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Basically all you do is write your own obituary. It doesn't have to be as lengthy as mine.

The KMC Times.
November 28th, 2068:

Sonofasaiyan was found dead in his home today, the ripe old age of 84. A pioneer in the realm of education, sonofasaiyan helped many who were stuck in the shadows of ignorance and poverty and was a renowned author political activist, and artist. He has died of natural causes although there is a strange text 'RAZ' written in blood on the kitchen and den walls. It was not his blood, however. He is survived by his wife Natalie and mistress A.K, 6 sons Roland, Axel, Dave.C, Akira, Bailey, Bobwehadababyitsaboy and one daughter Carmen. Funeral Services will be held at the 100,000th church of Christ on the light side of the moon. All assholes trying to gain entrance to the private ceremony will be lasered on sight. Illegetimate children need not attend nor hope for financial compensation of any kind. He was sonofasaiyan *****!!!SLAP!!!! Worship my corpse please.

That's morbid...

KMC Times:
5004

Wow! Rex is old! Still going...wait...no...dead! No! They brought him back again!

I can't help it... I've just got to do this one:

Jean Grey

She's dead, no wait! She's not dead! She's back and fully function- er, wait a minute. Scratch that; she's dead again. No? She's alive again?! She is! She isn't! She is, she isn't!
Uh-huh,
nuh-uh,
uh-huh,
nuh-uh,
uh-huh... *continues*

30 sept. 2004 -> DEAD.


ghost1

huh?

Why is your name Hilary Duff? just a thought, it could be copy righted or something.

Sorry if my name bother you

No, it doesn't. I was just wondering why, are you a fan of hers or something?

23rd March 2003:
Died of unknown causes. The body, which has 2 starnge puncture marks in the neck, mysteriously disappeared from the mortuary and has never been found since. A loving Father, Husband, Son, brother and Niece (On the 2nd friday of each month only). He will NOT be missed.

crying1

Dec. 25th 2077:

After winning the World Series of baseball for 18th consecutive time and being crown by The Governor of California for his courage in the war again'st the evil Robots from outer space. WD was assasinated in his attempt to rescue the beautiful and gorgeous Miss Universe 2077. He leaves behind no regret or loves ones. His memory will forever be cherish in the pages of the internet by Raz the VI owner and admistrator of KMC. We will missed him dearly......now grab some pretzels and beer and stay tuned for the party after the funeral.

No fair!!! You get to be 101.

Mrs. Phoenix
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
Died of shock after meeting Joaquin Phoenix. 2004 RIP

Tired Hiker (a.k.a. Man of bad Taste) Dies suddenly while heading to work on his day off, who knew. Cause of death was a giant gold goose egg crashing threw his windshield and smashing him to a pulp. Witnesses say Tired Hiker was naked at the time and probably deserved it. There were no survivors.

Additional important information , this just in: the body of Joaquin Phoenix was found dead near Mrs Phoenix's, it seems to show that she tried to eat him! wow, ive seen many things in my life but this is unearthly.

mwahahah. Ive always said that i was going to eat Joaquin Phoenix cause he's so scrummy

<- reurected from the dead after a lenghty absence

Darkcrown was found brutally murdered in her home today on the southside of Detroit. She was a good student and gave to her comunity. Funeral services will not be held because nobody ever loved her.

Thats so true.......

Isn't it?

you bet it is

god this is morbid lol

eggmayo was the quintessential sandwich filling, sometimes eaten on its own, sometimes with tuna. some people may put it with ham or other sandwich fillers, but i find this to be coarse and vulgar

I died peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

...... I'm sorry if that really happened but wow!

no no that didn't really happen..





...it was much worse

Died in a firery explotion deep behind enemy lines due to too much damnage taken to the fusion reactor on his armor .... the insuing crater would make him proud

...... wait, since when did i have kids?

this is FUTURE tense, im pretty sure you will

......................... OH KRISTEN! ..........

yea... slow tonite?

just a lil ... but then again i've not slept and was stuck in a car for 5 hours w/ folkles

good god, you got music there?

i have every last cd i own with me

good, aim access? yahoo?

nope, only contact i have w/ anyone is here on KMC .... which bites, cause you know me, i'm always talking to ppl on KMC, AIM, Yahoo, and MSN all at the same time

yea... and i cant send you files you might need
... like music, george carlin...

oh, beautiful, for smoggy skies,
insecticided grain,
for strim mined mountains' magesty,
above the asphalt plain,
america, america, man sheds his waste on thee,
and hides the pines, with billboard signs,
from sea to oily sea.

