Sit on Santa Moose's Lap

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Canadian Moose
It's getting to be that time of year again.

Presents...parties....eggnog.

Christmas is fast approaching, and being the giving person that I am, I want to do my part.

We all know that Santa is dead. That last orgy with the elves and reindeer took him over the edge. They say syphilis is rare these days....tell that to St, Nick. sad

ANYhow...I have agreed to take his place. I've set up shop in the North Pole, and ass cracked all the drugged out STD ridden populace and got them back in shape. Christmas WILL go on. But, I got rid of the Jolly fat man's list, and started fresh. I'm making my OWN list, and if you F**K up, you're toast.

So, come on, throw away those inhibitions and tell ole Santa Moose what you want.

I won't bite.

Much.

shellie
*starts the line and waits*

DarkPheonix
*gets behind Shellie*

Canadian Moose
Well, don't just stand there.

HOE HOE HOE!

Slip on that there lingerie and sit down *pats knee* wink

DarkPheonix
*slips into a sheer silver night gown that comes about 2inches above the kneeswink* waiting for you shellie your 1st

shellie
no need...i brought my own thank you...*unbuttons shirt revealing red silk....and settles my self on Santa Moose's knee*

sad ive been naughty Santa...

Canadian Moose
*digs this Christmas shite*

Have you...*checks list*

Ah yes...you've corrupted approximately 4,325 young men this month alone....what do you have to say for yourself?

Alice_In_Chains
BARRR HUMBUGmad sad

shellie
wanna be # 4,326 ? shifty

DarkPheonix
hey... r u trying to get better gifts this year? if it works let me know wink

Canadian Moose
Hoe Hoe Hoe...

I see now.

This makes things very interesting for me.

What you are proposing is *** for tat...so to speak.

Present for present?

What IS it you want for Christmas?

Canadian Moose
Now now little one, there will be plenty of time to grumble and complain when you get up here, but for now, just sit down and shut up.

Merry Christmas.

shellie
whatever you have in your...sack...will do *settles in more*

Alice_In_Chains
no no

Canadian Moose
Well Jeeezum crow woman, you don't have to wait until Christmas for that!

*puts up sign*

Santa Moose will be back in 4 days.

DarkPheonix
nooooooooooooooooooo......*wants to see santa moose!!!!*

Sarsaparilla
laughing hysterical lol


GO MOOSEY!!

Canadian Moose
Damn...I can't dissapoint all the kids waiting...

*grabs Phoenix* You'll just have to share Shellie's present. evil face

shellie
evil face later...ladies

Sarsaparilla
laughing

Canadian Moose
I won't leave the fellas out either....but no damn presents that require me touching you.

DarkPheonix
sound good to me shexy moose

shellie
the more the merrier wink

Sarsaparilla
eek! ill come videotape it!!

DarkPheonix
ooo baby.... *mwah* wink

DarkPheonix
you can join wink

Canadian Moose
Somehow, i KNEW you would say that. wink



*4 Days later*

smoke


Next!

Canadian Moose
How the hell did we go from Christmas to orgies? stick out tongue

DarkPheonix
doesnt matter.. twas gooooooooodwink

JToTheP
ninja *sneaks into line*

shellie
you're fault for being sooooooooo damn hot in a kilt*remembers those legs*

JToTheP
ninja urgh... sick ....*pulls out bong quick*

DarkPheonix
droolio

Storm
*sneaks to the presents while everyone is busy* ninja

Canadian Moose
ROFL laughing

DarkPheonix
*catches* Ill help you wink

lol




*ransacks all the presents w/ storm*

Canadian Moose
those aren't presents dear, they're colostomy bags.

DarkPheonix
ur bad.....*spanks santa moose*

JToTheP
LOL, REINDEER! *jumps on fake rudolph's back* FLY...FLY GUY!!!

Storm
*sneaks to the other bags while CM is getting spanked*

DarkPheonix
*becomes a distraction for storm*

JToTheP
*rocks the fake rudolph getting angry* FLY!!!!!!!!!!111111 *falls off and lays on the floor*

DarkPheonix
lmao!!!!!

Canadian Moose
laughing laughing

Dude, I'll take the kilt off.

No no, wait, I didn't mean THAT.

DarkPheonix
ooo baby take it off!!!

lol

Storm
*sneaks out with the presents*

DarkPheonix
*follows* split um?

JToTheP
Wait....there's ANOTHER guy in a kilt now!?!?!? sick *smokes bong more in a panic*

Canadian Moose
*gasping for air and fighting to get free*

What the HELL...?


