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http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/greenl.htm

i came caross this site while searching the internet the other day, and thought it was quite funny

I've seen that site before it's hilarious.

That site's classic.

"Once or twice he'd go crazy with it and if he needed to knock something over, he'd create himself a crazy robot bulldozer and a viking hard hat, but most days he would just shoot green energy at the thing until it fell over. The Wonder Twins may have sucked, but when they needed to knock something over, they never took it out the easy way. At their most sensical, they'd turn into a giant lobster (with water backpack) or a rhino squid (in ice belt). Green Lantern would punch people with things as uncreative as a giant hand. He had to know kids were watching; he could have tried harder to make it more interesting. Like a giant hand with **** or a talking hamburger."

"Green Lantern's ring was the most powerful weapon in the universe except against the color yellow. I'm not kidding, his weakness was the color yellow. You might think he'd try to keep something like that secret, but there is nothing Green Lantern liked to talk about more. He'd wave a fist at the bad guys and shout, "Justice will prevail today, villains! Unless you learn that my power energy cannot affect that which is yellow!" And to make Green Lantern the most unlucky person in the universe, his nemesis Sinestro had a ring that made things that were yellow. That's like twin brothers fighting, only one gets baseball bat with spikes and has a giant purple head.

Green Lantern got his super ring when a navy bean-headed alien crash landed on Earth and handed it to him right before he died. I guess in space no one makes out a will. When you think you're about to die, you pick up a phone book and give everything you own to whatever name your finger lands on. And if you're handing over a potentially universe-threatening weapon, even better that it goes to a randomly selected stranger!




Serious Fact: I keep a white board by my VCR, and marked down every time Green Lantern's powers worked against yellow. Out of 30 episodes where Green Lantern appeared, his powers worked against the color yellow 24 times. In fact, in 3 episodes, the stuff he made was yellow already. It had to be something wrong with my TV, since I figured if you made a yellow rocket that couldn't touch the color yellow, the world would explode. No, my TV was fine. Either the guys who colored the show had all their green markers dry up, or they got ****ing hammered before they started.

The ring could make anything he could think of which usually wasn't much. Once or twice he'd go crazy with it and if he needed to knock something over, he'd create himself a crazy robot bulldozer and a viking hard hat, but most days he would just shoot green energy at the thing until it fell over. The Wonder Twins may have sucked, but when they needed to knock something over, they never took it out the easy way. At their most sensical, they'd turn into a giant lobster (with water backpack) or a rhino squid (in ice belt). Green Lantern would punch people with things as uncreative as a giant hand. He had to know kids were watching; he could have tried harder to make it more interesting. Like a giant hand with **** or a talking hamburger."

"It's a pretty common assumption that Batman and Robin were lovers, but Batman at least tried to hide it. He put a little belt on Robin so it looked like he was a fellow crime fighter, not just some kid he puts his tongue in when there's no evil to punch. Kids watching the show could defend him. They could tell their parents, "No, look. Robin has his own crime belt. I told you he wasn't his boyfriend." Green Lantern wasn't so clever. Kairo had nothing that indicated he should be fighting for justice, and spent most of his time with his crotch firmly pressed against Green Lantern's ass. While we're talking about it, I don't think Aquaman and Aqualad were romantic, but only because it's impossible to imagine Aquaman getting laid by anyone. "

"Green Lantern's sidekick was the coolest. The cartoon called him "Hal Jordan's Venutian helper." He was a little boy from Venus named Kairo and he never did anything other than get captured. He was damn good at that, though.


He could get captured 8 times during a four minute episode. He would already be tied up by one villain and a new villain would stop by just to tie him up some more and have his henchmen throw a net on him. Then he'd wander into an open well filled with scorpions. A few hours alone, and Kairo would have been dead with or without evil's help. The other Super Friends all had sidekicks that were a tiny bit better than useless. Robin had bat-shaped tubes of paste he could throw, Hawkman's bird could scream and peck, Aqualad had a seahorse and a walrus, and Kid Flash could run fast. Kairo had a pants suit and his ears came to a point. Those are the exact same powers as a housepainter that grew up underneath power lines.

