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ok...so maybe not really...but again...a friend sent it to me and i found them funny , afterall.....laughter is the best medicine


Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Those are hilarious! I've heard a few of those before. I like the "Man who run in front of car get tired" and "Crowded elevator smell different to midgets." Got any more?

those are good tho i didnt get some of them

Which ones did you not get, Naz?

i enjoyed them too...i dont have anymore cuz those were sent to me....


anyone who has any please add on...

There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philippines. As he stepped out of the airport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard. Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. verri faast!!" Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good!, very faast" The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap's proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it. "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, also verri good, very fast. Mmmm!"

It was not long after reaching the designated hotel, the cab halted in front of the lobby door, the cab-driver stared at the meter and proclaimed. "That will be US$239.40, sir!"

"Nan desu-ka! What?", the Jap was astonished. "The airport verrinear to hotel.

"Er, sir, this meter is NEC, made in Japan, very good and 'very faast'.

Those are funny.

Wise man say that forgiveness is devine, but never pay full price for late pizza! - Michelagelo

Shout out to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie . . .teh best

a few more...


*Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!

*The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

*A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

*The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.

*If it's free, it's advice; If you pay for it, it's counselling.

*The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

*If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

*My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses...He drinks straight out of the bottle.

*Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

*Getting caught is the mother of invention.

*Advertisement: Guitar, for sale, cheap, no strings attached

*"Buffet". A French word that means "Get up & get it yourself !"

*My wife is so ugly... A cannibal took one look at her and ordered salad.

*Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."

*Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."

*The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Thats all i have for now.

lol veeerrry funny...

very good, me likes