Rebellion!!!
gun_bandanagun_bandanagun_bandanagun_bandana

lil bitchiness
OMG, you are one of those leftotan socialist people arent you...

We have a secret weapon..behaive or Ush will release terrible stuff on you....most probably Tex...

stick out tongue

AliasNeo15
no expression

Barf Heaven
Hey lils can I be the Head Chef of B!tch land? I'm real good at quietly eliminating enemies of the state during fancy dinners, if you get my drift wink

lil bitchiness
Oh, of course....

Make sure no one poisons my main people cry or i'll be overthrown....

Barf Heaven
Don't worry, I won't let any harm come to the Diva or his fellows cool *mixes various vials of liquid*

AliasNeo15
shifty sounds like fun

Barf Heaven
Don't make me poison you stick out tongue
j/k
It is, believe me, it is shifty

badkittykitty
As the head of the minister of Health everyone needs to step away from Xena fan I am quarantining her * hands out bio-hazard protection to the public*

lil bitchiness
OMG thas so funny!!!!!!!!! laughing out loud

Barf Heaven
laughing out loud laughing out loud laughing out loud

leatherface12
Can I be part of b!tchland?

Baylin
Well this is thread really is a breath of fresh lils. A political thread that isnt really political now thats SMART! yes thumb up

I volunteer to keep the zoo's and animals in order. That way your your public will adore you for giving them somewhere to go on the holidays.
Also I'll train the tigers and wolves to eat leftotans... cool

Storm
ermm Um... I don' t really like/enjoy the life in B!tchland. Where's the most neighbouring airport?

BackFire
*assasinates ugly people*

yerssot
*sees first post*
oh, but Storm, you have no idea how great life is here! See, recent comments made it seem she was a dictator, but that's not true! a dictatorship is when people get oppressed, but in this wonderful country things are so well and people so happy! it's the best that could have happen to us!

Baylin
Thats why there's no airport Storm. Just keep drining the water you'll soon be as happy as everyone else... geek

yerssot
see! yet another good thing about lil bit, she provides a lot of good quality water for us!

shaber
A dictatorship is established for no other reason than to make the rest SUFFER. A repressive government has really caused all the problems in this country.

Storm
I will not be indoctrinated.

yerssot
*signals to BF to take shaber down*
Really? Care to talk about this in my office?

Storm
ermm no

yerssot
*and storm too*

Baylin
I'll just nip out and get the tigers ready they probalby will want feeding about now....

silver_tears
Only the important people may be happy, the others must grovel cool

praywhip

Baylin
Yes Mistress *grovels...*

silver_tears
*pets baylin* very good cool
*sits behind desk pretending to be busy* happy

Ushgarak
Leftotan subversion is reaching unacceptable levels. I recommend invasion.

silver_tears
I support unless I have to do anything diva

Baylin
I'll get the tigers ready they like Leftotans!

Storm
When are you considered to be a "Leftotan"? http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/ups/sicdeth/headscratch.gif

Ushgarak
Gee, these people of yours need education courses, Lil!

Leftotans are people FROM neighbouring socialist country Leftoto, Storm.

Baylin
I think Sils is in charge of education Ush

Storm
Phew, I' m safe.
But still *sneaks to the airport*.

Baylin
There is no airport! Here have a glass of water... shifty

Ushgarak
No, though we should probably buy Lil an escape helicopter.

Baylin
Cant she just have a hole in the ground stocked up with lots of chocolate...

Storm
What??? No airport? eek
Fine, I' ll leave by car then.

Ushgarak
Why do you want to leave our beautiful banana-producing paradise?

Storm
I question the policies of this government.

Baylin
Oh Storm dont go around questioning things. Questions lead to answers and most people dont like the answers they get so become unhappy. If you just accept what is you can live in blissful ignorance! messed

Ushgarak
Storm, do we have to call Backfire in on you?

What policies do you have trouble with?

Storm
no

Ushgarak
Ok, you can have freedom of speech and expression and the right to liberty...

...or you can have what is inside the mystery box!

