Harry Potter and the Green-Flame Torch
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Interesting story, very interesting, I like it. A little fast-paced but its a good concept and I expect there will be more on the green-flame torch? Anyway, I like it a lot, very pleasing. And Sirius is back which, of course, I like. Very interesting indeed.
thank you very much Spaz Gurl and Master Siren, and yes there is going to be a lot more about the our new Torch friend, you just wait nad see!
It's very good. Keep going.
Thanks a lot! and I'v been receiving a lot of pm about how often should I upgrade the story and I'm really sorry to say that I can only upgrade it once a week because of my hedious school stuff, i'm in grade 12 if you must know, so i hope you guys would really forgive me for that (I'm feeling really guilty now).
It was too long so I didn't read it, but you should be very proud to write such a big story, and i'm guessing Harry didn't see his O.W.Ls, so you kind of screwed up in that, and sirius will never come back, so thats a bad thing you did by bringing him back, i'm glad he's gone, he was kind of annoying.........
If I made a Harry story it would be like this: "The stars littered the crimson sky as patches of blue sunk slowly beyond the horizon. A young sixteen year old boy lay on his back in the back yard of number four privet drive. His jet-black hair fell over his lime-green eyes and his glasses lay askew. This teenager was no ordinary teenager, for he was about to start his 6th year at Hogwarts School of witch craft and wizardry. Harry Potter was his name, and there was only one thing on Harry's mind at the moment."
Why dont you go and start your own story instead of butting into mine! I'm really honored that you thought I am really proud of my story though, and for your kind information, Sirius is not annoying, it seems as if you have heard from some one that he is and proceeded to post that comment instead of varifying it yourself, that was so shallow of you and in the furure try to post something nice instead of downright annoying stuff
Jheez sister!! take a chill pill!!
What ever! Just in the future remeber not to butt into other peoples business!
OK evryone enough of this silly talk, and stand by as the next part of the story comes, and here it is....
Omg...........It's a free thread, I can enter if I want, it's not butting in.
Christ, I was talking about not BUTTING IN, NOT entering, you can enter as much as you want to, but telling me how to write a story in YOUR style defenitely qualifie as butting in!
Ok every one, first I would like to apologize for not updating the story for two whole weeks and more, I was having my mid-semister exams, and incase you guys didnt know, I've got subjects like physics, technology studies, maths B, maths C, english and IPT.
But I'm free now, so stand back and relax as here comes the next part of the story!!!
I wasn't telling you how to write your story, I was saying that this is how I would write MY story.
And the last bit of your story is in-appropriate! keep it clean or I will have no choice but to report you.
hey i took your advice jenny Anderson....and started "my" harry potter and the green flame torch, this is only the beginning and hey i think your story rocks! so maybe u can gimme some advice....here it is
oh and my calligraphy sucks!
HARRY POTTER AND THE GREEN-FLAME TORCH
-SIRIUS! don't leave me, please!!
-harry, harry! the neighbors may
heard you! Harry did not understand but when he open his eyes it
all made sense, he was in his room talking in sleep, and uncle Vernon
in front of him, with face of a scared toad.
-I will not tolerate anymore you talking in your dreams boy! he
-I'm sorry sir, I'll try to keep it down. harry said while he was
trying to remember what was that he was dreaming.
When uncle Vernon left the images of harry's dream seemed very clear,
he was fighting the death-eaters and he heard Bellatrix Lestranges
laugh and sirius fell into a hole and scrammed-HARRY!!!!
When harry decided to go downstairs get some breakfast the dursley
family was already on the table, -joy..., harry whispered.
Dudley can you give me the bacon? harry asked
Dudley seemed not to hear him.
DUDLEY...will you PLEASE give me the bacon? harry asked again.
and Dudley without saying a word give the bacon plate to harry.
Thank you, harry told Dudley which Dudley's face turn to the same color
of Ron's hair.
After harry had some breakfast he decided to go for a walk to the
park near Privet Drive.
Once harry got there he sat on the swing.
-harry? harry potter? a voice asked.
harry looked up and he saw Mark Evans face.
-Hello, harry greeted.
-wow....I know all about you, evans lowered his voice and said- You
know I am a wizard as well.
-really? harry asked with bit of excitement on his voice
-yes...my parents prohibited me to tell you that I am from a wizard
family till they know for sure that I am a wizard, you see for a lot
of years nobody in family thought that I was a wizard they all thought
I was a squib, cause I never showed any clues that I had magic inside
-Wow... my friend Neville's family thought he was a squib as well.
-oh, hey I was wondering since my parents allowed me if you would
like to come to my home to have dinner tonight all my family would
kill to meet you.
- Yes I would like that very much, harry answered.
Harry was really exited about it.
It has been already two weeks since I left Hogwarts, harry thought,
and on Saturday of the third week he will go over to Hermione's!
