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what does the kid mean when he says that the spoon isnt what is bending...but him....also another question.....in revolutions..when neo is talking to the oracle ..she talks about some choices and she says at one point"it dosent matter...its my choice"...is she talking about the choice to let smith take over her?....just some questions i havent been able to figure out..

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The matrix is not REAL. Anything inside it is just a program running. Kid told Neo that he can change the code and make that spoon bent.
One another way, Oracle's choice was to help humans. She wanted to end the war. You can say that she talked about letting Smith take over her.

I think what he meant was that you can't change the world, you can only change your perception of it.

what the kid says is similar to what Morpheus is trying to teach Neo when they fight in the construct - "you think thats air your breathing?"

both scenes are telling Neo (and the audience) that the rules of the Matrix/Construct can be bent - just like the spoon...

If the world actually consists of only minds and ideas, then the spoon cannot be bent because it doesn't exist. Ergo only your idea of the spoon bends, therefore it is not the spoon that bends but yourself.

its weird looking at it like that. Everything that ever happened in the Matrix was like a video game. They were in a computer playing a dangerous game

...you...are...here????

We all know the reason why were here, is our affinity for disobedience.

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Actually, I don't think Spoon Boy was trying to tell Neo that he could change the code in the Matrix--what he was saying was that Neo could change his perception of the Matrix such that everyone else plugged into it would see it, too. Of course, as it turns out, Neo discovered later that he could, in fact, change the code, but Spoon Boy didn't know that at the time.

i think all he was trying to show him is that anything was possible. Those little kids making the blocks float and then he bent the spoon. It was to show him that u can bend rules in the matrix, just to re-enfasize wut Morpheus told Neo

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came while I was reading you're posts and I realised that Neo's mind could no longer accept the program in it's entirety.

You see, it goes back to what Morpheus was trying to show Neo during the training programs, that the matrix was not real. Now although all the others had accepted this in a general way, Neo's experience of this was far more specific.

To the others the Matrix was real, Cypher said that "I don't even see the code anymore, all I see is a brunette, red head.." And later even went on to say that "I think the matrix can be more real than the real world"

In Neo's case when he became the One, all he could see was the code which to him would have been a constant reminder that the matrix itself was not real. Like having a dream and realising in the dream that you are infact dreaming, you'd know that you could do anything within it. Even if you were to die, because you knew the matrix was not real, you'd know that you're not really dead, as Morpheus said "you're mind makes it real".

Ergo what the boy was saying was that nothing inanimate in the matrix really exists, hence there is no spoon, or bullets, or weapons on the wall in the chateau.

so knowing that it in fact dosent exist.....helps him to control objects?

not control, manipulate... like gravity and bullets. if he can control gravity, he can makes us all float or make the bullets turn around and fire a different way.

Yes, inanimate objects don't really exist. Take for example in Matrix 1, when Cypher was in the restaurant he said "I know that this steak doesn't exist....I know that when I put it in my mouth the matrix is telling my brain that it is delicious and juicy."