Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

I'm just wondering...

no comment. . .

*phew*

Im not a woman.

We don't know each other well enough yet.

I'm sure Kerry does.

You are in my eyes baby. MWAH.

Ok Ok Ok puke Enough of this...

Where is our Sexy thread damnit?!

I don't use you Moose, not at all.

You're saying our relationship is baseless, mindless SEX? Is that what you are reducing it to??!!

I can dig that...

But would you like to?

No thats ok.

What? Me say that?

Do you?

sex with a moose ?


......scarey thought

I know I do diva

Irene, I had no idea you were into bestiality puke

I feel so dirty..

MORE! *giggles*

What can I say, the antlers turn me on

Staying alive...staying alive

I'm crushed...literally.

I thought you had my back man..

We're tight aren't we?

I DON'T USE MOOSE FOR ANY REASONS!!!!!!!!!
p.s. I don't even know him

No.

Most beasts, well, no- they're SO beastly.
Moose is "Special," haven't you noticed that thread?

Hi, I'm Moose. *extends hoof*

You're posts are always so eloquent.

I have your back, and you ain't getting it back!

What....are you going to do with it?

Ok Raz...just relax...put it down...and step away from the back...

No- do it, do it. Flog him! I've seen the pics of him and Moosette. Don't let him Deny!

Hey! What?

I....

You...


I thought you were leaving.

Yes...it's so scrumptious at the moment, it's so hard...

im afraid so sweety cry

but it's just so damn good when its with a moose droolio

LOOK! I'm SORRY bout the time I used you. For gods sake, how many times do I have to apolagise!

And I thought this was a thread about a new kind of lubricant which comes as a moose!!

application instructions: Rub moose on your genitals.

Re-apply as needed.

If moose does not work.....Buy more.....and apply.

Also available in chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

Caution: may cause genitals to fall off.

If you had just CALLED me...none of this would have happened.

Oh for God's sake...

This juist gets sick day by day...

I TRIED to but the line waws either busy or you werent answering!

YOU WERE TALKING TO THAT KERRI GIRL WERENT YOU!!! OOOH I AUGH TO!....... Shes nothing but trouble

We should lock Moose in my bedroom...because...er....he's the few of the last ones and we don't want him to be extinct...

*runs*

Oh....yeah.....thats uh.....deffinately the reason....umm....yeah *cough*

It's what you're ment to think!!

*gasp*
Surely you don't think...I mean...what are you insinuating? That I'm a s.lutty moose?

How...erm...humanely resposible of you...

Well, see that just shows I care....



Or do I?

We do have a moose conservation program where I live. I'm with Tel, though- he'd be safer and happier in her bedroom. You see, conservation round here involves "herd management..." Run, Moose, run- for Tel's bedroom, fast as you can. Sounds like her initiative is more of a breeding program?

I....don't...know...?

Am I safe there?

How awful. Herd management. We don't need help herding.

Breeding program?

*opens her room door for moosey*

It's so rewarding to help return a magnificant animal to its natural habitat...

Yeah, I feel as though I deserve a reward!

What is it you want?

How the hell is Telpy's bedroom my natural habitat?

well, it's a bedroom...

*scatters some grass on the floor* Sowwie about that, how do you like my...I mean YOUR new home

??

And look, there's the bed!!

Am I to assume then that I am sleeping on the floor?

Uh Uh!

*hops on the bed...which crashes under his weight*

I guess I am sleeping on the floor...

Meaning....that I am most at ease in a bedroom?

I wud never use a moose for sex!

Yes, well, Telpy's a Wolf Maiden- and I "hear" this sort of thing happens all the time in the UpNorth.

Ok...forgetting for a moment that Scott is not around...or whatever...seeing that I am a different sort of moose...?

*looks at her bed!!*

Ouch...my bd!

Your B & D? Your toys? You were storing them underneath, hey?

What do we do now?

Well, I could lend you two the key to my basement scene room- if you'll clean up nice. Now, the table is rated for 5,000 pounds pressure- will that do?

Well..I'm about 1400...and how much do you TWO weigh?

Why I NEVER! I would NEVER EVER! Oh MY! How could you think that!

I'm 110- but we're talking pounds of pressure, not weight...I can be quite forceful.

What kind of table is this?

Anyhow...forceful + Moose +

Exspensive, LOL, I'm not too sure I want a Moose on it!

*whispers* I'm not really a moose...I just play one on the internet...

Ooooooh. I got you. (I'm not actually a symbiotically-enhanced serial killer/ bride of Kasady- I just play one, sometimes, on the net...)

You fascinate me.

And scare me.

Are you married?

And I'm not really a......oh....yeah I am.........*screams*

Well, once I was "married," as I was living in New Orleans, where there are a LOT of old laws on the books! According to K, I was a common-law wife. Also, according to him, he had the right to beat me with a stick no longer than 24 inches. Well, let's just say the stick was safely under 24 inches!

What ARE you anyhow?