Storm
The right to liberty http://messenger.msn.be/Resource/emoticons/72_72.gif
Good, then I have the right to leave.
bye guys
scooter

Ushgarak
Wait wait wait. Have you considered the attractions of the mystery box? It could be ANYTHING! It could even be the right to liberty, you know how much you want that!

Storm
Somehow, I connect "disappear mysteriously" with "mystery" box.
So bye

Ushgarak
Ok. Ummm... it was possible I was bluffing with the whole 'liberty' thing...

Banana?

Storm
No thanks stick out tongue

Ushgarak
That's a shame. We don't really have much else; they account for 90% of our exports...

Now, if we could get a slice (no pun intended) of that Leftotan pineapple trade...

Storm
lmao laughing

Ushgarak
See? Life is funny here!

Banana?

Storm
I' ll take a banana if you use a smiley stick out tongue

Ushgarak
Now now, don't be getting silly!

Storm
I' m sorry but you can keep your bananas for yourself stick out tongue

Ushgarak
Even if I mention how cute that cow is?

Storm
*remains unyielding*

Ushgarak
Awww...

(orders in the troops)

Storm
war

Ushgarak
Speaking as head of the armed forces, it sure as heck is for me!

yerssot
yes, it's a good idea, it shows how proper trained are troops are

you see, our country isn't only about education, or bananas. We want to nurture the entire body and mind and we do this by giving them a physical training, now, the armed forces may give it a bad ring. It's just that with training these men and women in becoming fine people who unlike most people in other countries DO have a condition, we can give them also a NEW function in the army, where they can in example help with the banana-export or when there are natural disasters, help out

see, our country has thought of everything to make live as pleasant as possible happy

Storm
*decapitates Ush* giljotiini
"Head" of the armed forces, you were saying ...?

yerssot
*points to his previous comment*

Ushgarak
Nice fantasy life there, Storm, but you are nothing in this country...

(has Storm arrested and sent to the Secret Police for subversion)

Barf Heaven
*walks around in white chef's jacket with a long knife looking insane*

Fire
(I wonder why I got recruted for the army)

Ush can I lead our black ops department?

yerssot
yet again I have to point something out here

we, as much as every other country these days, do our utmost best to battle the horrible terrorism.
Therefor, the most fitted people can get selected to participate in the black ops, a group that deals with these sort treats; a group that gives us the ability to make us feel safe

Fire
(who says we battle terrorism????: we keep it away from our country, but terrorism is one of the most effective ways of waging modern day war. Ush I say we start a terrorist campaign against Leftoto. When they are in civil war we will send in our troops-to protect the peace there- and we'll never leave. Heck we prolly will get UN aproval for this)

Ushgarak
Certainly can, Fire. Your first job is to assess the feasibility of surgical strikes on Guerilla bases in Leftoto.

Fire
can't we just supply those Guerilla bases with banana's and let them work for us?

but if they disagree I'll have my black ops ppl eliminate them

Ushgarak
No, the Guerillas hate us with a passion and can never be persuaded... the Leftotans tolerate their presence. If it were up to me I would takr the whole country...

Baylin
do gorillas eat bananananas? confused

yerssot
(dude, I do propaganda, I'm supposed to good-mouth what you say stick out tongue)

yes, as our beloved Ushgarak pointed out, the pure FACT is that there are guerrilas in Leftoto posing an EMINANT treat to us and our bananas.
It is only LOGICAL we use a pre-emptive strike to stop them once and for all with their plans to attack us

Fire
*Takes mic*
"Central Xanadu Command, this is Fire.
Commence operation Gorilla, I repeat commence operation Gorilla.
Weapons free, leave non alive"

yerssot
We are just in the progress of convincing them to stop being nasty to us big grin

Fire
Nice sharad, maybe we should give them friendship bands like the japs gave the americans.

Btw don't we need a reason to justify this war to our ppl, maybe we could I dunno blow up one of our own mental hospitals or something like that and frame Leftoto?

yerssot
as said:

they pose a treat to us! they should have been stopped long ago already big grin

and no, we are not in the progress of having a war. We are having a dispute wink

Fire
well we are working on the right strategy

Baylin
Nuke 'em!