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!

ohya, you know she's gunna kill you for the comment bout us having kids right?

why?
you know it'll happen.
hell, one'll break eventually



ok, that was a bad joke, but eventually, she'll want kids, even if you dont... and you'll want her happy... ...

damn you and your logic!!!

make that joke again and you will never have to worry about one breaking on you ever again

"Died saving his family from a sinking battleship".

hahaha!
you know me, anything for a reaction... and you did exactly what i thought.

yaknow ... i could actually see that tho .... well marrage obviously, but the kids too

welcome to my strange world

good god! more of me! fear

*shudders* that is a scary thought ... little versions of us

"daddy, took my extra USP mag, and he wont give it back"

fear

ok, maybe that's not so bad

yea, our little monsters could become as good as us, better even, if we train them well, and raise them better

definately ... besides, we need to "borrow" ammo mags from somewhere

"daddy, did you take my L-85 ammo?"
"of course not son ... fairies came and took it in the night."

"but aunt megan said faries use knives and daggers... why would they take my ammo?"

lol, ok enough, i need sleep cause the freebirth ... er ... siblings ... will be awake in 7 hours ... need to prepare for them

ok, rest well, for tomorrow begins the hardest training you hav had since the beginning

yea, thanks


and who are you kidding, the academy was a hell of a lot easier then dealing w/ these things

the academy was never the beginning, it was only the start of this life's training

point, anyway, peace

peace

on tombstone:

I drank what?

lmfao!! laugh1

im with you M.Y

thanks B X

Can it be now? I just require a can of spray paint.

BUMP.



I was gonna make a thread like this, but I searched first and then this came up.


Obituary:

Matthew G. Oliver

January 13, 1980-August 20, 2008

Tombstone epitaph: He was okay.

Matthew died of natural causes on 8-20-08. He was 28. He is survived by his wife, Raeann, and daughter, Madison. Matthew was raised in East Texas, in the little prison town of Huntsville. When he graduated school (miraculously) in 1998, he enlisted in the Unites States Army Infantry. From there, he went to Parachutist (Airborne) school and was stationed in Schweinfurt, Germany. From what we have been told, aside from his military duties, his whole time over there was an alcohol induced daze. After leaving Germany, Matt was stationed at Ft. Hood, Texas where he spent two years before going to Iraq shortly after the 9/11 attacks happened. He was injured in combat, and thus, developed a speech impediment. After being honorably medicaled out of the Army, he movied back home to Huntsville where he fell into a depression and regularly abused drugs and alcohol. His saving grace was when he met his beautiful, future wife, Raeann, and he knocked her up, thus forcing him to grow up and begin life anew as a responsible parent. After becoming a dad, Matt settled into a comfortable life as the bread-winner of a loving family. His hobbies included video gaming, movie watching, dvd collecting, comic books, and a forum called KMC (whatever that is). Matt was truly a bizarre individual, as we have been informed that he once went to a "donkey show" and witnessed inter-species erotica. His wackiness will be missed, and we will always remember how it took him 5 minutes to say one damn sentence. R.I.P. Matt

Originally posted by Impediment
BUMP.



I was gonna make a thread like this, but I searched first and then this came up.


Obituary:

Matthew G. Oliver

January 13, 1980-August 20, 2008

Tombstone epitaph: He was okay.

