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dump your jokes here or any of these threads...

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=308919&highlight=jokes

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=307978&highlight=jokes

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=296229&highlight=jokes

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13476&highlight=blonde+jokes

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13476&highlight=blonde+jokes

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13399&highlight=blonde+jokes

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=32496&highlight=great+joke

i need to pee

in your pants? 'cause i advocate that...

do you get drunk first or do you pee in them all day, every day regardless of how intoxicated you are?

it's more of a random thing. i gave up on bladder control around 1987...

right on...

when no one wants to play with you, play with yourself...

illness

hysterical

*pinches baby picture's cheeks*

whoa.

oooookkkkkk

Note: This was not done intentionally (by the pet owner), and the cat is back to normal. Let us take you, now, through a true story submitted to Aha! Jokes about a haircut, a groomer, a Southern accent, and one very angry cat!

My sister-in-law is from Oklahoma and has a slight Southern accent. She has cats, and when she lived in the south, she would take them to the groomer's and have what is called a Line Cut. To her, a line cut is when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled).

When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move, so she took it in for a line cut.

She was quite surprised when she heard the price, as it was twice as much as it was down south.

She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her! She cried for a week -- but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago, and the cat needed all the fur it had.

Gas in car to go to groomer's $3.25

Cat car carrier $27.99

Grooming fee $80.00

Getting angry looks from one seriously upset cat -- priceless!

http://img3.exs.cx/img3/1736/ShowLetter16.jpg
http://img11.exs.cx/img11/1861/ShowLetter24.jpg

that is scary

gives a new meaning to shaven pu...erm...wait ... PG13

four nuns died in an accident and found themselves in front of heavens gate where saint peter was waiting. the sisters promptly notice a beuatiful fountain and asked saint peter what it was for. saint peter said, "you have sinned and have to cleanse yourself in the fountain of purity." the first nun in line was asked what her sin was, she replied "well, everytime our handsome priest would take a shower, i take a peek." saint peter then told her to proceed and wash her eyes in the fountain.

saint peter asked the second nun in line, she then replied "well, everytime our handsome priest took a shower, i held his penis in my hand." saint peter then told her to wash her hand in the fountain.

the third nun was next but was pushed rather rudely by the fourth nun. saint peter was enraged and asked the nun what was the reason behind this behavior. she replied "i just wanted to gargle before sister washes her @ss in the fountain!"

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in
their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She
finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches
as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room."Why
are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago
when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes, I do," she replies. .

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the back seat of my car

"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside
him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail
for twenty years?"

"I remember that, too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said . . "i would've been free by now..."
jailmad

Two male buddies were walking through the woods when out of no where, a poisons snake came and bit one of the men in the penis! The man collapsed to the ground while his friend ran to town to get help.

The man arrived at a doctor's office and said help, help, my friend was bit by a snake in the penis. The doctor remarked that he couldn't get all his tools to the woods in time to save the friend, so he told him that he would have to suck the venom out of his friend! There has got to be another way said the man and the doctor sighed no I am sorry!

The man ran back to the woods and found his poor friends lying on the floor in allot of pain! The man on the floor cried, what did the doctor say? The friend said, he said you're going to die.

Lol! That's a good one.

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.

He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who watched the whole incident walked up and asked,"What the f*ck is going on?"

The drunk, still staring down, replied:

"I think I just beat the sh!t out of a ghost."