Barf Heaven
*gasp* NOT THE BANANAS! WE MUST SAVE THE BANANAS! *horrified look on face*

Fire
"Too obvious"

Baylin
How about poluting their drinking water with psychotropic drugs and then just 'persuade' them to think like us...

yerssot
yes, as barfy here says, it's of the utmost importance they will be stopped. Terrorising us with there blant attacks on our bananas will cause instable economic effects on us, Leftoto is still harvestering AND donating vast amounts of money to them! It is an OUTRAGE the international community still hasn't acted, so we must act for them

Fire
nah they need to Die all of them bloody fundamentalist bastards (no pun against muslims)

Ushgarak
I don't think we actually have a nuclear capacity... beisdes, we need those pineapples!

Fire
very true

yerssot
yes, of course, if they don't want to cease their actions against us and use force against our black ops, they have to defend themselves and casualties may fall ... ... on their side

Baylin
Well pineapples can grow in our climate so wht dont we steal a few and grow pineapples for our selves. In fact we could go as far as to undercut their pinapple industry and cause their economic collapse! big grin

yerssot
that of course because with leftoto harvesting terrorists who undermine our economy, they should feel our wraith when we do the same to them

lil bitchiness
Wow....everyone is certanly doing their job, well!

Ok, so since Raz is not here, (hes doing an important International conference on technology and education...we have to improva both...i saw someone rebelling nono)
And since Ush is second one down in rank after Raz, i propose we go with the Ushes idea and invade Leftoto. We will need a war plan and major propaganda work.
People of B!tchland MUST believe Leftoto is a major threat and must be invaded/stopped, as the rest of the world.

The obvious reasons that we want pineapples is of course undercover...but im sure yerss will take care of that!

Ushgarak
Ok.

First of all, though, the army will need a budget increase of 200% to finance the invasion.

The Omega
Huuuuuh big grin
In charge of education, am I? Do I get to burn books?

Fire
I still say we blow up a bus of schoolgirls or something and blame it on leftoto

lil bitchiness
Hmm..this will certanly have huge impact on the economy, but strong army is crutial, so yes, army gets 200% budget increase.

lil bitchiness
Yes...the books that promote aything other than what everyone should know...
We are getting ready for inasion, so therefore, books on how we are great, im hoping you will issue to the schools and general public big grin

shaber
Are you going to be less repressive about infanticide? I see a double standard! A gardener gets away with killing the result of unwanted seed, why the double standard between plants and animals? wacko

Ushgarak
WOO-HOO! WE GOT THE CASH!

(buys heavy artillery)

lil bitchiness
We need something bigger to blow up though ermm

burlyman
Leftoto sucks blink

Baylin
What about a big bus of school kids, a double decker or something or failing that just blow up a school!

lil bitchiness
Yeah...but can we use that as an excuse for an invesion? ermm

shaber
I think that toddlers should be monitored for subversive sentiments and you should also take a firmer view with "thoughtcrimes" (subversive thoughts and "hatespeech" (subversive speech). It is of paramount importance to realise that even an inimical thought can lead to trouble. wacko

Ushgarak
Just do what the Japanese did. I'll dress a load of guys up in Leftotan uniform and have them torch a village or two of ours. Before long the people will be screaming out for vengeance!

Linkalicious
B!tchland What the f**k? Riiiiigghhtt....And I'm the one that does drugs...pfft

burlyman
drugs are good, and drugs are bad smart

shaber
Does that suggest discontent???

lil bitchiness
Awesome idea Ush!

And with yerss's talent, we can make it out to be more of a tragedy than it really is.

We could use BackFire's(equivalant to) SS men for this job!

Fire
yea sounds great

Ushgarak
Just tell me when to go- you had best speak to BF.

Storm
http://www.fiddlestix.biz/images/protest.jpg

Ushgarak
Looking more and more clear that Storm is a Leftotan agent...

Storm
You' re getting paranoid Ush. disguise2

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