Hermione invited Harry to go over to her home for the holidays.
When harry arrived to Privet Drive 4, he told Uncle Vernon that he would
go out for dinner, uncle Vernon didn't answered so Harry thought that
there was no problem.
Thats not the point Jenny, weither you've warned the people or not, that kind of thing is not tolerated in these forums. And for your information Its FvJ, not just plain "Freddy"
Oh, I forgot, and remember whatever the people wants they gets it! Or in other words like they say 'the customer is always right' in this case I am the sales person, and people reading this story are the customers, and you are pretty much in the minority, sorry but thats what really your position is in here.
Thats not the point, you don't post stuff like that, I don't give a damn what you say, even though its a stiry its still in-appropriate, now keep it clean or else!!!!!
Just be careful pottermad, you've only just registered, and the path you chose now may be the one you follow!
everyone i'm sorry for swearing but you must see what a nuisance fvj is turning out to be. i mean if anyone wrote a story as good as jen has done you would think that people would be swarming up to thank her for devoting all her time to the story since i get it shes got very hard subjects and is in grade 12, but noo, some are just mean, mean and mean, oh and mathsC is also called pure maths in some other country!
look kvj it's just that it bothers u know if u make-up a story and there is someone that is always like oh no u can't put that o no etc. it's really annoying so i just tell you that if you don't like her or her story there r thounsends of other harry potter forums so go there and fid one that u do like.
we forgive you mate! and um, fvj Jeny's story is alright to me and I think she is really genious to figure out about how the minstry would find sirius as innocent and about how the bartender of hogshead is really dumbledore's brother, i mean i havent given it a clue before and after reading her story i just went back to the chapter where harry goes to the bar and sees the bartender and i was completely impressed by her ingeniunity. i hope your sentiments change too!
Ladies and gentleman...here comes the next part of the story!!!
Alright pottermad I have no choice but to report you now!!
pottermad and Senshi> Cool it. Everyone is entitle to their opinion!
look if it makes u happy i will no longer post here ok?
jenny luv ur story i'll keep readin' it of course, and thanx 4 the advice...
senshi i can see we r not wanted here... lol. c ya!
For the last time I'm a girl, and your the one who needs to see a psychiatrist. Writing storys about boys getting hard-ons and searching porn on the net. If you want to write storys then fine, do that but keep them clean, and if you don't want to then this is not the place for storys like that!
OK, first of all FvJ, if you were actually a person who Jenny held in any kind of regard I'm certain she would have listened to your first post, when pointing out how you would have written it. But, obviously, the way in which you barged into her thread, cussed her down, and proceeded to say that your way was better, well that was just ridiculous. I wouldn't take it from anyone, except perhaps a close friend or parent, and even then only because I have respect for people's opinions. When they don't shove their views down my throat that is.
You, my friend, are simply arrogant and rude. You are not a moderator, no matter how much you may think of yourself, so stop acting like one with all that "keep it clean" bullshit. If her story was truly inappropriate, do you really think our perfectly capable mods wouldn't have closed the thread already? You're insulting them just by giving your opinion, and you're irritating the hell out of Jenny.
And another thing, do you realise how long it must have taken her to write all of this out?? I don't think you do. She certainly doesn't write in the same style that I do, but that gives me absolutely no right to put her down, if anything it makes me appreciate her work more, for the fact that it's different. And, for the record mate, I prefer hers to yours, at least it's original.
And also, it's just her way of trying to relate her story to real life, if you want to be really shocked check out my Adult Version Of Harry Potter in the Unhosted Role Play forum. That'll make your knickers twist themselves up. Some people are so naive
Ok, many of you seem to be fascinated about this Torch character and want to know exactly what she looks like and have been requesting me to post a picture or drawing of her if possible, so here it is. http://www.mi6.co.uk/livenews/images/aishwarya_rai.jpg
Yes innocenst little thing isn't she.
AND ANOTHER ONE!http://www.rediff.com/entertai/2000/dec/08ash1.jpg
OH AND THANKS FOR THE SUPPOSRT SYREN, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
AND ANOTHER ONE OF HER BEAUTIFUL FACE!
AND HERE ARE SOME MORE PICTURES OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS THAT HAVE CAPTURED YOUR IMAGINATION.
ANOTHER OF SIRIUS BLACK
A PICTURE OF CHO CHANG.
DRACO'S MOTHER, NARCISSA MALFOY.
ANOTHER ONE OF TORCH (IN SOME WEIRD COSTUME!)
AND HERE IS A PICTURE OF A NEW CHARACTER THAT I WOULD BE INTRODUCING PRETTY SOON IN THE NOVEL, HIS NAME IS CEASAR (PRONOUNCED AS C-ZAAR).