Matthew died of natural causes on 8-20-08. He was 28. He is survived by his wife, Raeann, and daughter, Madison. Matthew was raised in East Texas, in the little prison town of Huntsville. When he graduated school (miraculously) in 1998, he enlisted in the Unites States Army Infantry. From there, he went to Parachutist (Airborne) school and was stationed in Schweinfurt, Germany. From what we have been told, aside from his military duties, his whole time over there was an alcohol induced daze. After leaving Germany, Matt was stationed at Ft. Hood, Texas where he spent two years before going to Iraq shortly after the 9/11 attacks happened. He was injured in combat, and thus, developed a speech impediment. After being honorably medicaled out of the Army, he movied back home to Huntsville where he fell into a depression and regularly abused drugs and alcohol. His saving grace was when he met his beautiful, future wife, Raeann, and he knocked her up, thus forcing him to grow up and begin life anew as a responsible parent. After becoming a dad, Matt settled into a comfortable life as the bread-winner of a loving family. His hobbies included video gaming, movie watching, dvd collecting, comic books, and a forum called KMC (whatever that is). Matt was truly a bizarre individual, as we have been informed that he once went to a "donkey show" and witnessed inter-species erotica. His wackiness will be missed, and we will always remember how it took him 5 minutes to say one damn sentence. R.I.P. Matt

He will be missed..........i think

July 10th, 1991 - December 10th, 2555

Tombstone Epitaph: Yeah, baby, yeah!

Toku King was blown to smithereens with an army of super zombie ninjas while fighting them to the death protecting his and Jennifer Garner's love child. Battling the hordes for over a decade, King became the leader of the NBG(Ninja Be Gone) unit of the United States Government, now led by the current president of the United States Chuck Norris.
Zombie Ninja King Tom Cruise died at Toku's hand 5 back in 2552, which created an uproar in the Zombie Ninja community.

Bastard died owing me 20 bucks.

Can't die

Thats whachoo stink.

ragesRemorse died on tuesday morning at 8:38 am of, August 1st, 2008

The cause of death is unkown at this point, but considering the state of which his remains were found officials are almost convinced that he was killed after pissing off a wizard , no other details can be divulged at this point because the case is still open and being investigated.

ragesRemorse was survived by a half eaten jar of mustard of three Ritz crackers

Originally posted by Toku King
July 10th, 1991 - December 10th, 2555

Tombstone Epitaph: Yeah, baby, yeah!

Toku King was blown to smithereens with an army of super zombie ninjas while fighting them to the death protecting his and Jennifer Garner's love child. Battling the hordes for over a decade, King became the leader of the NBG(Ninja Be Gone) unit of the United States Government, now led by the current president of the United States Chuck Norris.
Zombie Ninja King Tom Cruise died at Toku's hand 5 back in 2552, which created an uproar in the Zombie Ninja community.

Died from reading that.

Strangelove died today. He kinda blew.

Originally posted by Strangelove
Strangelove died today. He kinda blew. lol@kinda

Are you saying I totally blew?

You know what you meant.

As a matter of fact, I do not.

k

awehuh

Originally posted by dadudemon
Died from reading that.

Ha.

Somewhat unrelated, but I've always liked Spike Milligan's Tombstone message - " I told you I was ill".

Originally posted by Toku King
Ha.

"dadudemon died of internet bates, wiping his butt too much, and tall dudes with hot sisters"

Originally posted by dadudemon
"dadudemon died of internet bates, wiping his butt too much, and tall dudes with hot sisters"

What are you talking about?

Stupid Town is somewhere else.

Originally posted by Toku King
What are you talking about?

Stupid Town is somewhere else.

Don't u remember me telling you that you had a hot sister and that you look tall?


OOOOOOOOO!

Who's the one buying real estate in stupid town now?


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Originally posted by dadudemon
Don't u remember me telling you that you had a hot sister and that you look tall?


OOOOOOOOO!

Who's the one buying real estate in stupid town now?


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Nope, don't remember that.
And don't talk about my sister.

KMC Times.
June 16th, 2009
Da Joker was found dead in his home today at the age of 15. He had a promising future as a comic book writer and actor. He was found apparently hung in his basement by himself, and leaves behind nothing of importance. No legacy, no money, nothing.

Originally posted by Da Joker
KMC Times.
June 16th, 2009
Da Joker was found dead in his home today at the age of 15. He had a promising future as a comic book writer and actor. He was found apparently hung in his basement by himself, and leaves behind nothing of importance. No legacy, no money, nothing. Feel-good story of the year



haermm2 Couldn't help myself

Can't help but feel that's what'd happen if I died, no matter how it happened.

Well if you're 15, then no shit. How many 15 year olds have a legacy or huge riches?

