Kidnapping Alert
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Canadian Moose
I hAve TaKEn sAmurai Guy anD RAz hOstAge. tHeY arE in A saFe PlAcE.
BrINg 1,0oo,O0o piNe cOneZ to 5tH & mAiN iN fOrUMville aNd noThIng HApPens 2 thEyrE prEtTy sCreEn NaMes.
CoME aLOnE - nO MoDz, oR thE girlY oNe geTs it
sIgNEd
tHe VEry bOreD aNonYmOose
Samurai Girl
Scott has been kidnapped............oh well....grabs 5 cones and shoves the in a bag..........sorry moose thats all he is worth
Canadian Moose
Don't use my name!!
And you LOVE this guy?
pinsleepe

KILL THEM KILL THEM
aLSo BoRed sUZ
Samurai Girl
hey i managed to get 50 for raz!!
pinsleepe
Is that really you?
Canadian Moose
So, let me get this straight, you have 55 total pine cones?
Samurai Girl
no i have 5 for scott and 50 for raz!
Is who me suzie?
pinsleepe
Nevermind.
I'll give another 8,5 for them both.
eggmayo
ill give you one each, just to get in on this topic.
Canadian Moose
Right...55 total. That just ain't enough honey, sorry.
Samurai Girl
i found another 3! im so kind
pinsleepe
Ok, I'll pay, but first I want to talk to them! GIVE THEM THE PHONE!
Canadian Moose
Fine...
*hands the phone over to Raz*
My captor is treating me well. He is very kind. I have no complaints so far in the way the Moose *THUMP* OUCH! In the way my captor is treating me. In my absence, I give over my control of the boards to Canadian Moose. He has free reign and full access to my mini bar
There, happy?
Canadian Moose
3.....
Ok...hon, your hubby is being held captive. He's crying. He wet himself.
sniper
i dont have any pinecones... but ive got a stick
pinsleepe
Oh, I don't know...

Raz is alcoholic?
Canadian Moose
A stick....
I don't need sticks, sorry.
Canadian Moose
Man, these poor suckers...with friends like these...
sniper
there's somthing missing here...
could it be...
TORTURE AND BOTCHED RESCUE ATTEMPTS?!?
Aqua
*throws rock at moose* ninja2
Canadian Moose
What the???
Ahem....Aqua....that wasn't very nice..
Aqua
im just a kid at play

*throws more rocks and then a knife*
pinsleepe
*sits in the corner and enjoy the fight*
Aqua
dont make me get Sky to burn u Suzie

pinsleepe

*makes Aqua get Sky to burn Suzie*
Aqua
*slaps u* how dare u

pinsleepe
EXCUSE ME?!
Stop hurting me

Aqua
*continues to throw rocks and knifes and Moose*
pinsleepe
*throws rocks at Luke*
ssj4goku
hands over my stash of 250000 pinecones here thats for raz
ssj4goku
jumps in my heli and flys away
pinsleepe
*hugs the guy who paid for Raz*
ssj4goku
hmmm so warm been a long time since i had a hug being single and always working guess i really never been out on a date in almost three years
JToTheP

JUDO CHOP! *judo chops moose and disappears*
ssj4goku
and heres one for scott for reasons i will not discuss here
Canadian Moose
Knives and rocks and judo chops, OH MY!
Vampy
i'll give.... 30 apples and a horse for both!
Aqua
hey! dont hurt Sky

ssj4goku
oh well shakes my pine trees in my front and back yard and begins to collect pinecones with help and 4 hours of long work i collected 750000 more pine cones here this is for raz and raz only you 1000000j pine cones for raz now let him go and keep scott for all i care
Canadian Moose
How many do you have now?
Aqua
i hate to do this...*points gun at Mooses head*
Canadian Moose
So do I....
*spins really REALLY fast and turns into
WONDERMOOSE - complete with super sexy bikini like costume.*
Not so fast dear.
*Uses wrist protector to block bullet, kicks gun from Aqua's hands, takes her aboard the INVISIBLE JET*
Aqua
that was fast o.o *bites u*
ssj4goku
:rofl: ha ha ha ha damn thats almost sexxy
Darth Sauron
I dont think kidnapping is something to joke about....
With the Un workers held in Afghanistan, ms Hassan in Iraq, and the recent case of ken bigley...
Have a lil respect please.
Aqua
moose in bikini : not sexy
moose in socks : sexy droolio
Canadian Moose
Oh...don't tease me...I like to be bitten...a little to the left.
*flies off with her*
Editors note:
Please add AQUA to the list of kidnapped people, with crazy lettering like the original letter, and add ONE MILLLION Pine cones to the total.
Thanks
Canadian Moose
I have socks.

