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You ALL need kilts.

__I've noticed a recent spate of gender dysphoria here. Endemic, epidemic, epic... First, English Moosette is a man, TH. Then, Telpy is a man, Bob (my Uncle, no doubt). Then, Furryman is a woman, Tania. A furry woman, I suppose.
__Well, there's only one RIGHT way to deal effectively with gender dysphoria. You ALL need kilts.
__So get your kilts here!
__Now, the Scots have different kilts for each clan, different colors, and patterns...Clan KMC will have to choose its colors.
__Suggestions?
__I have a couple:
__Plaid composed of a black stripe of the letters KMCKMCKMC, on a rainbow ground?
__Red? Lots of Red? More Red (some colors are more equal than others)?

Anyway, buy a kilt- they're Dashing with a white T and some black Docs, totally non-gender assumptive, and kind to the animals (woven of 100% pure symbiote wool- really!- honest!- what? You don't think I'd felt it out of dryer lint and dye it with Manic Panic, do you?)

*busts in and starts playing bass, totally disregarding what fever red has said*

Hey, that's about the spirit this SHOULD be taken in...

Here's my family tartan, Macleod of Lewis!

Ok I'll try again but attach it this time...

Nice. I see it has Red in it. I would be very proud.
Any suggestions for a KMC pattern?

throw as many colours in as possible, design with a street pizza pattern and it will be just super!

Hey fever red, if you like red tartan the MacLeod clan also have a red tartan...

Street Pizza? I'm lost...LOL- fashion design just isn't your thing once you go symbiote. I'm stuck re-visiting the same old civvies every time I try to assume a low profile, just no imagination left when you spend all day extruding various weapons from yourself...Hell, I need a kilt. Then I could kick Spidey's @ss.

Ah, red n' black...classic.

fashion isn't my thing either what with being a wolf and all...

Street Pizza = Psychadelic Yawn = Pavement Painting = Vomiting after too much beer and food...

Ah, man, I'm SLOW tonight...
*visualizes wolf in kilt* D@mn, that looks killer- I'll bet you could take Spidey...

You and me, the bug squad...

Heheheh- first, we'll need kilts- but, then we'll need a name that will demoralize the city during our rampage. The Sinister Kilts?

__Oh, on the Villainry note, I have sadness to report. My bro just called to report that he can't get my X-mas present- sharks with lasor-beams attached- onto his flight home. The lasors would violate current federal air traffic safety guidelines. The lapful of sharks is good to go, however, as long as they stay in the pet carrier.

*makes up a sinister bassline for the sinister kilts*

I love my bass.

I've allready decided, I'm gonna wear a Kacki Kilt to school one day,
(yea I know Kacki isn't Clan-ish or whatever but my school has a uniform...)

I wanna join!

What color kilt do you think I should wear Kate?

Cen you design a drinking monkey, like in my avvy, to be wearing a yellow kilt? And you know those barret type hats, with the little fluff ball on top, they wear as well? Can you put a yellow one of those on his head? Then put that on a green, blue an black kilt. My clan name? Clan Mc Scotch!!

The Sinister Kilt Klan - I like...

I've just ordered a shipment of genetically modified sea bass with bad attitudes. We can release them in the local water supply so that when people fill their baths they'll get a nice surprise...

Green plaid is classic and HOT...

I have a kilt. Even a picture of me wearing it.

Yes- Sinister Kilts have Sea Bass- that will be the front page of the Daily Bugle... The second lead-in will be- "Spiderman-Sea Bass connection?" We'll terrorize the city and implicate Spidey by dressing the fish in Spidey suits. And Kilts, of course.
__I can't design avvys, but I'll send you the kilt- that's all I do here. Knit kilts out of lovely, luxuriant Symbiote Wool (T.M. the KMC Kilt Company).

Share- perhaps you can be our model...
We need a slogan... "Kilts- Be Comfortable...maybe TOO comfortable."

Any suggestions for me, Fever?

HOLY SHIT! D@MN...
You're in...
Man, you have the boots n' all...
*ogles*
*leers*
I should have started a kilt company the day I got here...
However, your kilt does seem to be woven of the far inferior sheeps' wool, which, while traditional, is neither metamorphic nor sentient...

I would prefer cashmere, but I suppose I cannot be a picky as most people. Even a combination of Angora Rabbit Hair and Cashmere would be sufficient.

Yes?

Well, I'm thinking red, blue, and yellow for you, "*." Is it OK if I call you *? I feel SO close to you NOW...oh- that's why. Bad symbiote...down, easy, down... Heh, heh...oh, that thing has a mind of its own! Just checking what size you were, you know, for the kilt.

My family is Scottish, and we are heavy into the highland games thing. Well, moreso my uncle and cousin who play in a pipeband. Anyhow, we have one here (Highland games) yearly, and so we go. His band is going to Scotland for the World's next year as well. I've never played or anything, I just enjoy the atmosphere. I'm thinking about training for the heavy events though.

