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Hey this is the late late show and I'm your host the fabulous David Duchovony. Who will our first guest be? Hey, how bout the next person that posts. We can discuss the weather, their last enema, heart attack, whatever floats their boat or finds their lost remote. Our first guest is...

late late? where d'you live?

So spearhead hows it going, what projects are you currently working on?
DD

um my mass-brainwashing project, of course

Mmmm...great hows it going now great I know. So hows your wife doing last time i saw her was when we went for drinks at Spaggo's.

...get help

what in the world is this?

Whats wrong spear dont leave me all high and dry like a pecan pie. I gotta keep the ratings up so I'll show the audience your sex tape.

um...go ahead?

This is the Late Late show daddio get with it.

Issues, DD?

Nah Pippin baby, dont you remember when you and I went Skydiving over Russian airspace those commies thought we were a pair of sexy F14's

I admire you and all Mr. D,
but I would rather watch Conan.

Conan that Red haired giant freak c'mon im the sexy sensation that brews the nation like a cup of Folgers on a Sunday morning.

Coffee stunts your growth.
Is watching you going to stunt my growth too?

Oooh, yeah! I remember that! The best day of my life, that was. What say you and I try parasailing next week?

You know im down like George brown. Say I'll bring that white wine you adore so much too Pip.

But Mr. D, she's 14. Your not a pedophile now are you?

No No man. I love everyone in my own special way. Pip is a barrel of fun and she is the only gal i know that can mix a decent Martini.

Damn straight.

Well babies and buttercups im outta time but ill be back on 2morrow so dont feel too much sorrow. Same time same place, and pip sleep good doll

Conan kicks the shit out of every late night talk show host to ever live.

Sweet dreams, DD.




....Now I'm bored again. Dammit.




P.S. Conan rocks. You gotta love him.

I'll hurt you. I know ppl.

Really? I know lots of people. Does that mean I'll be able to hurt you, too? Not that I would want to or anything.

Jeremy has a sex tape can i get ----




.




errrrrr so hows the weather where you live

i have sex tape! oh what? oh you meant a sex video tape? i thought you ment duct tape to tie your hands during sex...

Can I have your autograph Mr. D?

duck tape and sex huh???

sounds kinda kinky

Hey guys and gals the one and only DD is back on track and ready to keep the show live and in livin color OHHHHHHH!!!!

C'mon ppl NBC is gonna fire me if i cant get some primo guests. I DONT WANNA GET CANCELLED!!!!!!WAAAAAAHH!!!!!!! Please someone anyone OH GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Ahem lost the cool anyway hipsters ill be patiently waiting on my next guest we'll go to commercial in a 5 4 3 2 -

That's a long ass commercial.

Well Im back ppls How ya bin folks. Stick around our next guest is the best and isnt a pest WAAAAHOOOOO!!!

Am I the next guest then? You said whoever posted next....










.....You really like to rhyme, don't ya, DD?




















....Sex? And duct tape? I'm in.

Hey Pip sup mama? When is your next album coming out?

Uhmmm....My only album came out 2,587 years ago. It's called My Sheep Named Shoop. It's death metal. Yeah....I'm not planning on another one any time soon.







































And I'm still confued about the sex/duct tape thing!!! I wanna have sex with duct tape!!! ....Wait.... Or am I supposed to have sex while covered in duct tape? Now I'm confussled...

AWWWW NOOOOOO!!!! C'mon Pip. We need more the public needs to be graced by your beautiful voice and music skills. We love ya doll

Oh and you dont need no stinking duct tape

Well...You can look forward to another one within the next 5 trillion years....if you guys live that long...I'm not sure.... I'm immortal, so I'll probably just wait til you all die to make another one....Yeah, that sounds good. God, I'm thirsty....*goes off to the freezer to get a couple more pints of fresh blood* droolio Damn, that's good.











But....What if I want to have duct tape sex?? Shit, now I'm all horny.