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Hey Everybody,
I know people have been waiting and waiting for Solo and I to finally post this so they could see what we are like as reviewers. I hope this will at least be entertaining for others to read. I don't know about Solo, but I have seen many movies and am very much a film buff. Our idea in creating this thread is to show you our movie ratings, opinions, and then kind of debate them like Ebert and Roeper. Sometimes I'm sure we will agree, while other times we will not. I hope all enjoy and I hope that Solo and I will have some reviews up here very soon. Some of my reviews personally, the star ratings that is, may be subject to change based on rewatching a movie, or a change of opinion. Most of the time they should be the same though. We will also either delete our older, seperate threads or let them just die out. Thanks.

Hunchy

Our first movie review is going to be:

Kevin's Smith's cult classic...


Clerks. ***1/2.

Clerks in my opinion, for starters, is Kevin Smith's best movie. I think this was one of the first low budget indie movies that really took a simple idea and made it really funny...oh and created such colorful characters such as Jay and Silent Bob. This movie spawned a whole universe for them, but in Clerks they were more side characters than the main focus (such as "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" and "Dogma". Clerks is about a day in the life of two convenience store clerks in New Jersey and the various characters and discussions that take place there. Again, you either like Kevin Smith movies and know all about them, or you just hate his movies altogether. This is mostly due to his style of writing and dialouge. The movie is all about their conversations (one always involving the topic of Star Wars) kind of like what Coffee and Cigarettes did, only better. As a side note, this movie was filmed in black and white, which was a turn off to the average movie goer in the 90's, who just didn't appreciate movies that weren't in color. Because of course, nobody did that anymore. To me, being filmed in black and white added a certain feel to it. It was grainy and not perfect looking-exactly what this movie is meant to be. I think it would have lost something had it been filmed in color. For you that have seen this, and haven't seen Kevin Smith's other movies-I highly recommend that you see them. And as for those who have never seen Clerks-at least give it a try. It was just re-released on DVD in a new 10th Anniversary Edition. Clerks is a cult classic indie film that needs to be seen.

Couldn't ****ing agree with you more. 4/4. Those who like Clerks, I recomend Mallrats. I'll post a longer review later.

Clerks

Okay, you didn't mention who starred, how well acted it was, the run time, pacing, nothing.

If the purpose of this thread were to simply air out your feelings on movies, fantastic. If you're trying to stimulate people, and possibly persuade them to renting it, you failed.

I wouldn't rent anything by Kevin Smith anyway, because he's a obese, balding fanboy with a video camera, a fledgling distributors budget, and enough potty humor to put George Carlin to shame.

That's just me, though.

"Clerks" (1994)
"Clerks", the cult-classic comedy starring Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson (Run Time:1 hr.32 min.)
This movie was what started it all for writer/director Kevin Smith, and his two hilarious characters, Jay and Silent Bob. About a day in the life of two convenience and video store clerks (Dante and Randal). And two drug dealers that always hang around outside ( Jay and Silent Bob).


The Acting was decent not oscar worthy, but decent while the jokes and plot made up for everything.
Character development was awesome, made stars out of Jay and Silent Bob when they were only in 15 min. tops. Great reccomendation to anyone that's looking for an easy-to-follow hilarious comedy, that everyone and their mom will love. Wouldn't reccomend going and buying the Clerks X version when the Collections version and X don't differ by much.

I don't believe it's possible to put George Carlin, one of the greatest comedians ever, to shame with potty humor.

I meant that Kevin Smith used so much of it, to carry his movie, He'd put him to shame.

I don't see that much in Smiths movies. The only movie where it's really abundant is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. The other flicks have it, but it's not the driving force.

Dude, you come into my forums and constantly say how bad they are and how bad my reviews are...Don't come here to pick them apart...Secondly, it doesn't need the running time told to people...unless its really short or extremly long or some significance...I didn't mention the small actors no because its an indie film...a movie that if people haven't seen or no nothing about, are not gonna care about the actors...they are hardly well known except in Kevin Smith movies. Your mister know it all...I never compared Kevin Smith to any great comedian. I simply rated it on its subject material...and if you wanna call it potty humor fine...but at least he does it well...You are obviously not a Kevin Smith fan and that's fine...so go argue with someone else about it...This is my first review on here for one thing...There will be things I will include next time, but take it easy...you don't have to freakin bash me for it...I'm done hearing from you.

"Okay, you didn't mention who starred, how well acted it was, the run time, pacing, nothing.

If the purpose of this thread were to simply air out your feelings on movies, fantastic. If you're trying to stimulate people, and possibly persuade them to renting it, you failed.

I wouldn't rent anything by Kevin Smith anyway, because he's a obese, balding fanboy with a video camera, a fledgling distributors budget, and enough potty humor to put George Carlin to shame.

That's just me, though."

What reviews?

"I don't see that much in Smiths movies. The only movie where it's really abundant is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. The other flicks have it, but it's not the driving force."

I agree...And while I still enjoyed Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, that was the most type of humor in that way. I think Kevin Smith also includes much intelligent humor as well-such as the dialouge about the Death Star and all the innocent construction workers that died. Clerks is a movie I go back and forth on from *** to ***1/2. But I went with my first reaction to it...which was ***1/2.

"What reviews?"