Alright Jenny, I'm sorry. I took the time to read your story and it was pretty good. I know I was being a bit rude and arrogant. Everybody has a right to make thier OWN storys just how they want. Keep it up, it's good work.
Yay, FvJ, nice one
And Jenny, are those celebs actually going to play the characters? Obviously Daniel, Rupert and Emma, but the others?? Angelina? And was that Jordan and Christina???
That would be one hell of a movie
Oh, and the guy who plays Ced, yummmmmmm..........
No they're not...I'm not sure about Cedric but the rest I'm pretty sure they're not
They won't, J.K Rowling said she wanted the HP cast to be interly British.
Another picture of Cho Chang
I like your story very much, but it would be pointless trying to get it published unless it was a parody.
The fact that you have used the same characters and scene locations would constitute as copright.
If you want to get your story published, change the names of the characters etc, so they are still recognisable but parodied in some way. If you don't know what a parody is, check my Adult Version of HP:
Don't try to get it published until you have made it entirely your own, or you will find yourself in trouble honey, and that would be such a waste.
I just read your whole story again, and I'm still seeing it as fantastic. Of course, there is a lot that could be done to improve it, as with any story they are never perfect, but it is excellent.
I would love to be a part of this and write a chapter, but obviously it's your story so I won't just jump in
If, however, you need any help with characters, or if, horrors, you get writer's block, feel free to PM me and I'll help you out.
Oh, and I'd love for you to add a chapter to my Adult Version, mine's a complete parody, piss-take, call it what you will, and a few members have written some really good stuff in there. I'd be honoured if you would do the same
Keep it up Jen, I'm greatly anticipating the next part of the story.....
LILY EVANS POTTER
LUPIN (I WOULD'VE PUT THE PICTURE OF DAVID THEWLIS HERE BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT QUENTIN TARENTINO LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM ONLY MORE GOOD LOOKING!)
They are some good character ideas.........
OK, here's a picture of Ron and Hermione together.
DEMENTORS AROUND THE HOGWARTS CASTLE.
I'V FOUND OUT THE ACTORS WHO ARE GOING TO PLAY MADAM MAXIM AND MOODY! HERE THEY ARE
Woah, Jenny, calm it girl!!
I'm hoping you'll continue the story soon
thnx jenny!! long time i haven't posted in this thread... but thank you!
thnx jenny!! long time i haven't posted in this thread... but thank you!
and OMG the storie is goin' soooo well!!
sorry i posted twice^^
Hilarious? How is it hilarious?
I'd say very well written, smooth and flowing, keep it up Jen
Ok guys, here comes the new and improved part of the story and more!
Lady von Tramp
But, the first installment is basically a chapter from The Order of The Phoenix re-written........
What are you talking about?
Lady von Tramp
This part, very familiar hun, I'm not saying you copied it, it's obvious you've written it in your own words, but it's got pretty much the same detail as The Phoenix. Not just one chapter from it, but lots put together. Then again, maybe that's a good thing, coz it keeps in with the same style as the other books. Oh, just ignore me, I'm musing.......
Very good story jennyanderson. Plz continue.
Ok the next part of the story, and here it is...
Um, Lady von Tramp, i thought your name was Syren, how come your allowed to change your name?
Ok, next part of the story...
All U can say is I love this story Excellent
i just LOVE your story jen! they're sooo great! PLEASE hurry back from Queensland! can anyone tell me when she posted that? i'd like to know so i i have an idea of when she'll get back
She posted that on the 25th of June, it says at the bottom left hun.
And Jenny, your story's getting really, really good, I'm loving it. Sorry for the previous comments about it being too similar, I thought about it and it needs to be, to have a good flow. You're an excellent writer, keep it up
Oh, you are allowed to change your name, use the Edit Profile button and change your name in the correct box, but the name you choose has to stay for a week before you change it again
oh, right, i knew that
btw, i found this story from the google thingie u mentioned earlier jen
Very good Jenny, but your username has to stay like that for 2 weeks actually, and Raz said he'll extend the period.
HEY GUYS HOW ARE YOU? I'M FINE OH, AND HERE COMES THE NEXT PART OF THE STORY...
Look, jenny, how can you bring back Sirius to life? To me , it makes no sense, whatsoever. Miss Rowling killed him off, for a reason.The books are supposed to get darker, with more deaths.
Very strange on your opinion on beyond the veil.
Ok, here comes the next part of the story...
Yes, of course I did. I'm a very tough critic. So i'm not going to bother you anyways, since i'm writing my own version of the sixth book. Try to restrain yourself, from ranting about my version. I hate ranters...don't even bother to read what they have to say.
I must say, I would like to Sirius back to life - IMO Remus and he were the best character in the books - but I must also say that I believe Rowling won't write him alive again, except maybe in dreams or something. It was a very inventive way of keeping him alive though, I do like it. (No doubt I['ll be wrong just because I wrote that
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