Kids, why God created them...

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Baylin
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)


To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.


AND FINALLY:


IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Phoenix Aska
Children are cute...

Baylin
you have children?

Anna85
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's cool!

Drumdude1167
woah...where did you come up with that....good lord...Are you a fricken Genius because thats one of the most hilarious stories i have ever read.

Anna85
yes smile

Anna85
You were also a kid once, weren't u????

Phoenix Aska
^good point

Vampy
AAAHHH no please, NOT CHILDREN!!! crybaby

take them away!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!

drunk_nazgul
children: cute, but I couldn't stand childbirth.


poor God. He had the very first children.

Anna85
kids are kind of cute but very bad. anyway i like them

Baylin
My little girl (15 months old) is gorgeous I love her to bits but at the moment she's full of cold and right royal pain in the ass.

I love my kids all the time, I just sometimes hate being a parent... wink

Anna85
sooo... u've got kids

Baylin
Yup, check out my pics in here http://www.killermovies.com/forums/memberpics.php?s=&sortby=member&pagenumber=5 if you want to see them.

Dreampanther
I LOVE kids!
I especially enjoy them medium-rare, with a barbeque sauce and a side order of fries. Yum-yum!

Baylin
Sounds good Dreampanther! no expression

rogue938
I love children and want to have my own someday. i love the names andromeda, hope, abagail, anne, egypt, oceania, rebecca, loreli for girls.oh and sakura.
aramis, willie- for my grandfather, darian, liam, dylan, kinkade, and some others. kids are one of the best things in life that you can have.

silver_tears
sing it sista! smokin'

TOH
Congrats, you have a beautiful family Baylin yes

rogue938
sad people in this forum

silver_tears
how do you figure?

shellie
this has got to be the smartest damn thread ive seen in such a long time laughing out loud i love it and its soooooooooooo true , espailly the "things to think about" .

Paola
^ That's the truest thing I've read in a long time!

notworthy

nice one Baylin!

MC Mike
Snotty kids are bad, but snotty elders are worse. stick out tongue

Normal kids are awesome. thumb up

Paola
blink I've never met a normal kid...

They look normal at first sight, but spend 10 minutes with them and they'll kill you if they can cry

MC Mike
Not the kids I know. stick out tongue

Paola
I would want one of those..... please cry

stick out tongue

shellie
laughing to true

m!$hA
hysterical thats good baylin happy

Jackie Malfoy
I have a half baby sister and she is cute and a step nehew and I have fun with them alot and loves seeing them when I can!Yes children are a blessing.
So why do we have abortions and kill them?Just thought I would add that.Anyway nice thread bay!See you around!JM

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