I love it...You think very highly of your reviews...and diss on others...Give me a break dude...First review....

Whatever the case, nothing is wrong with potty humor every now and then. It keeps the tone of the movie light and silly, which is what he wants to do. He doesn't want people to think he takes his stuff to seriously. Similar to South Park, which is the best and wittiest show on tv, but is not afraid to throw in some fart or dick jokes in the middle of their brilliant social commentary.

Well, to be frank, that's because I believe I actually know how to write a concise review. I've been on hiatus for about 2 months. Needless to say, I think you've awoken a sleeping giant.

I guess my method of "helping" comes across a little too harsh. Had you been here when the in flux of "Your Name Here's Review Thread" followed my initial "Cine-picks of the Week" thread, you'd understand how goddamn annoying it is to try and HELP people, when everyone and their sister wakes up and thinks they're Leonard ****ing Maltin all of a sudden.(Helping, although 50% of the users here saw it otherwise (i.e. me being a conceded bastard).

Good luck, honestly. Look forward to reading your reviews, and welcome to KMC.

Exactly...and Cinnemaddiction, there wasn't much plot to go into on Clerks...it was based around a concept of a day in the life of convience store employees and did it very well. Have you even seen it before? You seen Cinnemaddiction, I had, and have nothing against you...just that I was a little pissed you started bashing me right away...I have been writing down all the star ratings of movies I have seen for 6 years or so...Yet, I haven't actually written many reviews...give me time...I can tell you that I can show you my opinion and debate movies well...I wasn't trying to write a great review of Clerks, just wanted to show people what I thought of it.

Practice makes perfect, as the old saying goes. Even the mighty C-Dic didn't just start writing his comprehensive reviews out of the blue, I'm sure. Most likely took a lot of practice, time and effort.

Hatchet is buried, man. Like I said, it comes with time. I'm nobody special, just someone who is in love with movies, and likes to spread the word.

EDIT: BF is correct. I still usually sit here for 30 minutes typing, re-editing, proofreading, and thumbing through my mental rolodex of puns and cleverity.

Competition just makes me giddy.

EDIT:Be do.

I'd love to get Cinnemaddiction in on reviewing movies with us...if you want to read one of my more "quality" reviews...here's one I took time to write for school. It's a contriveral one...The Passion of the Christ...

Where?

Hunchy's Review of:
The Passion of the Christ (2004) ****
Directed by: Mel Gibson
Starring: James Caviezel. Maia Morgenstern. Hristo Jivkov. Francesco De Vito.
Running Time: (Just for Cinemaddiction) 127 m, color.
PLOT: (I'm sure you all know)

"The Passion of the Christ" is a story that many people are very familiar with. It is very well known within our society. Our timeline is based on the events of Jesus Christ's death and crucifixion (B.C: Before Christ, and AD: After Death). Some may question historical accuracy of the story, which Christians believe to be true. Some doubt that Jesus Christ really DID rise from the dead after his death, but history shows that Jesus Christ did in fact exist. This film is about what Christians, as well as Mel Gibson, believe: that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, he died and was born again for our sins. But the movie doesn't focus on Jesus' life story. It focuses on the last twelve hours of his life, including: his betrayal, his capture, his trial, and then his crucifixion and briefly his resurrection (The last shot shows him awakening in his tomb, and as he gets up and walks out of the shot, we see a glimpse of his hand, the nails that once pierced his hand completely gone). Overall, the movie is about the crucifixion and suffering that he went through. The story, since most of us are already very familiar with it, (Christian or not) is told effectively by having the characters speak Aramaic, the language spoken at the time. This is done very well, and the actors show their great strengths by speaking the language very naturally. There are also subtitles in English to help explain what they are saying. This was added partially; because many complained about the fact that Mel Gibson had originally planned on having no subtitles so that the visuals would tell the story. After all, most people know the story well enough to follow it. However, there is hardly any dialouge throughout the movie, only in key places where needed. It is mostly told byits visuals and can very much be viewed as an art film. Jim Caviezel, truly immerses himself in the role of Jesus and captures the classic image of which we are all very familiar with. The other supporting actors are all excellent in their roles as well; especially Jesus' mother, Mary. There are also constant visuals throughout the movie of demons, which add an even deeper depth to the supernatural side of the story. I thought "The Passion of the Christ" was a great movie and possibly one of the best of the year. "The Passion of the Christ" is also a ery contriversal movie. There are many that do not believe the movie to be factual and do not wish to even see it. I believe that anyone over the age of 13 should see this movie, before they pass judgment on it. Whether you believe the story of "The Passion of the Christ" or not, I believe that it should be seen. It's an important movie that shows a man's sufferings and in that element alone, it succeeds.

Not a bad review at all, although you may want to space it out a bit, it's tough to read when it's in one huge body like that.

Very nice review, nice formatting.

Thank you...yes, I tried to add spaces and different paragraphs like the real one I have...but couldn't. Can you help me out?

Yes!!!!!!

Hit the <Enter> key twice when you want to start new paragraphs.

See, I just hit the key twice. It's a great new concept!

No, I meant new paragraphs.

Sorry to say, but that doesn't work for me...I hit return twice (seeing as though I have a mac) and it just skips two lines...and tab doesn't work either.