And the socks, holy oh GOD are they hot in the middle of July!

Yes, Moose, you'll never go back once you go symbiote!
And now it's time to reveal my sinister ulterior motive...you see, the "kilts" are a flimsy cover for my true problem...
My symbiote is spawning. The spawn will need a host.

I was thinking red, green and black.



Suit yourself. S would work, too. Or Scott.



I was hoping I could show off a little leg.

Look, the socks were OK- but the kilt, THAT was hot. I let my family drag me to a clan meeting at MacAlister once. I looked at the sheep and HATED them. I vowed NEVER to be within ten yards of the filthy things again. So much for my Scottish heritage...

hysterical

Yes, the kilt is hot too, agreed. I go to these every year, and only twice have I worn this garb. My uncle has a Celtic store, and so he has a lot of this stuff. I always feel ridiculous in it. So it was a grand day when I wore it last year.

You can love your heritage without loving sheep. Ever ate Haggis? Or done the haggis hurl?

Sure, sure- once you've bonded permanently to your new life partner, it will assume any color you want...
__And you'll be showing off a lot more than leg...that's just how it goes- sure, you're modest at first, trying to maintain an illusion of civilian dress, but in no time...you'll be scampering up buildings and web-swinging about in a skin-tight, sensually writhing suit of latex-like living tissue...

Part of me SO wants to run now...most of me actually.

I ate Haggis, yes, with my father- NO ONE else would touch it. I also had a boyfriend once, who introduced me to Lutefisk. I think between the two, my tummy mutated.

Its amazing how difficult it is to unload one of these...so, is it the craving for brains, the adrenalin dependancy, or the inherited hatred for Spiderman?

I don't hate it, but it's hard to fathom what you are eating...and still eat it.

Lutefisk?

I have a big sporran.

See, I have no idea what you just said....it's that funny?

Oh, that's a reference to symbiotes. Yeh, they're funny. They're over the top.
Lutefisk is dried cod preserved with- I kid you not- lye...its horrid. An insult and injury to the stomach. Norwegian insanity.
__A sporran...? I could guess- but why don't you tell me?

You just talk so...cryptically...so...off the wall...it's hard to follow you. I like it better when you're not playing the part. Sorry.

A sporran

http://www.scotchcorner.com/sporrans-dress/sporran-ew7-t-b.jpg

I missed too much. I gotta go now.

Green is kind of an ugly color for a kilt...

Ah, sorry- I'll save my symbiotic play for the Official Symbiote thread (mostly!).
OH, I was GOING to guess that was a sporran...and yes, you have a fine, handsome, big one.
Green is ugly? Well, it's just very classic in its appeal. How about...dark red with orange and black...fox colors? Clan McFoXXXy?

Orange, red, and black colors....okay that sounds good to me!

i want one in red, black and white

droolio Sarah in a kilt....rawr....

Foxy...
It will make you easy to hunt, too- we'll be able to see you a hundred yards away. No hiding for you!
__Yes, we'll strip you, hand you a kilt, and give you a thirty minute head start... and then, the KMC English Hunt Club is after you.

Tsk Tsk...hunting is a bad word to us animals...

Scott in a kilt! droolio x 100

Red, black, and white- OK, I'm knitting as fast as my multiple symbiotic tentacles can...sorry, CM, but how else CAN I make the kilts?

I will save you foxy!

can i have it very short!

We'll catch you both, then...all the more fun to watch you in captivity...don't worry, you'll have a fine habitat in which to "frolic."

Yes, short is better- though it won't give you as much protection when you're crawling through the brambles, panting and desperate, trying to keep one jump ahead of the Hunt.

Heh....I think you're the only one in the English Hunt Club Kate...

You wouldn't be able to see me if I got in like a thick field or something would ya? Those colors shouldn't be that easy to notice...

And what are you hunting me for?

Capture or killing?

We're just too hot in kilts Sharah!

Oh Krikey...don't make it from Foxxy, or me! Moose kilts are not the new wave!

droolio droolio

We have hounds to track you by scent! I'm sure Moosette will join...possibly Rogue. Maybe Danni.
It will be live capture, and a live trophy...though some mounting COULD be involved.

Schott in a rubber kilt! Oh gawd save me

No, don't worry- pure Symbiote Wool, T.M.

Is it getting hot in here?

Rubber kilt?! Where...oh, I love latex.

Sharah, can you make me another Sig??

i just saw this site for men in kilts and a rubber one! *faints*

*tosses cold water on Candy Kisses' face. Slaps her gently but firmly awake*
Post link, d@mnit, post link!

Hey now...no mounting...that could hurt a lot!

Whoops sorry guys iwas dreaming!

HEY why am i wet?!?

