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I have a friend who is adopted and she wants to find her mother.This is the mother who instead of aborted her gave her up for adoption.
Do you think it would be a painful thing for the kid to know or do they have the right to find there birth mom?
What do you think?JM

of course. not that it would matter. it'll be like thankk you for pushing me out... nice to know you... i'll call you on christmas.

first of all, the word abortion belongs in the abortion thread, quit it. snide remarks like that are extremely offensive and immature, dont be so stupid.

and if the child had grown up i would have no problem, say 18 years old...

I have a friend who's adopted and he's met his birth parents more than once, and they're basically just a physical resemblence. His adopted parents are his real parents.


How old is your friend?

Your friend has a right to know her past and where she came from. Having contact with her mother could even be important for medical reasons one day. I think if a person wants to know, then they should be allowed to.

I generally agree, although it is often a mis-conception that every child ever adopted has a strong need/desire to find their birth parents. However there should be no real problem with it, if a person want's to know, then thats their right. Of course there might be mitigating circumstances, but they would be relativly rare. Its the adoptee's choice.

What happens if my friend's foster mom will not let her try to find her real mother?What can my friend do then?JM

How old is your friend?

I don't know what she can do if she's under 18...but if she's over 18 she can do what she wants.

I think that if she wants to find out who her birth mother is, she should be allowed to...if not just to find out her family background. Plus, as had been said, it could be important, in case there is something in her medical history that otherwise she wouldn't know about.

My friend is fifteen.I don't know how much right a fifteen has through.Do you?JM

Not much, I don't think...

Is there any particular reason that her mom won't let her find who her birth parents are?

I have several adopted friends, one of whom found her birth parents...but her real parents remain her adopted parents

I think it is because her mom was going to abort my friend but changed her mind.And my friend's mom is strong againt that and is a christen.She thinks that my friend's birth mom will not want to see her.
Inleast that is what my friend says.JM

imo.
it is ok to meet birth parents, but the parents who brought you up are the ones you love, and the ones you sahre your memories with, and nothing can change that

Thanks Clovie!I will tell her that.JM

I agree with Clovie. If she really wants to meet her biological parents than I believe she can demand information from the adoption agency when she reaches age 18, but I'll have to check on that.

Edit: I think it depends on the circumstances, actually.

My friend's sister is adopted. I don't know if she's met her real parents, but tbh I don't think she really cares... She never brings it up and you wouldn't be able to tell she was adopted if she didn't look different.

I think that children whom are adopted should be told who there real parents are.
Somebody that is extremly close to me was adopted and that person who is adopted has been trying to find her mum.
Just because you give your child up for adoption dosent mean you dont love themor care about them, It might just be really difficult circumstances. Remember there are two sides to every tale and nobodyknows what her biological mum is thinking and real might even be trying to find her? You just never know. Wish your friend the best of luck and I hope she finds her if she wants it that much! Good luck!

could you repeat that?

Are you asking me to repeat something!

she wast asking u emily

the title of your thread Jackie reminds me of the episode on 90210 from the second season when steve sanders goes out and trys to find his real mother.That was a really touching and moving story for me that i could really relate to.

she has a right to want to know who her real mom is but she really should consider it though that theres a possibility her birth mom doesnt want her to find her though.That would be something if she ever did find out where her birth mom was located,that she might not want to be found,to try and find that out first before locating her,otherwise she is just opening herself up to be hurt.

yeah then in that case Jackie your friend really needs to wait till she is 18 when she is legally old enough to make her own decisions without parental consent.