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I mean we all know Batman is a funny Guy.

So I thought we could collect all the funny quotes he had over the years.
Now since I am from Germany I only hqave then comics in German, but I remember an issue where Brucey caught Killer Croc and thought something like that
if Killer Croc wasn't a Killer but a Bowling Player they would have called him "Alley Gator" I thought that was hilarious (Dude there are so many smileys, how should one ever use all of them?)

Anyway what can you remember?

inJLU yesterday his plane gets ruined so he has to eject.He does and up in to the air.He is falling from the sky with nothing to stop him, as cool and collected as ever, he contacts the JL. "I need air support.Now...since I can't fly. At all."

I died laughing!!!!!

Starcrossed-

Flash messes around with the Batmobile and presses a button which blasts off a wall of Wayne Manor. Batman, gritting his teeth, "THAT'S NOT HELPING!"

When the suggestion of revealing their identities comes up, Flash goes "I trust you guys and all...but the whole secret identity thing-"

"Wally West,Clark Kent,Bruce Wayne" Batman cuts him off."

WW looks at Wally's hair "Red hair...suits you"
Grinning Wally replies "You think-"
Batman throws a jacket at him "Change,NOW!"
HAHAHHAHAHA

Hahaha, thats great, we need more.

ok as I said I only have them in Germqan but I try to Translate as good as I can

JLA 83: American Nightmare

>>After Superman destroys Martian Manhunters Telepathy Thing<<

Atom: I think that shouldn't have happened.

Batman: How long should I wait for the "I told you"! I don't want to get any Trouble.

The Cat and The Claw-BTAS

SELINA: Ohh. I'm afraid I'm not going to be very good company.
BRUCE: Is there anything I can do?
SELINA: Not really. Unless you can get me a meeting with the chairman of Multigon International.
BRUCE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS.
BRUCE: What time's good for you?
SELINA: Hey, I'm starting to like this guy.

The Forgotten-BTAS

ALFRED: This must be the place! Bring us down!
BATWING COMPUTER: Negative.
ALFRED: But Master Bruce is down here! We have to land!
BATWING COMPUTER: Impossible. Area too confined.
ALFRED: Land you bucket of bolts!
BATWING COMPUTER: Your funeral.
ALFRED: Oh dear! Ahhhhh! Get us down!
BATWING COMPUTER: Caution. Rocks.
THE BATWING BUZZES BRUCE WHO IS RUNNING DOWN A NARROW STRETCH OF CANYON. BRUCE DIVES DOWN AND LOOKS UP AFTER THE VEHICLE.
BRUCE: Son of a gun!
THE BATWING STOPS AND ALFRED FALLS OUT ONTO THE GROUND IN A DAZE.
BATWING COMPUTER: Watch your step.
ALFRED: I claim this land for Spain.
BRUCE WALKS UP AND SITS DOWN NEXT TO ALFRED.
ALFRED: Master Bruce!
BRUCE GIVES ALFRED A FRIENDLY NUDGE TO THE CHIN.

Batman sUBZERO

VERONICA: Leaving so soon?
BRUCE: I have to work late tonight.
VERONICA: I've heard that before.
BRUCE: I'll call you tomorrow,' Ronnie, I promise.
VERONICA: I've heard that one too.

Mad Love

BATMAN: She almost had me, you know. Arms and legs chained, dizzy from the blood rushing to my head. . . I had no way out other than convincing her to call you. I knew your massive ego would never allow anyone else the honor of killing me. Though I have to admit, she came a lot closer than you ever did. . . Puddin'. '

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

classics, indeed.

His humor is best because he's so cool and dark...so when it comes off, it's sort of bitter hilarity.

Batman Beyond:
Episode with Ra's (as Talia) giving Bruce the use of Lazarus pits
1. Terry McGinnis: "It's schwain (sp.)."
2. Bruce Wayne: "It's schwarbage."

or when the opera singers were acting out Batman and his archnemeses in a really overlydramatic, corny way
1. Bruce Wayne in the audience (to Terry): "You really hate me, don't you?"

hahahah

also in the sam episode

Terry-Lady that is disgusting!
Bruce-hey, she kissed me!

LOL!

or in the Batman Superman movie,

Quinn says in the end, Puddin.

And Batman answers, At this point, He problemly is.

Probably the funniest thing of Batman I've seen in a while is the Batosie(60s Batman dance) or in Mad Love when Harley says, "Calm down Puddin." Joker PUSHES her out the window and says, "DON'T CALL ME PUDDIN!" And of course there is Batman and Robin, period.

Batman to the Justice League America, back when it was played for kicks and he was running it:

BM: Mister Miracle, you programmed the computer. Could this just be some odd coincidence, or---"
MM: Absolutely not. The computer will compensae for random occureces. If this wasn't a genuine threat--"
BM: "It wouldn't have come up. Yes. I know that.
BC: So why are you wasting our time talking about it?
BM: I wanted you to feel included in the decision-making process.
BC: Well, if that's the case, here's what I think we should do--
BM: I said I wanted you to feel included in the decision-making process. I didn't say you should usurp it.
BC: But--
BM: Now here's what we'll do...

Hahhaha that is great

here's a thought---what's he like when he's drunk. BM or BW. *imagines*

I have one. Its from christmas with the joker.

Robin- you have never seen its a wonderful life?

Batman- I never could get passed the title.


that was so great.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!(Kidding) Dude, is it ok if i post a link where I write Bat-Bios? Well here it is(I'm Bat Bio Guru, as I always am)http://www.darkunderground.co.uk/bios.htm I've done Joker, Scarecrow, and Mr. Freeze so far, and my next ones will be Clayface 1, 2 , and 3, Jason Todd, and Catwoman.

did you do that site yourself?

quality site, very good...

not done by me but the best bio site i ever been to.

http://braveandthebold.net/city/Gotham.html

Thanks for sharing

I want more humour NOW

Then go find some

Hahah in one of the JLA comics Trial by fire I think there was a scene where all the maniacs in arkham got depressive and all and cried and when one of the Doctors showed it to Batman he said something like that
"well what do you think ab.... are you s-smiling?"

I thought that was unbelievably funny.

I like in Return of the Joker when The Joker shows him the film with the torture of Tim Drake and all that, and Batman freaks out and smashes things and whatnot, The Joker's bloody and he says "If you don't like the movie, I've got slides!"

Or in almost Got em, With the Jimmy Carson like TV show.


The Joker walks up to Batman(who is in the"CHAIR" and says, "So how's Robin???

Wildcards in the jla cartoon was very funny.
can't remember what joker said.

Will True loved couquer over all?? Not on my show. Thats about all I rember.


With JLU on, dont think Wild cards will be show in a long time. I do like it, one of the Joker's classic fights with JL and Bats.

joker said once in wild cards:"lets see if the boy in blue is as stupid as he looks" laughed my ass off at that one.

yeah, he never did Stop with the Superman jokes in that one.

He also made a few Flash jokes, and he even said, Wait that was too fast, Lets rewind that in slow mode.

didn't he say something like"oh well only 17 minutes left(getting out a pair of glasses) why that isn't a lot of time left is it. great, i wish there was more jla on toonmai