*chokes on his drink*

Pardon?

http://kiltstore.net/club_images/items/sr_swhdr_leather_wool_kilt.jpg

my face is wet

Oh...right...I knew that...really...*cough*

FoXXXy, I think you have a different interp...maybe, I'll start the Hunt sometime this week, and finish it in a PM to you. THEN you'll understand... AND where's your homework?

Candy, I had to revive you...now talk. Post the link willingly, or I'll have to to resort to extreme measures...

Oh, there it is...hmmm. Could be shorter and tighter. Nice, but I prefer the one I had pictured...on Scott!

i posted the pic look above red!

scott sig made

Yeah? I'll go see...thanks sweetie.

sig

I edited...my response is above, too!

Aww, KissMoose- everybody's fave holiday.

which is where? i want to see

AWESOME Babe! Thank you!!

Yeah I probably do have the whole thing mis interperated!

Uhhmm my dog ate my homework?

Actually I haven't done it yet...I'll do it tomorrow after school because finals were today and tomorrow...

Oh god that pic is hot! Need ice!

Take your time- I just don't want you to forget. Don't rush. I want the full tour into your naughty mind.

Cherry, it's in my mind. Heheheh. If you'd like, I can relay it to you using my symbiote to link with your mind. Hold still- bonding can be...an alarming experience, the first time.

Wait, which pic? I'm lost?!

I got so lost there I missed the ice request...ah, sure, I have ice. Where would you like it?

the pic of scott!

Oh, yes...HOT. Not as hot as FoXXXy's ribbon, but veryvery hot.

Haha...that pic with the ribbon is all in our heads Kate!

True, true...but when I see your foxes, I think of your ribbon-fox, then I think of beribboned-you...yum!

Mine?

can iwear a kilt with out being sexual

Sure- kilts don't have to be sexual- they're fantastic for just chilling in.

What does beribboned mean???

Decorated with a ribbon!

oOo gottcha!

You can decorate me with as many ribbons as you want Kate

no

thats not right

help

Yes you scott! do we have another scott here!

I havent seen foxy's pic!

Well, Samura...er....****S**** is a Scott

runs ice on my neck!

Yes but he isnt here! lol!

MY PIC IS HERERERE!

sorry if it's too small use your imagination

Would you like an ice massage?

Ah, Foxy's picture is not for distribution...it's behind the shelf material. Seriously, it's a mental image. Mine. Relevant only to myself and clinical psychiatrists studying abberant sexual behavior. Well, I must be going. Have a good one, all.

ice is cold

but moose will melt i bet

Ahem Cherry wait your turn!

I would love one Schott

Your wish is my...blah blah blah...*runs off to get ice*

Seeya Kate...be good.

nice piccy Randi, it's not that small.

where is cherry's pic

Good? I am- when I'm not on-line, that is.

In her picture thread.

It's a relative term with you darlin.

Awww byebyes Kate....

Nice sig Moose!

I found it!

Thanks Foxy...Sharah made it for me...

She's so dreammmmmy.....droolio

who's dreamy

Is there another Sharah here? Nope...you are.

ok have fun

I have a new one by the way with my mom

you'll se where I got my good looks from

Haha...yeah I agree...she's really beautiful...

Absolutely. It's not fair.

What's your name Foxy?

My name is Andrew...

hahahahhahahahahhah
your names Andrew
nice name

Hey Andrew..I'm Scott.

Heh...mmhmm I know you are...

I've heard much about you!

Anyways...it's nice to meet you

You've heard much about me?

Damn, I SWEAR 3/4 of it isn't true!

ahahahahaahahah
your names Scott
nice name

You allright?

Hahaha

Don't worry, most of the things are funny and very amusing...

yes i'm a man on a mission

Most?

Would you mind telling me?

I'm a paranoid moose.

Because you finshed with your woman coz she couldnt help you with your mind

To whom are you speaking good man?

Woooooo Kilts

Don't worry about it Scott...

so is it true that you live in America and not Canada?

Uhh..no. Is that one of the things you've heard?

Thorndog! What's up man?

Moose is really a transylvanian transexual from the birth place of an underground indian burial ground believe it or not. that's what i've been told anyway.

Haha...yes it is..

Black Sabbath paranoid

Get out! Really? That's bizarre. Where on EARTH did someone come up with that?

Umm...Thorny...that's soooo not true...*looks at him, sweat beading up on his forehead* Prepostrous....*cough*

I don't know...it was a while bak but I still remember it!

Someone said it here on the OTF too...but I don't remember who....

Where the HELL would that come from! If I were American I'd call myself American Moose...or dumbass, one or the other.

Heh...

Who's English Moosette?

Who is she? Well, she was Syren, but she changed it.

oOo I see....

I was thinking of something really stupid...

What's that?

He was thinking of me Naked

Guess who's back

Hello beautiful...

back street boys?

*looks around* beautiful where?