Dasher! Dancer! Get your bony asses out here!

mightymunt44
i got a simple present request a car so i can see a special someone

DarkPheonix
hahahahahahahaha

rlmfao

DarkPheonix
embarrasment..... yooooooou........

I c u finally found me......

mightymunt44
yes i did find you im special like that

shellie
*gives you the keys to my sports car..* make a run for it Santa

rogue938
awwwwww

mightymunt44
*takes the car and starts driving around at roughly 200 mph*
-don't worry i wont' crash it

Canadian Moose
I can't...DP has me tied up...

Call the police... or at least JttP....he can help...

DarkPheonix
HEY THTA WAS FOR SANTA MOOSE!!!!!


GET HIM.. save santas car!!!!... hes worth nothing to me... I swear wink


lol

DarkPheonix
bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
I'll get you my pretty and you little moose too

mightymunt44
hey now that's not nice
how bout this we'll share the car you can have it on fridays and weekends and i'll take it all the rest of the time

JToTheP
WAR CALL!!!!!!! *tumbles over fake Rudolph and runs and gets attacked by Santa's #1 elf and knocked unconcious*

Sarsaparilla
HEY! IM RUNNIN' OUT OF FILM HERE!! GET BACK TO THE BANGING!!

DarkPheonix
lol


well then.. come here hun......we gotta use that film in better ways huh?

DarkPheonix
but I have a car..... silly kisses

shellie
*sneaks and unties you while DP is distracted by the camera man*

DarkPheonix
notices and cries* but that was my favorite toy!!!!!

Canadian Moose
I'm not a toy!

I had this soooo under control...I was the man!

The Yule tide Pimp....The Holly Humper....The master of the misletoe...and NOW look at me!

Storm
*raises eyebrow*

DarkPheonix
*grab hold of leg* my toy...... wanna play shifty

Syren
Yah, but now Mrs X is here to save the freakin' day y'all raver

Sarsaparilla
no! your supposed to the the shellie-phoenix humper, but now since you wasted all that film, i LOST money!

shellie
laughing

DarkPheonix
hey I offered.....

Syren
hug

'S ok sweetie, we'll go make some real nice film together wink

Canadian Moose
*claps* My heroine...*bats eyelashes*

Sarsaparilla
clap goodie!

Canadian Moose
But, I HAVE my Mrs. Santa Moose all picked out though...

Sarsaparilla

DarkPheonix
who is it?

shellie
finally...some freaking sanity.....'bout damn time girl wink

Syren
*dons t-shirt bearing the slogan; 'I'm with Cupid'*

diva

DarkPheonix
lmao

Sarsaparilla
smokin' Still need film....

Syren
That is so goddamn sexy pimp We look so hot together wink

DarkPheonix
oh my O_o.... goodness.....

Canadian Moose
laughing

*dons his own T-shirt*

"Hung like a deformed Whale*
embarrasment

Wooops...heh heh...

*changes shirts*

"Cupid"

DarkPheonix
deformed is right wink


lol

Canadian Moose
That DOES look good together....

It's just not fair to the rest of the world that we are so sexy...damn.

*licks finger, touches his ass*


SIZZZZZLE wink

Sarsaparilla
hysterical

hey at least its the size of a whale. deformed or not.

Syren
hysterical

Ever seen a Moose do that?? You have now.......

And it's my move, totally wink

Syren
You hysterical'd at the same time as I hysterical'd confused

Canadian Moose
laughing

The kid has a point.

*puts other shirt back on*

LordKerrigor
dont do it hes got a boner!

Sarsaparilla
butt out lamo

Sarsaparilla
this calls for a filming! smokin'

vaya_the_elf
no expression

Canadian Moose
Ohhhkay...*looks at Kerrigor's post*...

Anyhow..I gotta go.

Later everyone...

Take it easy with the filming Sassy....you could go blind. But then again...WHAT A WAY TO GO BLIND! laughing out loud

Special goodnight to the uber sexy Syren...you totally rock girl...

Ciao.

vaya_the_elf
Byes.

Syren
*sigh*

Like, oh my gaaawd, he is the bomb happy

JToTheP
*runs around and trips over fake Rudolph, knocking down all other fake reindeer, and beginning to hump Santa's chair* ninja blink

silver_tears
Yes well blink

JToTheP
Santa left his post, sooooo!!!! evil face *humps the chair more, knocking it over in the process*

silver_tears
*steps back a little* have fun darling happy

Nazgulinthedark
santa moose?...your...not...burly!...cry

Frosty Beverage
Santa cwuase!! Santa Cwuase!!! Bye...
*leaves thread*

Sarsaparilla
thumb up thumb up

MornGlory
I want to be the Queen of hamster land
and
I want some baby pink leg warmers

please.

flowers

Canadian Moose
Rrrrriiight. Ok....