Darth Sauron
Oh, and also.
*runs kicks down door*
*walks in with finger over button*
If i let go of this, you see that field out there, full of mooses, they all die...
hand over Samurai Guy and Raz or i push it.
Silver Stardust
So...which one's the girly one?
*looks around*
Hmm...here's 10 pinecones, all I could find...the squirrels ran off with them all.
Canadian Moose
Are you serious?
This is in no way a thread meant to be malicious, or to make fun of the kidnappings, which I agree are deplorable. This is a thread that is designed to take a little seriousness from life, because, I don't know about you, but if I live in a world where I CAN'T laugh once in a while, I will go crazy.
Aqua
shutup
i dont think im worth that much

Canadian Moose
I see you were NOT serious. Damn you for making me get up on my soapbox.
Anyhow, I'm a lone Moose...those others mean nothing to me.
And besides, I'm at my super secret base, how do you know where I am??
Canadian Moose
Yanno, I REALLY don't know.
Aqua
oh...i feel loved cry
Darth Sauron
Im sauron, i have a big flaming eye, i know where everyone is
*points weird...moosekilling kryptonite at the moose guy

*
Darth Sauron
i didnt see he had you, sorry hug
*demands the release of Aqua also*
Aqua
hey moose u should add the kidnapped peeps to your sig yes
Aqua
i got a hug from a cute guy(becides sky droolio)

*blushes really deeply*
Aqua
where did moose go?

Canadian Moose
I'm here. just deciding what to do with you next.
mini me 0206
*runs in wiv guns* let them go moose *is very scared now
Canadian Moose
Uhh...no.
*drops into crazy ninja stance and prepares to attack*
.o0{How the hell does everyone keep finding my super secret lair?}
mini me 0206
*runs up the wall*
Canadian Moose
WHAT? How the hell? You can't just SAY you can run up a wall...and then do it!
Actually, you probably can, this IS the internet.
Canadian Moose
First of all, how old are you?

Aqua
um...im a 2 (human) year old puppy and a 14 year old girl

(15 in january

)
Canadian Moose
Ok, forget that ploy. I'll give you the G-rated treatment.

Aqua
i would rather have a rated r one
o.o
Canadian Moose
Which would of course lead to a lengthy prison term for me. Jail is not kind to Moose.
Aqua
thats cause mooses r fat

Canadian Moose
I AM NOT FAT! I'm big boned.

Darth Sauron
you got one from me too
*ddges tomatoes thrown from unsatisfied audience*
Samurai Girl
Ok..............is the ransom been paid............I miss my hubby
Aqua
i heard the police say your head is big boned

mini me 0206
fine i give up moose can i help u with ramsonin
Canadian Moose
Huh? You're mean.

Darth Sauron
No she isnt

your not supposed to be nice to your kidnappers
say, what would happen if we refused this ransom>
Raz
I love getting kidnapped!

Aqua
your not the only one Raz naughty
Canadian Moose
Be quiet you. Or no more beer and cheerleaders for the rest of the day.
She-Devil
Raz kidnapped?!?
Where's the party

Aqua
how come he gets stuff?
the mods should know
Canadian Moose
Like he said...I have dibs on his Mini bar....
What's your poison?
Canadian Moose
would you like beer and cheerleaders too?
Darth Sauron
hey, im good in pom poms

Aqua
one i hate any drink but water and hot chocolate
two im a girl and would prefer a german sheperd instead of cheerleaders

Canadian Moose
You know, I will TOTALLY take your word on that, m'kay?

