mouth
jUST A PLACE TO POST the problems you have in life that you're not ready / or sure who to tell yet..
because i have a problem myself where i dont know who to tell..
i force myself to throw up after i eat.. not every meal, but meals i feel guilty about after i eat them..most of them.. i'm at 100 pounds, 5"1, i play football and go to the gym every day so i'm in good shape.. it's just that i'm so scared to gain weight!! i know there are another ways to keep the weight off, where i dont have to bend down and stick my head down the loo.. but it's almost like an addiction, a feeling that i HAVE to get everything that i ate out of my body, so that i wont gain.. i've been bulimic for about a month now, sticking my head down about 2 times a day.. and it's gotten to the point where my throat is always sore and yesterday i threw up blood.. that really scared me, but i still make myself throw up.. i want to stop, and get help, but at the same time, i don't because i'm scared i'll get fat..
i remember when i first started.. i was on a stupid diet to lose 5 pounds, and i was getting tired of eating measured meals and cottage cheese and fruit every day for 2 weeks.. So i ate some chocolate, and then i felt really really giulty about eating that, i i ran into the bathroom right after i ate it, turned the faucet on and bend over the loo and stuck my fingers down my throat.. and i remeber thinking "OK, 3 MORE TRYS TO GET EVERYTHING OUT, AND THEN I'LL STOP" but i kept on going after 3 times...
Sometimes i binge, eat everything in sight, and then run to the bathroom to throw it all up.. i feel that it's like a guilt free-way to enjoy all the food that i like.. i can eat all the chocolate that i fancy without feeling bad after wards..
i'm not ready to tell anyone i know in person yet.. not even my best friend.. because i know how she'll re-act.. i'm scared she'll tell my parents, and then my parents will start creating a huge ordeal about it, and get into my personal life more then they are already now, and watch me every bloody minute of the day
.. i just wanted to tell someone, just to get it off my chest..
because i have a problem myself where i dont know who to tell..
i force myself to throw up after i eat.. not every meal, but meals i feel guilty about after i eat them..most of them.. i'm at 100 pounds, 5"1, i play football and go to the gym every day so i'm in good shape.. it's just that i'm so scared to gain weight!! i know there are another ways to keep the weight off, where i dont have to bend down and stick my head down the loo.. but it's almost like an addiction, a feeling that i HAVE to get everything that i ate out of my body, so that i wont gain.. i've been bulimic for about a month now, sticking my head down about 2 times a day.. and it's gotten to the point where my throat is always sore and yesterday i threw up blood.. that really scared me, but i still make myself throw up.. i want to stop, and get help, but at the same time, i don't because i'm scared i'll get fat..
i remember when i first started.. i was on a stupid diet to lose 5 pounds, and i was getting tired of eating measured meals and cottage cheese and fruit every day for 2 weeks.. So i ate some chocolate, and then i felt really really giulty about eating that, i i ran into the bathroom right after i ate it, turned the faucet on and bend over the loo and stuck my fingers down my throat.. and i remeber thinking "OK, 3 MORE TRYS TO GET EVERYTHING OUT, AND THEN I'LL STOP" but i kept on going after 3 times...
Sometimes i binge, eat everything in sight, and then run to the bathroom to throw it all up.. i feel that it's like a guilt free-way to enjoy all the food that i like.. i can eat all the chocolate that i fancy without feeling bad after wards..
i'm not ready to tell anyone i know in person yet.. not even my best friend.. because i know how she'll re-act.. i'm scared she'll tell my parents, and then my parents will start creating a huge ordeal about it, and get into my personal life more then they are already now, and watch me every bloody minute of the day
.. i just wanted to tell someone, just to get it off my chest..
its not healty and it can damage your liver, and when it damages it, then looking uper thin is worthless.
