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So I guess I need some advice from the very wise group here at KMC-since my friends are really no help. I saw my ex-boyfriend today. One that cheated on me (Ush and I think the old gang should know this guy pretty well. He was the one I used to talk a lot about) and well, yeah he showed up at my apartment today asking for forgiveness. Now while I am not one to hold a grudge (and after screaming at him about how much pain he put me through) I gave him that forgiveness. Well my roomates came home (they hate him) and they were not pleased. So I guess my question is:

I believe people can change if they really want to, and I don't want another relationship with this guy (trust=negative in my account) but I do want to be able to talk to him. We were friends before we dated. Does anyone think this is a good idea?

ummmmm .... you should never go back to someone who cheated on you...means they never loved you in the first place.... and also...

you are basically telling him... if he does it again...he can easily come back...


But the classic saying:: ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!



(ummm you are to be my maid of honor... get it together) jk

i guess as long as you are happy and you are really thinking things through... I mean you know this guy more than the rest of us...but...

Yeah I know but I just want to be able to talk to him again. He was the only person that was there for me when my mother died. The night after it happened I snuck out of my room and ran away, he found me. Talked to me for three hours. So he and I have a past, but you are right. If he cheated on me once, it means he never loved me. I just feel so confused, but my lungs got a work out. Don't think I really throughly yelled at a person before. I am a very quiet type most of the time.

(Yeah I am working on that, btw-the flower guys called and said that the baby's breathe is currently out of stock)

(i hate baby's breath- YUCK!)

it's good to have someone to talk to .. i mean someone you feel super comfortable with.. I have a guy like that... but he is just a friend...we had a past too but we are just friends


just be careful... you dont want to get hurt again and feel stupid ...

but maybe its healthy for you right now to have that particular person to talk to

*nods* perhaps-I just know that he was the one person I used to go to. And he really needed me today.

And if I ever get the idea about going back to him, everyone at KMC is allowed to line up in the thread: "Quit Your Butting, You'll Get Your Chance"

(Good! So what other flowers do you want?)

I thought you were back with this guy??

if you arent back and you are just "thinking" about it... then thats ok... do some thinking and do all your talking and...it is cool when someone needs you..

No we aren't back together! Ha! Not doing that story again. It was good for like two and half years, then the lies started. The first year was rough, and personally I really don't want to go through it again.

Nah, I just want him to be like a close person in my life. Someone I can goto and he can come to me, when we need to talk. Nothing more.

well then thats ok! who cares what your roomies think... its what you need and not about what they need... you know what is good for you and they don't


(hope that is ok to say about your room mates... nothing against them)

no no, perfectly okay to say. They are just worried because there are a lot of negative things surrounding this guy. So they don't want to see me that way again.

yea just be careful.. thats all.. just think things through

Yeah I have been up all night doing that actually...

I would not go back to him specailly if he cheated on you.If he asked if you guys can just be friends and hang out then that is realy up to you.But if you do that tell him that you are just friends and there is no love between both of you/
If he says no to that then you say take it or leave it!JM

I agree, I don't think I could take a relationship (no I know I couldn't) with him again. I told him we could be "friendish" but friend implies that I have trust in him (and I don't.) So, yeah definately not going back. But would you even talk to a guy that cheated on you?

If it was me no I would not talk to him.Don't pay any attention to him.He losed something good and he is never going to get you back.Hopefully that will break him alittle.JM

The question now is...does that guy want the same thing you do?

A comfortable friendship but nothing more?

Or does he just want you back for sex and or money?

well from what he says, he wants a friendship. What I think he wants, is me-the way it was before. Though I really don't want him...I know what I want.