Canadian Moose
you don't get to CHOOSE. You're a prisoner.
Aqua
im sure they will cover your lovely ass

Aqua
fine then im not strippping schmoll
Canadian Moose
Well, now, HANG ON!
*Gives her hot chocolate, water and German Shepherds*
Ok?
She-Devil
Hey if this is a party? can I get some vodka?
The Ones
*tosses 3 million pine cones at moose* let them go moose you got your money but if that dont satisfy you kidnap me aswell beca-oh crap!!!
Aqua
did u really think i would strip? *makes the doggies go after moose*

Canadian Moose
*wonders how it went from a kidnapping to a party*
Ok, but only if you help me with this whole scheme.
Canadian Moose
I was hoping....*runs*
Canadian Moose
MWAHAHAHAHA. I never realized how important these people were to you lowly denizens.
since you are willing to pay that much, maybe you'll pay.
ONE GAZILLION PINE CONES!!
Aqua
im worth a gazillion pine cones? o.O
The Ones
ok thats it kidnap me. ive lost the will do to anything with my life!!!
Silver Stardust
Yeah, well I'm being held hostage by people unknown because everyone's too busy searching for pinecones cry
Canadian Moose
*shrugs*
Ok, come on in. *opens the door*
TV is to the left, bathroom to the right.
Canadian Moose
Psst..hon...it's NOT someone unknown. I did that too.

Silver Stardust
You moosey bastard...
Meh, so long as there's a stereo...
She-Devil
How do you want help Mr Moose
The Ones
im going to sleep (offline) bye
Clovie
what are you doing?

Aqua
im watching tv droolio
Canadian Moose
I can make it good for you here, so relax.
Fruit cup? *hands her a fruit cup
Canadian Moose
Mr Moose...I LIKE that.
Help me kidnap, torture and entertain our guests/hostages
mini me 0206
pays enough pine cones to let aqua and raz free yay for me
Aqua
*changes channels stops at the KMC News channel and sees a wanted poster of Moose*

Silver Stardust
Fruit cup? Sure, why not...I am kinda hungry...
*takes it and eats the fruit*
She-Devil
Well i can't torture or entertain Samurai Guy he is married, Aqua is a lady...so that leaves me Raz! And you said this wasn't a party.
Aqua
theres also The Ones....who just joined us

Canadian Moose
Ooooh OOOOH! *pushes past her* which one did they use?
Oh NOT that one! I look at dopey and those pants make my ass look like 2 midgets wrestling under a blanket.

mini me 0206
so r they free moose
Canadian Moose
Ok...well....entertain me, and I will do the rest. When this is all said and done, you will be a VERY rich supermodel.
Aqua
hey its not their fault that u kidnapped us

Canadian Moose
Of course not! Then the thread would be done and this would be pointless...
Like there is so much point to it anyways.

mini me 0206
are aqua and raz free or not i payed the ramson
Silver Stardust
When you kidnap people, you run the risk of them using a bad picture of you for the wanted posters

mini me 0206
if they aint free kdnap me aswell
Canadian Moose
*locks Mini me in a drawer*
No.
Has anyone seen my pants?
Silver Stardust
*hides pants*
whistling
mini me 0206
someone help me out
Canadian Moose
*turns his back to her*
Is my ass REALLY that big? Honestly? Do I look fat?
Canadian Moose
What's behind your back?
mini me 0206
bangs on draw
She-Devil
I dont want to be a supermodel. But i do fancy some moose
chocolate mouse that is!

Canadian Moose
Harlot.
*covers himself in chocolate sauce*
Voila. Chocolate Moose.

Silver Stardust
*snickers*
Nothing...
Canadian Moose
You know darlin, if you want to convince someone of something, snickering is not a good idea.
Are those my pants?
mini me 0206
*saws through draw and nicks the pants throws them to moose*
Silver Stardust

I was GOING to try and get him to let us go if I returned his pants!!! But you ruined it!!!
mini me 0206
doesnt nick the pants stands there lookin
Canadian Moose
Allrighty then. My new apprentice. Nice work lil fella. *Lets him out of the drawer and puts him on my shoulder*
Ok..so, it's your job now, to be my lil stool pigeon and let me know if anyone is out of line.
*feeds him a cracker*
As for YOU mizz Stardust....
She-Devil
laughs and tickles moose's ear. RUN stardust
Canadian Moose
*throws him back in the drawer*

Silver Stardust
Oh yeah? What about me?
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