My stomach hurts, that how much I'm laughing.

Are you serious? Of course you are...why would you say it otherwise?

Wow...I don't know what to say.

"Stick-" got it, now?

I dont actually know . The last time I tried to look in the mirror, it shattered before I got a chance to see. I've been told I look like a cross between a smurf a a purple hippo and a furry frying pan......

In a bunny suit?
I think you couldn't be more lovely.

No...but I'm tired and Canadian...I'm sorry. I also have 34 files sitting in front of me needing to be taken care of...

Oh, well, waiting for it is fun...
Files? Medical or Legal? I have to keep files...hate it!
Although, I enjoy making "fun" files and archiving them.

Awwww, youre a saint *Lets out a snorty laugh*

I could be...Saint of Killers?

Fun files?

Evil wrong doer files...and they are not nearly THAT exciting.

Ok...it's not coming through, honest injun...I'm not normally so slow...

Beat me with your "stick" equals...

no, some use PEOPLE for that

His stick?

Oh Clover...

His stick...ya think? Heheheh- I know, it wasn't that good of a joke...still, I did think it suffered more from obviousness rather than unfunniness. Ah, well, it's A.M. here, and I'm trying to get the cranberry sauce to gel...

what?

I would REALLY like to delve into your mind, you know that? If it's half as interesting as the things you say, I'd be kept busy for years.

Where are you?

In a cold, Northern part of an Evil Empire..
Well, that's a bit harsh. At the moment, it's quite warm for November!
I'm in Wisconsin now (blushes).
So, that's me and Cherry Pie. Who else?

wisconsin?
wow, for a minit i had that confused with wyoming, cheese comes from wisconsin, but wyoming's just a myth

Cheese and beer and brats... that's ALL that's going on here, I swear...

By the by, you're ALL invited for cheese and beer and brats...
Except you nice folk from Minnesota. Please stay away.

yay, cheese,beer and sausage!

Whey hey! Beer!

You aren't that far from me then....well, far enough I suppose.

With such a poorly guarded border?

going INTO canadia is free, COMING BACK costs $5

Red, I think moosey has a crush

Stupidity tax?

We KNOW he has a crush, Moosette- we've seen Pimped By Moosette.com.

Huh?

furious You want beef, preppy?

I am so kidding.

Just shut up and kiss me you fool.

*grabs Moose by lapels on Moose-shirt and pulls him in for a wet one*

naughty

Hey- it's my X-mas freebie! Thanks for the added value, kiddos- not that Pimped By Moosette.com isn't a fair bit of content for the cost.

*leans back in her arms in a dip...feels antlers getting VERY hot*

Wha???

Kerry, hon...help?

Can I take the Fifth? Even if I'm British??

Sure, sure, but if you're going to drink it all yourself...that's simply not mannerly, is it? Thought you Brits were a mannerly sort.

I meant that Amendment thing.... Not a fifth, although, vodka does sound rather appealing right now.

Ahh, the admendment- how about we share both?

*offers bottle*

Sure....

So, we took the Fifth Amendment, we solemnly swear by this 100% proof bottle of Smirnoff not to say a single word on the matter of Pimped By Moosette.com.

Can I still discuss Moosette's Medieval Room.com?

Um.

I think it best if we avoid discussions regarding my transgressions....

Bye for now dear, take care of my Moose

The FECK is going on???????

Moose, honey, I have to go too...purely coincidental.

Uh huh...

*jumps on moosey* droolio

OOF...hi...sweetie...how are you?

better now

Why is that miss ninja?

Are you tired today?

Need a massage?

Mr Moose has nice hooves to cure the tiredness!
Just be careful of the antelers...

cause I'm here now droolio with thou naughty

Like I'd ever turn down a massage!

Shucks...I bet you say that to all the moose...go on with you...

Go on...keep talking...tell me more about me.

Do you have snow yet??

I do

Fair enough...
You'll need back up!

I'll deal with the ladies, you deal with the men!!

Umm....WHAT? I don't want to be touching no man...

Neither do I!!

How about you take the sexy ladies....

....and I take the sexier ones!!!

Oh SHITE! You're a guy!

*moose awakes from his dumb slumber*

Ok then...and I thort you were gonna give me a massage...

*cough*

Excuse me for a moment.

*scrubs himself all over with steel wool until he bleeds*

There, much cleaner.

that'lll learn ya to be all free with yourself

That's right, no whoriness for you moosey nono

Ok...how 'bout just with females?

And besides...I thought that was what was you loved about me?!

I suppose it's alright with females, but only me droolio
And it was actually your physique that got to me

Now what kinda girl would have Black Dragon as a user name?!

Is there any sexy lawyers here? I want to sue Mr Moose!!

...

SO, I'm just a piece of sex candy to you?

I can live with that.

I wish i could use Moose for sex

Get your lawyer ready!!

Not like you had any other choice whip2flirt1

You're a guy too!

What is going on here? Do I have a GAYDAR or something?

Like I'd want one...