I have absolutely no response for that. I'm tapped. roll eyes (sarcastic)

AvP
i want misha in my sack please

She-Devil
I want chocolate sauce and Kosta

Canadian Moose
roll eyes (sarcastic) I can only put the poor girl in so many sacks! Get in line with the rest of them...*motions to the lne stretching WAY back* wink

Canadian Moose
Chocolate sauce AND Kosta or ON Kosta?

She-Devil
This is a pg-13 site......just give me the sauce and kosta i will think of some ways to use it

AvP
OK, i'll have a plane ticket to her home then please

Canadian Moose
*shrugs* You got it...

Wait...this chocolate sauce appears to have been used already... wink

Canadian Moose
*checks list*

But it says here that you've murdered 11 people this year...

AvP
no i havn't

Kosta
mmmmm....she-devil and chocolate sauce! Gimme a tub of Strawberies, some cream, and She-devil evil face

Canadian Moose
laughing out loud


Allrighty then.

I'm beginning to feel more like a pimp than Santa Moose, but, tis the season to be naked. wink

Samurai Guy
Inhibitions? Sitting on your lap? It is like you were reading my dream journal! big grin

Canadian Moose
laughing out loud

embarrasment
Damnit! *hides journal*

So....*awkward silence*

How's...stuff....Scott?

Samurai Guy
Yeah... stuff.

Stuff is alright. You know.... um.. its.. doing...

u...m....

doing... good.

Kosta
*twiddles thumbs* *looks around*....nice...wallpaper....

Canadian Moose
Good...good...*shuffles feet*

so...hockey....kinda, sucks...eh?

I...umm...yeah...whistling1

Canadian Moose
*cough*

Thanks...I had...a decorator come in....

*absently cracks knuckles*


So...how about those...All Blacks?

AvP
who have i supposed to have killed then

Samurai Girl
I dont want nuffin..Im happy just to sit here! laughing out loud

Canadian Moose
laughing out loud

Me too. wink

Canadian Moose
Btw....have you read Scott's journal?

*embarrassed* I have...and well...there are some very....strange things in there.... embarrasment

AvP
you still haven't answered my question

Samurai Girl
Scott has a journal..Budge over mooose...lets share this book

Kosta
I hear evil spirits fly out when you open it

AvP
evil spirits *hides*

Canadian Moose
*sigh*

It was an offhanded remark regarding your eligibilty to receive gifts in the calendar year 2004. It was in no way meant to illicit the immediate response that it has. The validity of the information contained here within is subject to the "Santa Moose Gift Eligibilty Commission - 2004" and is collected with the sole purpose of negating the ability of ineligible members from collecting said gifts. Should you dispute the information, please contact, Mr. Samurai Guy, 1800 You Liar and he will hear your appeal.

Thank you.

Santa Moose

Canadian Moose
Ok...but I have to warn you...it's explicit. And there are several reference to me, olive oil and cattle prods. embarrasment *Pats her hand* I'm sorry..

AvP
sad

Kosta
*Stams post* This post complies with the KMC law handboock issue 33038882.

Samurai Girl
cries

Canadian Moose
Thank you. laughing out loud

Canadian Moose
But on the other hand, there's this entry about you!

"Nicci was wearing the sweetest outfit tonight...it fit her like a glove...she looked so sexy. I MUST ask her if I can borrow it..."


Actually...maybe that wasn't a good example...

AvP
but i didn't kill anyone
*puts on diguise and sits on lap and asks for an airline ticket to sydney

Samurai Girl
walks out crying..............

AvP
is still sitting on lap waiting for a reply

Kosta
WHy are you crying??? sad sad sad sad

Kosta
*gasp* Scott is a drag queen! eek!

AvP
shes gone now

Canadian Moose
*eyes AvP*

You a guy?

JToTheP
mad LISTEN BUDDY, I WOULDN'T BE DOING THIS IF IT WAS ANY LESS THAN $100, NOW GIMME MY $500!!!!!!! ranting *smacks fake Dasher*

AvP
yeah i'm a guy *in a deeper tone of voice*

Canadian Moose
Mmmkay then....*tosses him OFF his lap*

We have RULES here....RULES....

*hands him a ticket to Sydney*

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