I wasn't talking about the riches, I was talking about the people laughing and not caring.

Dead since March 2006 and now come back as a ghost ghost1

Originally posted by Da Joker
I wasn't talking about the riches, I was talking about the people laughing and not caring. Oh, in that case, fair enough. You're probably right.

Probably so, I guess it'd be doing the world a favor if it happened, eh?

Nah, I'm just kidding with you. No point killing yourself at an early age to please members on an internet forum, really.

I don't care about internet forum members, I can actually say I have a lot of enemies, and truly for no reason.

I can say myself I know what that's like. But it's not like it'll be like that or the rest of your life or anything. Also, if it's for no reason, then why give in to them? They'll go away eventually.

Plus all of the other bad shit that's happened in my life.

Everyone's had bad stuff happen to them. My father almost died of liver failure twice, once when I was 7, and once when I was 11, and I have a leg ailment currently from a nasty accident involving a slide. It happens to most of us, we just have to try and get through it.

Apoc001 had a hard life, growing up in rough and tough northern Alberta. Life was always difficult for him, because his parents would only buy toys and candy for him on the weekends. Apoc001 grew up wanting to be a famous guitarist, but because his parents gave him such strict rules for achieving this goal, such as practicing more than ten minutes per month, he was forced to abandon this dream. In high school, he was always picked on by others, and sometimes they even said bad words to him. Even graduation was difficult for him; he tried his hardest on the exams (and only on the exams) and tried to bribe the teachers, but he was still not permitted to graduate. Yes, life was hard for Apoc001. He even had to ride a bus! And one time somebody hit him (by accident)! And now we say goodbye to this poor, poor man who was so tragically deprived of luxury that he was never able to accomplish any of his goals. Rest in peace, Apoc001.

Originally posted by Da Joker
KMC Times.
June 16th, 2009
Da Joker was found dead in his home today at the age of 15. He had a promising future as a comic book writer and actor. He was found apparently hung in his basement by himself, and leaves behind nothing of importance. No legacy, no money, nothing.

Make it so.

"Harassment refers to a wide spectrum of offensive behaviour. The term commonly refers to behaviour intended to be disturbing, and, when the term is used in a legal sense, it refers to behaviours which are found threatening or disturbing."

It's also apparent to me your own self esteem/confidence is very low, hence the need for you to follow me around the forums and pathetically attempt to insult me. Too bad.

Follow you around? No, no, no dear child, you have the wrong end of the stick - I merely think that you're a complete idiot, each of your posts reminds me of this fact and results in me "pathetically attempting to insult you".

RIP

Scythe

Here lies Scythe, he never scored....

Originally posted by chillmeistergen
Follow you around? No, no, no dear child, you have the wrong end of the stick - I merely think that you're a complete idiot, each of your posts reminds me of this fact and results in me "pathetically attempting to insult you".

Dude, you hadn't even posted in this thread until I came in, or in many threads until I came. It's nice that you have some kind of homosexual crush on me, but I gladly refuse and would like if you'd stop with the harassment.

jeez what'd I miss?

Peanutbutter and harassment. 131

I love harassment haermm

I'm so glad Da Joker is banned. Whatever mod did that is my new favorite KMC member. Just tell me it was permanent.

Originally posted by SnakeEyes
I'm so glad Da Joker is banned. Whatever mod did that is my new favorite KMC member. Just tell me it was permanent.

Second

Oh Mirhi Gohan's gone again.

Auto-Note (Yesterday 09:05 PM) Da Joker banned by Storm, permanently
Reason: Sock.

i know.

Originally posted by Neo Darkhalen
i know.
Who said i was talking to you, you self centered whore man

and you love it awehuhs

Originally posted by Neo Darkhalen
and you love it awehuhs
awehuh

Originally posted by FoxMeister
Who said i was talking to you, you self centered whore man

haermm profiled

Originally posted by Da Joker
Dude, you hadn't even posted in this thread until I came in, or in many threads until I came. It's nice that you have some kind of homosexual crush on me, but I gladly refuse and would like if you'd stop with the harassment.

Shame, I would have quite enjoyed replying to this one.

Why, oh why was my true love banned?

Also, as this seems to be turning into a discussion place about banned members: anyone see that DK got banned again?