Kairo didn't care. He never got his own flying saucer or invisible jetski or any type of weapon. You know how he travelled? He actually had to ride Green Lantern's ass through space. Of all the heroes in the universe, Green Lantern's the only one that can make a motorcycle with his mind. Kairo should have been the last sidekick that needed to resort to a piggyback ride. And when they got to other planets, Green Lantern didn't make him a green boomerang. Kairo had to pick a fight with nothing but a vacant smile. Hey, atomic monster. Try a taste of Kairo's innocent sense of well being!

I don't know how Green Lantern recruited him. Kairo was probably selling candy bars door-to-door, and after Green Lantern bought 12 cases, he received the bonus prize, "Spend a day the rest of your life with Kairo!" "

The Trouble Alert is not a toy. Find a tranquilizer gun or a regular gun, or maybe an elephant-proof peanut suit covered in elephant poison. An elephant's going to win a fistfight with an unarmed human, but it still shouldn't take Green Lantern and Superman to catch it. There are elephants down at the zoo that I'm assuming got there without the help of Green Lantern. I guess it's possible Green Lantern works for the zoo acquistions department. Zoo pamphlets don't exactly say things like, "Murray is a New World monkey from the rain forests of Brazil. He was brought to our zoo when a hunter clubbed him in the face with his rifle and smuggled him across the border in a bag filled with cocaine and tiger penises." Your Zoo-Time Family Map won't tell you how many darts they shot into the neck of the adorable creatures, but they do show you the best route to Penguin Paradise, Cotton Candy Cottage, and Safari Urinal House.



I know it's tempting to call the Super Friends every time a problem comes up in your life. One morning I had such a bad hangover I was making coffee out of tile cleaner and kitty litter. I knew that if I didn't get some superhuman help, an attempt at eggs might kill me. But I didn't strap on my turban and pop up on the Super Friends' TV to bother them with my little problems. I made an omelette out of a towel and hair just so Green Lantern didn't have to waste his amazing power cooking my breakfast. And in the time he would have spent rescuing me from a dangerously non-tasty meal, he got called to move the Earth out of the way of a giant comet. So by not calling, I had a big part in saving our planet.




Green Lantern Memories Part 2: The Forgetful Demigod

Speaking of giant comets coming at our planet, that's exactly what happened one day. A group of yellow comets sent by Green Lantern's purple-headed nemesis Sinestro were about to kill us. And since Green Lantern's powers don't work on anything yellow, he decided he should be the hero take care of it. The rest of the Super Friends are all magnificent idiots, so they agreed, even though Hawkman has a better chance against a yellow comet than Green Lantern. They would have been better off sending Aquaman and hoping the comet was enough parts fish he could ask it to go away.

At the last minute, Green Lantern remembers he can't stop the comets, so he shoves the Earth out of the way. Before I mention how bad an idea this is, I should give you my background in physics. I didn't go to a "good rich boy" school, so our physics midterm was the teacher pointing to things in the lab and we wrote down whether or not it would hurt to touch them. For the final, she held up a ball and we had to shout out what direction it was going to go if she dropped it. So I have no scientific community backing me when I tell Green Lantern that moving the Earth is a shitty idea. I can't give a speech on how long it's going to take for people to start boiling alive when our orbit turns into a death spiral into the sun. I can't tell you about the tides, plate tectonics, or any of that shit. We all thank Green Lantern for trying. The planet will probably live a few more months now that it's not going to get hit by comets, but there's something about his plan I haven't mentioned yet that especially bothered me. After he moved the Earth, he FORGOT TO PUT IT BACK. That's not like leaving the milk out, *******."

That's funny, but I think the high point of the page is the Scarecrow's personal homepage.

lol

It's funny but it's true right? Cuz the damn color yellow it's true, and I first heard about that when I joined this forum, and it stgill sounds really stupid. How in tha hell could they make him vulnerable to the color yellow? What was crossing their mind back then? I wonder, maybe someone wasn't taking his medication or something.

its still better than the weakness to wood that alan scott used to have

I liked the Black Vulcan one the best.

http://www.seanbaby.com/stupcom/superquiz.htm

I filled it in, but dont know if it gives any response or not. Its still quite good though

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/greenl10.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/greenl5.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/greenl8.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/greenl31.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/wonderwoman22.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/wonderwoman6.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/superman6.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/superman8.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/superman5.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/superman7.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/superfriends/images/superman10.jpg

http://www.seanbaby.com/super.htm

The link doesn't work for me!!!